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Old 10-11-2009, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
1,657 posts, read 3,881,373 times
Reputation: 889

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Hi Ladies:

Back in June '09 there were two long threads about on-line dating profiles
Gentlemen and online dating - a little advice for you.
and
Ladies and online dating - a little advice for you.

Since those two threads got hijacked several times, I wanted to ask a bit more specific question(s). Specifically, questions about the profile photo of a guy that you women would view. (Aside: We ALL know about guys viewing a lady's photo so give it a rest guys.)

I am going to make a presumption here: many ladies are very visual observers and notice (are aware?) of things that most guys wouldn't have a clue about.

1 - Do you ladies notice if the shirt he has on is new (less than 5 washings) or a comfortable shirt he has worn several seasons? (Again, not if you like the shirt, just do you notice the newness, I think they call it 'sizing', of the shirt.)

2 - What about a guy wearing a Tie? Good Idea? And would your notice if the tie was out of fashion, or an expensive silk tie (by the knot of course!), or if the tie knot was a double-Windsor, or basic American Gothic single handed knot?

3 - Do you notice if he has had a haircut too recently, or is in need of a haircut?

4 - Photoshop the guy's hair to make minor color corrections OK or is ALL Photoshop alterations a complete No-No (AKA: a slippery-slope without end?)

5 - Can a tight close up photo pose look, well..., too "posed" or should all photo's of a guy be what it called natural 'pose'.

6 - In the aforementioned threads, there seemed to be a lot women who objected to guy posing with their adult toys in the background (cars, boats, golf carts, etc.) but then, what should the background be? Blank wall indoors, back yard trees, neighbor's house (or lack of neighbor's house.) or maybe just a dark blanket draped over a closet door?

In short, not what a guy's photo SHOULD NOT DO, but what points in the photo that a generic guy should do to make the photo more eye catching to you as a woman. Please, keep it positive.

Phil
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Old 10-11-2009, 01:45 PM
 
17,749 posts, read 15,031,977 times
Reputation: 6377
Quote:
Originally Posted by philwithbeard View Post
Hi Ladies:

Back in June '09 there were two long threads about on-line dating profiles
Gentlemen and online dating - a little advice for you.
and
Ladies and online dating - a little advice for you.

Since those two threads got hijacked several times, I wanted to ask a bit more specific question(s). Specifically, questions about the profile photo of a guy that you women would view. (Aside: We ALL know about guys viewing a lady's photo so give it a rest guys.)

I am going to make a presumption here: many ladies are very visual observers and notice (are aware?) of things that most guys wouldn't have a clue about.

1 - Do you ladies notice if the shirt he has on is new (less than 5 washings) or a comfortable shirt he has worn several seasons? (Again, not if you like the shirt, just do you notice the newness, I think they call it 'sizing', of the shirt.)

2 - What about a guy wearing a Tie? Good Idea? And would your notice if the tie was out of fashion, or an expensive silk tie (by the knot of course!), or if the tie knot was a double-Windsor, or basic American Gothic single handed knot?

3 - Do you notice if he has had a haircut too recently, or is in need of a haircut?

4 - Photoshop the guy's hair to make minor color corrections OK or is ALL Photoshop alterations a complete No-No (AKA: a slippery-slope without end?)

5 - Can a tight close up photo pose look, well..., too "posed" or should all photo's of a guy be what it called natural 'pose'.

6 - In the aforementioned threads, there seemed to be a lot women who objected to guy posing with their adult toys in the background (cars, boats, golf carts, etc.) but then, what should the background be? Blank wall indoors, back yard trees, neighbor's house (or lack of neighbor's house.) or maybe just a dark blanket draped over a closet door?

In short, not what a guy's photo SHOULD NOT DO, but what points in the photo that a generic guy should do to make the photo more eye catching to you as a woman. Please, keep it positive.

Phil

Hi philwithbeard,

I know you are asking women but I will give you some general advice that applies both ways. Dress for what YOU want. If you like a woman who dresses up, then dressing casual is probably not a good idea. If you do both then show both. There is no one look all women prefer.
Just like politicians, keep it simple. The less you reveal the more active their imaginations. The more you reveal, the more likely some detail will take on an over inflated importance. Its more likely to be used to eliminate you for consideration. It is much easier to introduce the details in the proper context later. Again, the "back ground" is called a back ground for a reason. It should be something that does not catch the eye in particular. I would suggest high quality photographs. Even consider a professional photographer.
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Old 10-11-2009, 01:50 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 34,338,692 times
Reputation: 6197
Dress like yourself and take a picture that looks like you. DO NOT PHOTOSHOP.

