If you had to choose between a life of love but no financial security... (how to, single) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

Nala8 · 10-05-2009, 08:09 AM

...and a life of financial abundance but very little love, what would you choose?

This is a description of my life right now at the crossroads. Do I go back to New York City at the end of the semester, where I have no problem finding work or making money, but have had a tough time finding love or close friends. Do I remain in Madison where I have no problem in the love/close friendship department but find myself always struggling financially?

Help. I have to make a decision soon. My leave of absence (for my job in NYC) ends in December. My job prospects look bleak here in Madison, but after being back here for only a month, for the first time in a long time I feel like I have a chance to have a solid social life and love life.

ChessieMom · 10-05-2009, 08:12 AM

I don't think the post title aptly describes your situation. You don't know what the future holds, so nothing, at this point, is "for life". If you are young, I'd go grab me a good job first, in a heartbeat. Love will come later.

bobman · 10-05-2009, 08:13 AM

put youself in the position that years down the line, you are lying on your deathbed, breathing your last.

would you rather alone, and be surrounded by all the money you made, or surrounded by people you love, and love you ?

then ask the question again.

Nala8 · 10-05-2009, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

I don't think the post title aptly describes your situation. You don't know what the future holds, so nothing, at this point, is "for life". If you are young, I'd go grab me a good job first, in a heartbeat. Love will come later.

Thanks, ChessieMom. But I am no Spring chicken, as they used to say. I am forty-seven. You are still right though: Nothing is "for life," and love can come to us from anywhere at anytime. Still, I can't help but notice that love comes to me more easily and naturally here in Madison. My fear is that if I move back to New York City, I will have chosen a dry loveless life with money however in abundance.

JustJulia · 10-05-2009, 08:23 AM

I agree with ChessieMom. NYC is a big place with lots of people. I'd rather have a good job and be looking for friends than have good friends and be looking for a place to live. Being broke sucks. I can endure anything as long as I have a warm place to live and food to eat. You can talk to your Madison friends on the phone or over Skype.

Nala8 · 10-05-2009, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobman

put youself in the position that years down the line, you are lying on your deathbed, breathing your last.

would you rather alone, and be surrounded by all the money you made, or surrounded by people you love, and love you ?

then ask the question again.

My point exactly, bobman. Poverty scares the you-know-what out of me, even though I know how to live on a shoestring. New York City has lots of work to offer me, but I could seriously see myself dying alone in my apartment with all my bills paid and no one noticing that I have gone--except maybe my supervisors and the students I was supposed to teach that day. Scary.

JustJulia · 10-05-2009, 08:24 AM

I typed that last response before I saw what you just said. It sounds like you do want to stay in Madison. Are there no jobs there? It seems like a single person could live pretty cheaply.

Currency Pair Crocodile · 10-05-2009, 08:27 AM

Job first

Financially struggling, and going through the hardships with the love of your life, this myth exists in story books (Aesop's fables) only

picklejuice · 10-05-2009, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nala8

...and a life of financial abundance but very little love, what would you choose?

This is a description of my life right now at the crossroads. Do I go back to New York City at the end of the semester, where I have no problem finding work or making money, but have had a tough time finding love or close friends. Do I remain in Madison where I have no problem in the love/close friendship department but find myself always struggling financially?

Help. I have to make a decision soon. My leave of absence (for my job in NYC) ends in December. My job prospects look bleak here in Madison, but after being back here for only a month, for the first time in a long time I feel like I have a chance to have a solid social life and love life.

Choice between the real deal or money? No brainer...LOVE!

SifuPhil · 10-05-2009, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nala8

My point exactly, bobman. Poverty scares the you-know-what out of me, even though I know how to live on a shoestring. New York City has lots of work to offer me, but I could seriously see myself dying alone in my apartment with all my bills paid and no one noticing that I have gone--except maybe my supervisor and the students I was supposed to teach that day. Scary.

Why is it scary?

We all come into this world alone, and we all leave it the same way. In between is just a moment in eternity.

Compare that to your money quest, versus surrounding yourself with good souls.

You'll make the right decision for who and what you are.