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Old 09-25-2009, 07:12 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,965,887 times
Reputation: 46662

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A. Children aren't the center of the universe. Things do not have to happen the minute they want it.
B. Anybody who's had to work a job and keep kids maintained during the course of a week know what a brutal haul it is. If it can wait until the weekend, it can wait until the weekend.
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Old 09-25-2009, 07:18 PM
 
28 posts, read 178,174 times
Reputation: 30
It was for a school project and she still had some time. As a parent I saw nothing wrong with how you handled things. Maybe your daughter just needed some extra attention. They do that sometimes; particularly on getting into that teenage stage.Can't really comment much on why your wife reacted that way. Maybe its a forties thing. Just guessing because of how I have seen some friends react to little things or maybe she was just tired. Don't make a big thing out of it. You can always vent here if you have to !
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Old 09-25-2009, 07:19 PM
 
Location: TN
264 posts, read 817,325 times
Reputation: 290
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
What is wrong with people?

I'll get my 11 year old whatever she needs and will not create a psychological void that Daddy isn't there for her. And it's not a sports car, it's only for a school project.

My profession, conferences and everything else will take the backseat if I were a father.
'

so you would risk your job which provides for your family so your daughter can have some oak whatever a day earlier ?
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Old 09-25-2009, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Marion, IA
2,793 posts, read 6,104,991 times
Reputation: 1613
You married a career woman. Not a mother. Off on a business conference? WTF?
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Old 09-25-2009, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,619,916 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by wilsonmom3 View Post
'

so you would risk your job which provides for your family so your daughter can have some oak whatever a day earlier ?
Good trap question.

Both my parents worked and I don't remember an instant where they made excuses or didn't make amends/schedule changes to make sure they were able to fulfill the million stupid things me and my brother needed during our kiddo years. If my parents can do, I very well can. And I'm in a profession that needs neat and calculated planning.

And if I'm unable to alter my plans and can't really get that oak thing, I'll find a way to get a proxy do it for me, or find a way to strike a deal with the kid, rather than complain about it to the wife or to a 1000 anonymous people on a message board.

Frankly, the OP's short on time/home people management. He's venting it out because he is unable to handle it and finds kid management a chore which has been thrust upon him by his wife's absence. And 10 instances as these, the kid's going to alienate himself/herself from the parent.
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Old 09-25-2009, 08:04 PM
 
Location: CA
830 posts, read 2,703,942 times
Reputation: 1025
I can see the daughter as being flustered and emotional about the odd (is it odd?) schedule and turnover of parents this week. I don't think she's necessarily just throwing a fit to get her way. Neither do I think that Dad has to change all of his plans at the drop of a hat to get the oak tag.

What I think the best solution would be is for Dad to communicate to Mom the need for oak tag, Dad to leave as planned, Mom to pick it up on the way home, and give it to Daughter saying "Daddy told me you needed this for school."

She gets her oak tag in plenty of time for her assignment, and she also sees that Mom and Dad communicated with each other about her need and that her need was met, even if it didn't happen immediately. Needs met, I had to delay gratification, Mom and Dad work together to help me - all that sounds like a winning combination to me.

I wonder if the Mom maybe misunderstood the request in light of the stress of travel and whatnot.
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Old 09-25-2009, 08:18 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,568 posts, read 18,038,502 times
Reputation: 16702
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
What is wrong with people?

I'll get my 11 year old whatever she needs and will not create a psychological void that Daddy isn't there for her. And it's not a sports car, it's only for a school project.

My profession, conferences and everything else will take the backseat if I were a father.

There are a few problems with all this:

1. She is 11 - and she knew about this need before the last day of Dad being in charge when he is leaving to go to the office and then on to his conference and Mom being in charge. She cried because she KNEW Mom would know she was supposed to have asked Dad on Monday.

2. It's oak tag. She can go to the store herself (unless they live in the boonies). It can be purchased at any CVS, Walgreens, Rite-Aid, Rexall Drugs, etc. as well as any Target, Walfart, etc. She's 11 - not 1.

3. The "little girl" is trying to manipulate her parents. She liked having Daddy home and wants him to be home again. She doesn't want the switch-over to Mom who knows the score.

At least that's my 10c. I get 10c because I'm a mother, grandmother, and GREAT-Grandmother.
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Old 09-25-2009, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,083 posts, read 20,403,636 times
Reputation: 10343
Quote:
Originally Posted by SKP440 View Post
OK so here it goes....


...your thoughts.
I don't think you did anything wrong. Why can't your wife pickup the oak tag (I had to look up what that is) when she gets back from the airport? Or maybe even tomorrow. Being that it is Friday and assuming the project is due on Monday, your daughter has all weekend to work on it.
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Old 09-25-2009, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,695,560 times
Reputation: 25361
Quote:
Originally Posted by gman6974 View Post
Agreed. She "could" have been crying because she couldn't get her way.

All he would have to do is tell his daughter that her mom was going to get the supplies for her and thats it. The mother has been gone and can easily get the supplies on her way home so he can get his business done.

Don't spoil a child. Please. I see so many parents do this and it's sickening. It really is.
Just curious, do you have a child?
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Old 09-25-2009, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,695,560 times
Reputation: 25361
Quote:
Originally Posted by christina0001 View Post
I think, she's tired and cranky from being away from home, your kid is stressed from revolving door parenting, and you are stressed from being an only parent all week. You're both busy and tired. Bickering won't help...just one of you needs to get it done, as soon as one of you gets a chance. Your daughter will survive I am sure.
Very true. And also maybe you are the parent that she perfers. I got along with my father better..kind hearted soul. My mother a bit offstandish and judgemental at times.
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