Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Let's say your spouse or significant other had a job that requires relocating either one time or every few years. They get assigned someplace far from where you currently live or grew up, and it's someplace you do NOT want to go. Let's say you live in Texas or Florida and love hot climates, but your S.O. has to relocate to Wyoming or Michigan where they have long cold winters, or you are are very close to your immediate family, relatives, and friends and grew up in the same town all your life and you're happy there...would you pack up and leave to be with your spouse/S.O. or would you tell them they'll have to go alone or seek other employment?
If that job was what they were passionate about and enjoyed. However if they had other alternatives and were not living their dream job I would ask them to reconsider.
We discussed the possibility of moving, being away from family BEFORE we were married...just as we discussed money, finances, religion....you know, the IMPORTANT stuff that couples need to be in agreement about before making a life long commitment.
My wedding vows included words such as 'for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health, etc." I didn't say anything specific about cold and snow and yet we moved to Chicago for a while because my marriage is more important than my preference for warm climates. What are the options....be alone in a warm climate or pile on a sweater and snuggle under the covers with the man I love forever? Uh, yeah...why would I even need to think about it? No, I wasn't forced to go, there may have been other options over time, but we were in agreement that the move was best for our family, even if not ideal for me personally. That said, I'm a pretty agreeable person, I trust that DH knows what he is doing career-wise and I trust even more that he puts the best interests of our family first and foremost. He doesn't make such decisions in a vacuum...we are partners.
ETA-If I dug my heels in and really didn't want to go somewhere he would not proceed with the move. In 18 years and 7 moves that has never happened and I don't expect it will. Neither one of us are stubborn or put our own interests first. Right now we both have the same desire to stay put until the kids finish high school but if we HAD to move (i.e. lost job, nothing else local available) we would. DH would even take a much lesser job for the next few years to ensure the kids finish the programs they are in but if all else fails we would have to move.
Yep. That being said, it would have to be a really, really good opportunity. I can work from anywhere there's an internet connection and FedEx. At the same time, leaving behind lots of friends, uprooting my adolescent children, and a lot of other factors weigh against it.
Now, once the kiddos graduate (And assuming we're not living on a boat), then I think it would be kind of fun to live someplace new.
Did do it, Cool! And the outcome wasn't good. Distance is never good if you are close to your family. It can/will strain the relationship. It also is terrifically tough to not have a strong support system nearby. And the old system will weaken, no matter how strong it was previously! Mainly because of the lack of daily contact. At least, that has been my experience.
Happened to me long ago, and the relationship(s) never really recovered. Many family members died throughout the years we were away also, so there wasn't any way to recapture what was once originally there even after a move back.
If I had to do it all over again, I would cement myself to the block in which we all lived!
Let's say your spouse or significant other had a job that requires relocating either one time or every few years. They get assigned someplace far from where you currently live or grew up, and it's someplace you do NOT want to go. Let's say you live in Texas or Florida and love hot climates, but your S.O. has to relocate to Wyoming or Michigan where they have long cold winters, or you are are very close to your immediate family, relatives, and friends and grew up in the same town all your life and you're happy there...would you pack up and leave to be with your spouse/S.O. or would you tell them they'll have to go alone or seek other employment?
This is all very situational. But I dig an adventure and I can make friends quite easily. As long as the relationship is stable, i'm down for whatever.
Would you move someplace you don't want to go for your S.O.?
I'd consider it. My wife wants to live in France, Ive never entertained the thought of living outside of the US (not even outside of Los Angeles) but she loves it there. We thought about selling our places here in California and moving there.
At this point, its just a thought, but I'd definitely do it. I wouldnt move to some effed up place like Texas for her though. But, to another country, Id consider it.
I'm pretty sure I would do it, if the relationship was a good one and well established. I can work from anywhere with an internet connection as well, so it wouldn't be an inconvenience.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What are the options....be alone in a warm climate or pile on a sweater and snuggle under the covers with the man I love forever? Uh, yeah...why would I even need to think about it? No, I wasn't forced to go, there may have been other options over time, but we were in agreement that the move was best for our family, even if not ideal for me personally. That said, I'm a pretty agreeable person, I trust that DH knows what he is doing career-wise and I trust even more that he puts the best interests of our family first and foremost. He doesn't make such decisions in a vacuum...we are partners.
Distance is never good if you are close to your family. It can/will strain the relationship. It also is terrifically tough to not have a strong support system nearby. And the old system will weaken, no matter how strong it was previously! Mainly because of the lack of daily contact. At least, that has been my experience. 
