"You really don't know what you're missing."

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by Connecticut Pam

Anyone can paint a wonderful picture on here; it is a world of fantasy for the most part. You can be whoever you want to be, look however you want to look and work at a multi million dollar corporation in Manhattan...who would know the difference?

Yet in the next paragraph, you go on to say how people can find out tons of information - which is it?

My husband works within the I.T. field in a very high capacity as a Unix Systems operator and has investigated fraud situations on the internet. He says the amount of information that their company can and will find is amazing...and would blow my mind. Of course he cannot tell me and I am beginning to think I am glad he can't.

With all due respect, even husbands in the FBI, CIA and NSA discuss "shop" matters with their spouses...

You are going to take chances no matter who you date but I truly believe you are throwing yourself under the bus by doing it on the internet as you have already seen.

I take it you've never tried on-line dating?

Food for thought: Dr. Phil says that right now 70% of all Employers are using the internet..Facebook and My Space in particular to learn more about potential employees. They want to know how people spend their time away from work, what hobbies they have and more. Anyone who feels or thinks that your employers cannot see you online, take a deep breath and walk back into reality world. They can and do.

Dr. Phil is hardly a qualified source for informed opinions. And as for employer searches on FB - yes, they do it. It's hardly ethical, and most probably not legal.

To whit - violation of FCRA and FCRA+ laws; state and Federal discrimination laws; the fact that certain states prohibit denying a job to someone because of off-duty conduct that is illegal. In West Virginia, for example, an employer can't deny a job to someone purely because the person is an off-duty smoker; in New York, "consumption of legal products" is protected activity.

You also need to factor in that a large percentage of FB profiles are probably "puffed up" - in short, lies. Any action taken by a prospective employer that is based on these lies could be open to legal rebuttals.

Me? I am retired, have done my time in the big world of office politics and dating....married and enjoy my time on Facebook playing games and on here chatting.

Do you know that the game applications on FB collect data on you that may be forwarded to a third party? That by playing those games, you give consent to the collection and dissemination of that info?

And did you know that your chats here, whether on the board or in PMs, can be monitored? Have you read the rules for this board (or any other, for that matter - most of them post the rules)? Did you know that your right to free speech is suspended on a forum?

I am Still very careful about what I post...and suggest you be too.

That's a wise policy, granted. But now, beware - the guy that you've labeled a stalker could find you and sue you for defamation of character.

[country pride]

I remember several years ago someone who kept persisting on asking me out. He was one of those 'ladies men' who can get anyone at anytime. I didnt want to date him and kept telling him to go find someone else to be his bed-hopper. And funny, thats a phrase he used when I kept turning him down: 'You dont know what youre missing'.
I told him finally, yes I do know. Im missing out on chances of catching some disease. That shut him up and he backed off ever since, but I like my health status.

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by Connecticut Pam

Once again the internet dating scenario has given me the creeps. This guy sounds like a "mini stalker" and I say that because right now it appears he hasn't let go of whatever it is you posted.

I take stalking very seriously. I'm not so quick to call someone a stalker because they can't take "no" for an answer and can't handle rejection. He may or may not be, but I'd hardly classify him as such.

People just do not understand that the internet is WIDE OPEN no matter how much privacy you think you have, it just isn't there. To post personal information especially where you live or work is ludicrous and dangerous.

Who posted personal information?

Anyone can paint a wonderful picture on here; it is a world of fantasy for the most part. You can be whoever you want to be, look however you want to look and work at a multi million dollar corporation in Manhattan...who would know the difference?

My husband works within the I.T. field in a very high capacity as a Unix Systems operator and has investigated fraud situations on the internet. He says the amount of information that their company can and will find is amazing...and would blow my mind. Of course he cannot tell me and I am beginning to think I am glad he can't.

I have to agree with SifuPhil there, though I think I get where you are going. If you're not one to check people out, you could fall prey to a con-artist. I think any reasonable person knows this. I've been criticized for being too careful. I've experienced and seen my share of what is out there, and how easily one's privacy can be violated. I keep that in mind when searching for companionship online.

Whatever happened to old fashioned dating? Meeting someone while out walking, jogging or shopping? What happened to getting set up by a friend with a cousin's cousin? You are going to take chances no matter who you date but I truly believe you are throwing yourself under the bus by doing it on the internet as you have already seen.

I'm with SifuPhil again on this one. Have you ever done the online thing?


As I stated earlier, I post about these situations because I can. There is certainly a lesson in it, but it is not that I'm throwing myself under the bus. This guy didn't have the opportunity to run me over. I am already dating someone and, so far, there are no tread marks. Were there no cheaters, liars, sociopaths or buses before the internet came along?

Food for thought: Dr. Phil says that right now 70% of all Employers are using the internet..Facebook and My Space in particular to learn more about potential employees. They want to know how people spend their time away from work, what hobbies they have and more. Anyone who feels or thinks that your employers cannot see you online, take a deep breath and walk back into reality world. They can and do.

It's a good thing I'm the boss.

Me? I am retired, have done my time in the big world of office politics and dating....married and enjoy my time on Facebook playing games and on here chatting. I am Still very careful about what I post...and suggest you be too.

Good Luck and sorry this is so long.

Good for you, and good advice.