U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:04 PM
 
79 posts, read 177,656 times
Reputation: 46
Default My boyfriend likes big breasts

And as you may guess, I have small ones, or else it wouldn't be a problem. Yes, I'm a very insecure person, I'll admit that. But I've always been teased about being ugly, and never got much superficial attention. So yes, I think my insecurities are, in a way, warranted. At least my physical insecurities. I've just beel called ugly more time sthan I've been called pretty.

I live in Latin America. In most countries around here, men don't care about boobs at all, they prefer butts that are round and big. However, in the country that I live in, it's about big breasts, tiny waist and big butt. My boyfriend likes that better. I have small boobs, kind of a small waist (normal BMI, although I'm working to lose some more pounds) and a medium sized butt (it's a bit meh, not like what men like... but at least I can work it out).

I know, I know, looks are just the tip of the iceberg. But I just want to feel validated by him. I really don't know what I'm doing posting these so a lot of people, and maybe a lot of men tell me they prefer small breasts. I don't care about other men, I care about him. I wish, in a way, that he'd prefer B cups, since I'm a B cup. But he probably likes D cups best, which isn't massive but still WAY bigger than what I have. Especially with my smallish waist and wide hips, my upper body looks off.

I wouldn't get surgery though - the risks, the fact that it's frowned upon, you need to get them replaced often, etc. I just... don't know, I guess I wish I could just magically grow them, but I know it's impossible.

I know they bring back aches, unwanted stares, etc. But at least I'd feel like, hey, he likes girls with big boobs, and I fit that! And frankly, being teased almost my whole life for having small breasts has been way more painful than having some back aches.

You see, in my country men really do prefer bigger boobs. In this late show, the host had a Cuban woman invited over. She was very sexy and was talking about Cuban men. So the host asks her what is it that Cuban men like most about women's body? And she says the butt. And the host was suddenly very surprised, and asked her in shock: "So men don't care about big breasts? Really? Because over here, well, bigger IS better!", and she responded that no, breasts were irrelevant in Cuba.

My boyfriend likes Katy Perry. He says she's "cute" (euphemism for hot, sexy, blah, blah, I guess... same with Monica Bellucci). Once I asked him what he thought of my breasts and if he'd like them bigger and he said "well, I like them, but yes, I'd like them more if they were bigger".

I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but culture places so much emphasis on breast size! I know, it's kind of like penis size for guys... but, not quite! Guys don't have it on display all the time. Whereas you can go out with your boyfriend, feeling all sexy and confident, until you reach the restaurant and there are many busty girls showing off. Grr... confidence then drops. Of course!

I just don't know what I want, since I know I should just accept him and myself as we are. But I can't! I just loathe my boobs and knowing he'd like them better if they were bigger doesn't help! Especially since I don't have a great butt to compensate, nor a gorgeous face, nothing! I just wish he preferred small boobs better... or that I had big breasts...



It's so hard being a woman nowadays, how are we supposed to compete with the high expectations have nowadays? With all the media and porn showing perfect looking women, do they really expect us to rise above it and feel totally great being natural, no cosmetic aids, and just gladly accept that these women are superior in the looks department? I tell ya, I can't rise above it and it makes me feel even uglier!

Sorry I know I sound really negative and like I'm a girl obsessed with looks and that there's nothing else going on with me... but this is the one thing that causes me problems that I can't solve or figure out, so that's why I reach out about it.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:07 PM
 
8,424 posts, read 23,816,986 times
Reputation: 5885
What have you done/accomplished besides growing a pair of boobs? Start there. I am sure its not much if you are freaking out of some stupid boyfriend that does not know how to respect what he has.

Dump him. Get the boobs for yourself if you want them.

The porno look grosses a lot of men out anyway too. Not everyone likes the same thing.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,779,228 times
Reputation: 11309
I didn't read the whole thing, but at the very outset I can tell what this is about.

Read this carefully.

Your boyfriend is an idiot.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:13 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,877 posts, read 18,404,241 times
Reputation: 29231
Your boyfriend can't help what he likes, but that is not your problem. Your self-esteem is your problem, and you should work on that.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Southern California
3,239 posts, read 4,473,627 times
Reputation: 4186
Why am I getting deja vu? Have you posted on this before?

Maybe you need to have a very open and direct talk with your bf. He is obviously making comments that hurt you, and he may totally be oblivious to it. If not, then he's a jerk and it's time to consider whether this relationship is positive for the long term.

Otherwise, you need to make some peace with your own looks. Think about the positives of having small breasts, look at all of the famous women over the past century with small breasts who are considered totally gorgeous. A B cup is kind of ideal anyway - they look good in clothes without getting in the way. They're large enough to be noticed, but tend to be perkier and shaplier. There's a LOT areas where small breasts win. The grass is always greener anyway - women with large breasts wants smaller ones and vice verse.

Getting big boobs probably won't solve you insecurity issues anyway, because they probably run deeper with that. You will likely find something else to focus on. Why not focus on what you do have that is attractive instead of just the "flaws"? You have to change your mindset.


Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Your boyfriend can't help what he likes, but that is not your problem. Your self-esteem is your problem, and you should work on that.
He can help what comes out of his mouth....
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:19 PM
 
7,492 posts, read 8,210,135 times
Reputation: 6254
Be proud of what you have. Any guy who has a problem with it isn't worth your time. BTW, not all guys like big breasts. Some of us actually prefer the smaller ones.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:31 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,801,996 times
Reputation: 7873
I understand how you feel. I would also be insecure if my husband dared to ever tell me that he would like some parts of my body to be bigger, firmer, longer, leaner, whatever. To add to the fact that you already have low self-esteem of yourself...that's not a piece of cake what you are dealing with. You want to hear something like: "no...your breasts are gorgeous honey, and I don't want them to be any different". This kind of answer would reassure and make you feel better about yourself. For any cancellation, in this country, a "B" size breast is the most common one and very much liked by most men. And duh, it's not about the size, it's about how they feel!!! Any experienced man will tell you that.
I'm curious what country do you live in?

In regards to fake boobs, I don't know about your country, but here it's as common as anything and it's not frowned upon. It's 21st century. I know many women who got themselves gorgeous breasts and their self-esteem skyrocketed. They don't need to be replaced as often as you think. It think it was Chessiemom who said every 15 years or so. If you are so bothered by this issue, you might want to look into it as an option, but do it for yourself, not for your boyfriend. Quite frankly, no man is worth it.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:33 PM
 
Location: el paso texas
2,597 posts, read 7,701,358 times
Reputation: 1687
Tig ole bitties are the best!!!!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
5,261 posts, read 6,371,047 times
Reputation: 6117
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
I didn't read the whole thing, but at the very outset I can tell what this is about.

Read this carefully.

Your boyfriend is an idiot.
Since when does having physical preferences make one an idiot? He is obviously attracted her regardless of breast size and doesn't pressure her to get implants or anything. I can't really see anything he's done seriously wrong. He just happens to have a physical preference but it obviously doesn't take priority for him or he wouldn't be with her. To me, that shows integrity, not idiocy. Would I prefer a guy with toned muscles? Of course, but I don't mind that my husband is out of shape, I'm still attracted to him! Does that make me an idiot?

From what I've read (and maybe you would have picked up on this too, if you'd actually read the full post), she would clearly still be insecure about this even if she were single or with someone who liked smaller breasts. No one can rely on a partner to fix their self esteem problems because that has to come from within. Maybe having a boyfriend who likes smaller breasts would make her feel a bit better but I imagine she would still walk into a room full of big breasted women and feel bad about herself. Her boyfriend's preferences may not exactly be helping but she would still hate her small breasts regardless.

To the OP - if you can afford it, consider therapy - it can give you the tools you need to rebuild your self esteem and create a healthier body image. If that's not an option, consider some self help books on the issue. I know it sounds cliche but some people swear by it. And some tips off the top of my head:
1. The next time you walk into a room and see all the women with bigger breasts they're showing off - STOP and instead try to notice all the women who DON'T have bigger breasts. I know "misery loves company" isn't always the healthiet method but this will help remind you that you're not alone and that plenty of these women are just as confident and sexy as the women with bigger breasts.
2. Focus on celebrities who have smaller breasts and are still considered sexy. It's easy to say our culture is obsessed with big breasts but you're forgetting all the attractive smaller breasted celebrities out there! Check out lists like this, which celebrate small breasts:
75 Celebrities With Small Boobs and Flat Chests That We Love
Small-Chested Celebrities
3. Remind yourself that while your boyfriend may have his preferences, breast size is obviously not that big of a priority to him, he's with you for a reason, probably dozens of reasons! Keep reminding yourself of all those reasons because those are the important things.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2009, 01:48 PM
 
79 posts, read 177,656 times
Reputation: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
I'm curious what country do you live in?

In regards to fake boobs, I don't know about your country, but here it's as common as anything and it's not frowned upon. It's 21st century. I know many women who got themselves gorgeous breasts and their self-esteem skyrocketed. They don't need to be replaced as often as you think. It think it was Chessiemom who said every 15 years or so. If you are so bothered by this issue, you might want to look into it as an option, but do it for yourself, not for your boyfriend. Quite frankly, no man is worth it.
I live in Chile. Most "models" in my country are augmented, and men salivate. I say "models" because they're not fashion models, more like glamour models, most of them. A lot of Argentinian models make a fortune here, because boob jobs are cheaper in Argentina, so they have that advantage.

I guess I have some problems with surgery, and I say it's frowned upon because most men say they don't like fake breasts (even though they masturbate to pictures or videos of enhanced women... can't they see those are fake or are they lying when they say they don't like them?). Also because I'm 21, and I haven't even had kids yet. Imagine I have daughter... she would probably have small breasts, how would I explain my vanity when she grows up and finds that I surgically augmented mine? Plus my boyfriend seems to like big natural ones (as I said, he likes Katy Perry and Monica Bellucci).
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top