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Old 10-08-2009, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,134 posts, read 14,044,536 times
Reputation: 15727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
There she is! Ms. Jet Jockey. Prancing thru the Elfin Forest [actually the Pygmy Oaks on Los Osos Valley Road] with BOTTLE of Anchor Steam in hand! But doesnt she look marvelous in her hot pink cammo wedding gown and the groom in his bright yellow leisure suit. What a couple!
hee I wish I could get the boyfriend into a bright yellow leisure suit... he's not quite as goofy as I am, though.

We're actually going to be married by my uncle on a pirate ship. Then, it will be Grog all around!
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,892 posts, read 53,708,212 times
Reputation: 36541
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
I meant to say enlighten me on how the practice of a woman taking a husband's name is new, especially when all through the ages marrying was recognizing that a man and a woman were their own family.

I changed it because I wanted to make sure I was clear.
Well, I'm glad you rephrased it

I guess you are unaware that even today in some cultures in Africa and Asia the womans family line is the one continued in her children? There is no taking of a husbands name at all!

So, through the ages SOME cultures have had the practice of the woman taking her husbands name (though as Dan said eariler, that likely started back when women were considered property in the first place), but it's not a given that this has or is happening all over the world. This is not something written in stone you know - cultures do evolve and grow.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,257 posts, read 10,853,834 times
Reputation: 9722
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Some of the men on this thread are working on making all men look bad unfortunately

My husband is the head of our household, the king of our castle, and I am proud to have his last name.

BUT, I gaurantee you, IF I had had some reason for wanting to hang on to my last name when we got married, he would have been secure enough in himself not to feel threatened by that and would have supported my decision to retain the name I had made for myself professionally. Then again, he's a real man
This post makes me need to ask a question of IZthe 411. Sir, Lets assume for a second that your wife does not take your last name. Are you now less of a man? Do us a favor. Take your right hand and reach on down there. Yea. There. Squeeze a little. Still got em? Yea? I thought you would. So WTF difference does it make? Other than to assuage your ego?
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,490,440 times
Reputation: 800
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Well, I'm glad you rephrased it

I guess you are unaware that even today in some cultures in Africa and Asia the womans family line is the one continued in her children? There is no taking of a husbands name at all!

So, through the ages SOME cultures have had the practice of the woman taking her husbands name (though as Dan said eariler, that likely started back when women were considered property in the first place), but it's not a given that this has or is happening all over the world. This is not something written in stone you know - cultures do evolve and grow.
Thanks for that information....

And I appreciate your approach.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:33 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
21,232 posts, read 24,274,241 times
Reputation: 22060
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
Please enlighten me, in all seriousness. Because even if it's taking the name is 'new', I'm sure the recognition of a new family unit when a man and woman come together was marked by something.
I have to get to work now but, tell you what, why don't YOU for your own edification, do some homework on the internet and find out for yourself. You might find the results quite surprising and elucidating. Oh, and by the way, I have been married and did take my husband's last name - more than once. So, as my Mum would say, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,892 posts, read 53,708,212 times
Reputation: 36541
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
Okay, but what if it isn't threatening to him, but he feels that it is a strike against your union?
I just don't think he would have looked at it as a "strike against our union"

Look, he loved me and wanted to be with me BEFORE I married him when our names were different - no reason to feel there would be ANY difference in our committment to each other just because we had different last names after the wedding
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:34 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 11,693,100 times
Reputation: 13213
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
I meant to say enlighten me on how the practice of a woman taking a husband's name is new, especially when all through the ages marrying was recognizing that a man and a woman were their own family.
I do agree that having a single name for a family is ideal and meaningful. But, it would make more sense to have the maternal name taken since lineage is best determined, as far as I know, through mitochondrial DNA, which can only be passed by the woman; not that it matters now given history. I do not agree that tradition should be kept for the sake of tradition. Or that we should participate in behaviors and hold to specific worldviews just because everybody else is doing it. Also, there is an argument that women were treated like property, hence the father giving her away to another man. As if she was something to be given and taken. I'm not sure what to think of that, but it's worth a bit of mindfulness.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,490,440 times
Reputation: 800
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
This post makes me need to ask a question of IZthe 411. Sir, Lets assume for a second that your wife does not take your last name. Are you now less of a man? Do us a favor. Take your right hand and reach on down there. Yea. There. Squeeze a little. Still got em? Yea? I thought you would. So WTF difference does it make? Other than to assuage your ego?
Yo I don't know what kind of freaky fetish you got, but not over here!


Who ever said this was an issue of manhood? It's a legitimate question that obviously generates a lot of issues if it goes undiscussed.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,892 posts, read 53,708,212 times
Reputation: 36541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
This post makes me need to ask a question of IZthe 411. Sir, Lets assume for a second that your wife does not take your last name. Are you now less of a man? Do us a favor. Take your right hand and reach on down there. Yea. There. Squeeze a little. Still got em? Yea? I thought you would. So WTF difference does it make? Other than to assuage your ego?
Well, as of 6:35 this morning when I got woken up by them, my husbands were still there
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,490,440 times
Reputation: 800
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I just don't think he would have looked at it as a "strike against our union"

Look, he loved me and wanted to be with me BEFORE I married him when our names were different - no reason to feel there would be ANY difference in our committment to each other just because we had different last names after the wedding
How are you sure of this? Based on your previous comments, it seems you didn't have a problem with it before your marriage- it wasn't even an issue!

So what makes you sure that it won't if it came up?

Did you discuss it?

I'm asking because people have all these ideals speaking for the other party but if it's not an issue would you know for sure that you'd get the response you are banking on?
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