Is This an Example of Silent Treatment? (date, wife, married)

[IZthe411]

A spin off of the silent treatment thread:

The other day I was with my girl, and we were at dinner with some friends. I can immediately tell she wasn't herself. So I ask her throughout the date 'what's wrong', and she says 'nothing' or 'I don't have anything to say'. So over the next 2 days I really don't hear from her. I figure it can be 2 things: either it's that time of the month for her, or she's mad at me. So when we do get back together, she tells me that my response to something I said to her bothered her, and she needed some time to think about it.

If I ask you what's wrong and you say nothing's wrong, and but something really is wrong, should I take that as silent treatment?

If no, then what is it?

I think I deserved some kind of response, even if she says she didn't like what I said and just needed some time to think or something. I'll let her know if I'm not feeling up to talking or hanging out, I just won't ignore her.

Am I justified here?

[Mr.Cat]

Nobody will never understand women fully, so yes, I would take it as the silent treatment.

[JBMallory]

accept it, it's life

the day my wife and i met my best friends gf, she acted like a complete jerk towards myself and my buddy and his gf... turns out she was feeling bad about herself and didnt bother telling me before we went out so i could reschedule, instead i got blistering drunk and enjoyed myself... her problem for not being upfront

[Elisie]

Don't you just hate it when you get a mixed message! her actions and body language tells you one thing yet she say "oh nothing is wrong" I call these crazy makers. Body language does not match with what she is saying. I would be honest and up front, if this is the behavior she has and will display throughout the relationship, than run! Tell her exactly how you feel when she does this, if she accepts it fine if not than hey you have your answer as to whether you can live with this behavior.

[bobman]

it sounds like silent treatment, but don't force her to talk.

if something upsets, or annoys me, i'd rather brood for a bit, and then talk it out when i've calmed down.

if i'm forced to deal with it there and then, anger can cloud my judgement, and i'd rather avoid a row.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by IZthe411

So when we do get back together, she tells me that my response to something I said to her bothered her, and she needed some time to think about it.

What did you do? (I kid.)
Yep. Its the ol` silence treatment. I guess she`ll come around when she wants to talk about it. Women.....

[Connecticut Pam]

Originally Posted by IZthe411

A spin off of the silent treatment thread:

The other day I was with my girl, and we were at dinner with some friends. I can immediately tell she wasn't herself. So I ask her throughout the date 'what's wrong', and she says 'nothing' or 'I don't have anything to say'. So over the next 2 days I really don't hear from her. I figure it can be 2 things: either it's that time of the month for her, or she's mad at me. So when we do get back together, she tells me that my response to something I said to her bothered her, and she needed some time to think about it. If I ask you what's wrong and you say nothing's wrong, and but something really is wrong, should I take that as silent treatment? If no, then what is it? I think I deserved some kind of response, even if she says she didn't like what I said and just needed some time to think or something. I'll let her know if I'm not feeling up to talking or hanging out, I just won't ignore her. Am I justified here?

First of all...BIG, BIG, BIG mistake to assume that your girl wasn't talking to you because it was her "TIME OF THE MONTH"..Gosh I still hate that theory and I am 61 and well beyond that "TIME OF THE MONTH". Let's get this straight from the git...how would you feel if your back hurt, your stomach had cramps, your legs were swollen and you had a headache...ALL AT FREAKIN ONCE? Oh, lets not forget that you would also be guaranteed that your clothes wouldn't fit for at least five days and you have the added bonus of being able to count on this happening once a month every month until meanopause hits and then THAT is another whole ball of wax in itself.

So, that being settled. I don't think there is a woman or MAN alive who when upset has been asked "what is wrong" and has responded with "NOTHING". My very favorite response is...."You know what you said" or "You know what you did" and even if you have not a clue what you said or did by osmosis, you should know. My husband is famous for this pouting routine he does and when I ask what is going on he swears NOTHING, yet his eyebrows are knit so close together he looks like he has UNI-BROW. After being together for 12 years I know the symptoms of him feeling like I just peed in his Cheerios. UGH. So, on, and on, and on we go with "What is wrong?"...Him: NOTHING and his face gets more and more contorted until I manage to pry out of him what is "issues" for the day are.

Ok, so now here is the "trick". When you ask her what is wrong and she says "nothing"...go on with business as usual and enjoy whatever it is you are doing..out to dinner with friends, etc...carry on. When you do not acknowledge the SNIT they are in, somehow it seems to mysteriously disappear.

Blame her "mood" on anything but her monthly curse..trust me. Men have used that one way too much and we don't cotton to admitting we are bitc- - -es on wheels during this time. Re-think how we do feel during this time of the month and have some sympathy.

You did the right thing letting her cool off for a couple of days and if that works, by all means go with it. Me?? I have to probably spend the rest of my married life prying the husband's eyebrows apart when he is in the throes of his famous hissy fit....feel sorrier for me! LOL

[Yukimura]

In her eyes, you've probably done something wrong. But it's probably so petty you haven't even realised it.

[Eresh]

In my case, when someone asks "what's wrong" and the response is "nothing" it can mean one of two things: 1. there really is nothing wrong, or 2. I don't feel like discussing it. If a person persists on asking over and over "what's wrong", it's just asking for a fight.
This is different from the classic silent treatment. With the silent treatment, often accompanied by door slams and huffy sighs, the person is often deliberately trying to get the other to persist in asking "what's wrong" because she (or he) really does want to get into a fight.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by Mr.Cat

Nobody will never understand women fully, so yes, I would take it as the silent treatment.

Lmao! Sometimes we like to give you time to think about what you did.

But not realizing men have a very poor communication level in the brain. You guys have one part. Which is why men tend not to answer in a big descriptive manner.

While women have two hemispheres of the brain with communication. Thats why we talk too much and tell a bit too much for men

Ex: Man setting up the time and place for dinner

"Hello....Cindy.. do you to go out for dinner at 4:30?"

Ex: Woman's Way of taking the invite

" Oh John....where do you want to go?

He says plainly "Um how about that old pizza place I love?"

She questions"Why soo early..(does he have other plans)"

He states" I have business plans"

She ponders" What sort of business plans?"

He retorts" Its a work meeting"

She says "Why this pizza place? Why not the family style one"

He says annoyed" Well do you want to go there?

She senses the annoyance"Well do you?"

She then says" Well I like it there...your place you chose...however I don't like all the greese"

He replies"Ok we will go your place"

She says "Well if its ok with you?"

He replies" It's fine.."

She says "Ok its a date!"

He says "Um its just dinner..right?"

Both thinking "(oh crap!)"

Mean while he asked his buddy Early to come their conversation:

John asks Joe" Hey wanna go out for pizza with me?"
Joe responds"Sure...What time? The pizza place you love?
John laughs"Yeah..are you coming?
Joe says "Yep"
Conversation done.

This ladies is partically our fault we talk to much. Unless the man is a bit metro.