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When I see birth announcements in the paper I just figure if the woman doesn't have the man's last name they aren't married and the kid is illigetimate. LOL
One of my friends kept her last name or hyphenated it I think because of her profession--she was known as "Amy Smith" and didn't want to change.
However, I believe because her husband has a silly last name ripe for mockery, she uses the above as an excuse.
My husband had a silly last name people always make fun of but I took it anyhow because I like having an English last name.
I knew a woman once who married a man named Crappo. It takes a real woman, who really loves her husband to take a name like that. I had a lot of respect for her. By they way, they pronounced it "Cray-Poe". She said she always knew if the person calling her on the phone was a friend or not. LOL
This is one of those "new liberated women" threads that usually digress into name calling. Liberated women cannot deal with the concept that there are females out there with other points of view. And so they get pretty hostile about it.
As for me, I consider it the highest honor possible to take my husband's name in marriage when I become his wife. To me it is the sign of the ultimate commitment that marriage typifies and demonstrates that I take my vows very seriously indeed.
"Professional" women will whine that they MUST keep their maiden name because they have made a reputation with it and that is what their clients know them by. That is certainly not true. Unless of course, you have the stupidest clients in the world. Women have been getting married for a couple of thousand years and changing their name. It's not something new and generally people will understand and accept that this has happened. Mind you, these are the same women who gladly ditch these same "valued clients" for weeks or months when they take their precious maternity leave. Like so much of their rhetoric, they only use the arguements that suit them at the time.
Anyway, to answer your question. I agree with your friend that if you want a woman who will put her husband and her marriage and her family above everything else, priority-wise, that you definitely should RUN if a woman will not take her husband's name. Like I said, it is an honor and should be treated as such.
20ysinBranson
I am certainly no feminist, far from it. I'm actually fairly conservative. So your attempt to mask your prejudice and inability to put yourself in another woman's shoes by saying anyone not in agreement with you is a feminist is laughable to me.
I too "consider it the highest honor possible to take my husband's name in marriage when I become his wife. To me it is the sign of the ultimate commitment that marriage typifies and demonstrates that I take my vows very seriously indeed".
I just happen to be able to do that AND respect that other woman have different life circumstances and ideas than I do. And the fact they DO differ from me is no excuse for name-calling or deriding their committment to their own marriages.
I have no problem with any of the options. My wife took my name.
I know couples where he has his name, she has hers, and the kid has his. I know couples where he has his, she has hers, and the kids have both hyphenated. I know one couple where they both share both names, hyphenated.
In Canada, where my dh is from, hypenation is HUGE. I was looking through my MIL "church membership directory", and I would say that one out of five names was hypenated.
It kind of makes you wonder what is going to happen when Ashley Richardson-Wilkins marries Rodney Hampton-Jefferson. Is she going to be Ashley Richardson-Wilkins-Hampton-Jefferson?
I am certainly no feminist, far from it. I'm actually fairly conservative. So your attempt to mask your prejudice and inability to put yourself in another woman's shoes by saying anyone not in agreement with you is a feminist is laughable to me.
I too "consider it the highest honor possible to take my husband's name in marriage when I become his wife. To me it is the sign of the ultimate commitment that marriage typifies and demonstrates that I take my vows very seriously indeed".
I just happen to be able to do that AND respect that other woman have different life circumstances and ideas than I do. And the fact they DO differ from me is no excuse for name-calling or deriding their committment to their own marriages.
This is one of those "new liberated women" threads that usually digress into name calling. Liberated women cannot deal with the concept that there are females out there with other points of view. And so they get pretty hostile about it.
As for me, I consider it the highest honor possible to take my husband's name in marriage when I become his wife. To me it is the sign of the ultimate commitment that marriage typifies and demonstrates that I take my vows very seriously indeed.
"Professional" women will whine that they MUST keep their maiden name because they have made a reputation with it and that is what their clients know them by. That is certainly not true. Unless of course, you have the stupidest clients in the world. Women have been getting married for a couple of thousand years and changing their name. It's not something new and generally people will understand and accept that this has happened. Mind you, these are the same women who gladly ditch these same "valued clients" for weeks or months when they take their precious maternity leave. Like so much of their rhetoric, they only use the arguements that suit them at the time.
Anyway, to answer your question. I agree with your friend that if you want a woman who will put her husband and her marriage and her family above everything else, priority-wise, that you definitely should RUN if a woman will not take her husband's name. Like I said, it is an honor and should be treated as such.
20ysinBranson
Though my choices are aligned with your's, my values are not. I made the choice to be a feminine woman by traditional standards but I would never impose that choice on another woman. To do so is no better than the "liberated women" who try to coerce traditional women into hyphenating or keeping their name.
Stay out of my underwear and my social security card and my fist will stay out of your face.
I don't think it's an issue unless you want to make it an issue--I changed mine--but really don't see the benefit of changing it. It is a pain to change your social security card, drivers license, business cards etc.
That may be true, but you will find that when women get divorced (especially from a really bad marriage), they don't seem to have much problem changing it BACK to their maiden name. It's kind of a double standard if you ask me.
That may be true, but you will find that when women get divorced (especially from a really bad marriage), they don't seem to have much problem changing it BACK to their maiden name. It's kind of a double standard if you ask me.
20yrsinBranson
That is SUCH a generalization. Do cease and desist from such pomposity!
This is one of those "new liberated women" threads that usually digress into name calling. Liberated women cannot deal with the concept that there are females out there with other points of view. And so they get pretty hostile about it.
As for me, I consider it the highest honor possible to take my husband's name in marriage when I become his wife. To me it is the sign of the ultimate commitment that marriage typifies and demonstrates that I take my vows very seriously indeed.
"Professional" women will whine that they MUST keep their maiden name because they have made a reputation with it and that is what their clients know them by. That is certainly not true. Unless of course, you have the stupidest clients in the world.
You start your post by stating some women will get hostile over pov's and then you follow up with insults. I have not seen anyone in this thread insult women for taking their husband's name. What is happening is that you are being hostile and if you are met with subsequent hostility you will cry foul. In short, you're baiting.
Next, you are wrong about professional women. The reality is that people publish and if the bulk of a person's publications are under a certain name it would make little sense for that name to drop off the face of the earth.
Quote:
Women have been getting married for a couple of thousand years and changing their name. It's not something new and generally people will understand and accept that this has happened. Mind you, these are the same women who gladly ditch these same "valued clients" for weeks or months when they take their precious maternity leave. Like so much of their rhetoric, they only use the arguements that suit them at the time.
Maternity leave is an employer provided benefit like health insurance, disability, life insurance, 401k contributions, retirement contributions, etc. A benefits package is an aspect of a contract offer for services provided/to be provided. Yes, my salary, which includes benefits, is precious to me. With that in mind, your statement doesn't make any sense.
Quote:
Anyway, to answer your question. I agree with your friend that if you want a woman who will put her husband and her marriage and her family above everything else, priority-wise, that you definitely should RUN if a woman will not take her husband's name. Like I said, it is an honor and should be treated as such.
20ysinBranson
As usual you come up with some real whoppers. Can you be any more insulting? You come off as resentful towards women that choose to live differently.
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