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ok, some of you may have seen my introductory post.
for those who didn't read it, basically i'm having some relationship problems.
i've been dealt the "i need to find myself" line. she's left, and doesn't know if she'll come back.
now, i know i'm cynical, and, what that normally means, but, the difference is, in this case, because she was in a severely abusive relationship before me, i find myself actually believing her.
anyway, that's beside the point.
i find myself in that "limbo" state, when you're not sure whether you're dumped or not.
as yet, i haven't told anyone, because i'd have to tell the truth, and, understandably, she thinks it might be hard to face everyone if they knew everything, just in case she does continue to see me.
i digress again tho. basically, i'm feeling extremely sorry for myself. a bit hurt, and very lonely.
here's the quandary. it relates to tonite, and tomorrow night. my first weekend on my own
do i sit and open a bottle of rum, and allow it to take me to "the dark place" where i can just wallow in self pity, (and i know i'm strong enough NOT to make the drunken "i love you, you're my best friend" call) then, maybe i can let some emotion out, and deal quicker.
i suppose i can listen to "our songs" and maybe watch one of "our films". that oughtta get me good and miserable !
or, should i sit, sober, and be miserable anyway, watch crap tv, and flick between forums, and facebook, bored out of my mind.
all my friends are married, so will be tucked up with kids and tv, and the ones who aren't, well, if i'm being honest, i'm not ready to face them yet. wounds are too fresh.
i think i already know the answer, but i'm just curious to know how people deal with things immediately.
long term ? there's no better way to get over somebody, than to get under somebody, but i'm not there yet.
i've been dealt the "i need to find myself" line. she's left, and doesn't know if she'll come back.
You truly deserve the person you saw in me. But it's not you, it's just me. You are the greatest person I've ever known all my life. But I have to be honest with myself. But I will never forget you.
Forget her and go lift weights or do some hi-energy cardio.
When my love affair got ship-wrecked like a month ago, that night I spent 7 hours in the gym. And I had so much anger and energy. Finally, I felt sore, I went out and slept on the grass, beside the lake.
The sun came up and a new day had dawned.
That's why I like Colorado.
Back when I was a kid, each time I had to open a new chapter in life, my parents would drench my hair in oil and stripe my torso in sandalwood fluids, and will dip me in the river. It symbolically washes the past away. But I can't do it here, might get arrested for occult
i think i already know the answer, but i'm just curious to know how people deal with things immediately.
Not being one who likes the gym or getting chiggers in my butt crack (tho I do admire your strength antlered). I go with the bottle of rum, whisky, or wine and wallow in my self pitty. mourn, get it out of my system and move on.
that's what's winning at the moment.
i also have a heart problem, so sphysical exertion is probably not wise !!
maybe a trip to the shop for ice cream first ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
Not being one who likes the gym or getting chiggers in my butt crack (tho I do admire your strength antlered). I go with the bottle of rum, whisky, or wine and wallow in my self pitty. mourn, get it out of my system and move on.
that's what's winning at the moment.
i also have a heart problem, so sphysical exertion is probably not wise !!
maybe a trip to the shop for ice cream first ?
Physical exertion is not a necessity, it was my way of retreat.
The essence is that you need "time for yourself".
That feeling that you are oscillating between venus and uranus on your own. You see the planets in the solar system are all there by themselves
When my first love affair (this one calibrated my early adulthood, from the age of 17 all the way to 24, seven long years) went bust in 2004, I was no gym rat. I plunged into something which would take control of my mind. I plunged into Roman/Byzantine/Medieval history reading, intensified my interests in the renaissance arts and even started contributing articles to Encyclopaedia Britannica and later on wiki.
I had a global peer network on historical studies and I was the youngest.
Mind goes into void and it needs to be filled ASAP. Like the idle and empty mind is the devil's workshop
There is a pink floyd song called high hopes. A line goes like, "we were a ragged band which followed in our footsteps".
Each time something bombs, humans go ragged and follow their own other normal self, the sense of lagging behind one's happy self. You simply follow your own footsteps to recovery and you must catch up. Some people don't catch up at all. It's up to asking ourselves if we want to be the one who won't catch up and run abreast or normality.
Allow a few days of wallowing and then find something to occupy your time and quickly. A good cry never hurt anyone, and it will help with the purging process.
you make a fair point, i do have more long term plans for keeping busy, i suppose i'm just interested in different people's wallowing methods.
it's only been a couple of days, so i need to get the rawness out of my system first.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka
Physical exertion is not a necessity, it was my way of retreat.
The essence is that you need "time for yourself".
That feeling that you are oscillating between venus and uranus on your own. You see the planets in the solar system are all there by themselves
When my first love affair (this one calibrated my early adulthood, from the age of 17 all the way to 24, seven long years) went bust in 2004, I was no gym rat. I plunged into something which would take control of my mind. I plunged into Roman/Byzantine/Medieval history reading, intensified my interests in the renaissance arts and even started contributing articles to Encyclopaedia Britannica and later on wiki.
I had a global peer network on historical studies and I was the youngest.
Mind goes into void and it needs to be filled ASAP. Like the idle and empty mind is the devil's workshop
There is a pink floyd song called high hopes. A line goes like, "we were a ragged band which followed in our footsteps".
Each time something bombs, humans go ragged and follow their own other normal self, the sense of lagging behind one's happy self. You simply follow your own footsteps to recovery and you must catch up. Some people don't catch up at all. It's up to asking ourselves if we want to be the one who won't catch up and run abreast or normality.
Massive efforts of self-improvement have always gotten me sailingly through break-ups. Also it really does help to not see the person anymore, even casually.
I wallow by reading old emails, crying over pics and songs. THEN, I rid myself of EVERYTHING that reminds me of that person. It's hard to part with some things, but that's what purging is...getting rid of the toxic crap. Good luck.
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