Don't be fake about yourself because then its just a disappointment when the flesh you shows up.
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Old 10-11-2009, 02:14 PM
 
Location: somewhere south of Canada
2,162 posts, read 3,767,326 times
Reputation: 2562
1 - Do you ladies notice if the shirt he has on is new (less than 5 washings) or a comfortable shirt he has worn several seasons? (Again, not if you like the shirt, just do you notice the newness, I think they call it 'sizing', of the shirt.)

I don't notice how new the shirt is. I would, however, notice if it was an old ripped t-shirt with a photo of a half naked woman advertising beer on it.

2 - What about a guy wearing a Tie? Good Idea? And would your notice if the tie was out of fashion, or an expensive silk tie (by the knot of course!), or if the tie knot was a double-Windsor, or basic American Gothic single handed knot?

A tie would be a good idea. I wouldn't notice the type of knot.

3 - Do you notice if he has had a haircut too recently, or is in need of a haircut?

I would definitely notice if he was in need of a haircut, but then again, I prefer guys with short, military haircuts, so anything long would be a turnoff to me

4 - Photoshop the guy's hair to make minor color corrections OK or is ALL Photoshop alterations a complete No-No (AKA: a slippery-slope without end?)

Do not PhotoShop anything. Period! Unless it's a professional photo where the studio made minor corrections, I wouldn't change anything. After all, if you expect to meet someone in person, you want to look like your photos.

5 - Can a tight close up photo pose look, well..., too "posed" or should all photo's of a guy be what it called natural 'pose'.

Unless it's a studio done photo, they should be more casual and natural.

6 - In the aforementioned threads, there seemed to be a lot women who objected to guy posing with their adult toys in the background (cars, boats, golf carts, etc.) but then, what should the background be? Blank wall indoors, back yard trees, neighbor's house (or lack of neighbor's house.) or maybe just a dark blanket draped over a closet door?

I don't mind the car/boat shots, but you have to be careful to not come across like you think you're God's gift to women because you own a Ferrari. I wouldn't do the blanket draped over a closet door, maybe a shot of you in front of your house, next to the trees/bushes. Do you have any pictures of yourself on a recent vacation, or something like that?
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Old 10-11-2009, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
856 posts, read 1,888,660 times
Reputation: 901
1 - Do you ladies notice if the shirt he has on is new (less than 5 washings) or a comfortable shirt he has worn several seasons? (Again, not if you like the shirt, just do you notice the newness, I think they call it 'sizing', of the shirt.)

No unless it's something really weird or the shirt looks dirty.

2 - What about a guy wearing a Tie? Good Idea? And would your notice if the tie was out of fashion, or an expensive silk tie (by the knot of course!), or if the tie knot was a double-Windsor, or basic American Gothic single handed knot?

if you are the type to go places and would wear a tie when appropriate then I think it's fine. But if you are the type that wears a tie maybe twice a year don't bother.

3 - Do you notice if he has had a haircut too recently, or is in need of a haircut?

not really, I would have your hair cut however you normally have it.

4 - Photoshop the guy's hair to make minor color corrections OK or is ALL Photoshop alterations a complete No-No (AKA: a slippery-slope without end?)

no photoshop!
5 - Can a tight close up photo pose look, well..., too "posed" or should all photo's of a guy be what it called natural 'pose'.

you shouldn't look like you went to Sear's Portrait Studio...

6 - In the aforementioned threads, there seemed to be a lot women who objected to guy posing with their adult toys in the background (cars, boats, golf carts, etc.) but then, what should the background be? Blank wall indoors, back yard trees, neighbor's house (or lack of neighbor's house.) or maybe just a dark blanket draped over a closet door?

I agree with the above something that isn't distracting.

Mainly I want to see one headshot with GOOD lighting, you not wearing sunnies or a hat.
Then I want to see one full body shot with clothes that fit. Plus the use a decent camera. I all too often see pictures that look like they were taken with a disposable camera in a poorly lit room.
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Old 10-11-2009, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
1,570 posts, read 5,162,700 times
Reputation: 1388
Dress in your own style. But be clean and tidy - well groomed. Dress as you would for work - if you wear a tie at work - wear a tie in the photo.
The photo is to give an idea of what you look like. Your main photo should be a close up of your face. Other photos could be you dressed, casual, biz, etc.

Yes, stay away from the toy collections - they want to get to know you, not your garage!
Best wishes.
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Old 10-11-2009, 08:25 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,457 posts, read 16,416,956 times
Reputation: 13154
1 - Do you ladies notice if the shirt he has on is new (less than 5 washings) or a comfortable shirt he has worn several seasons? (Again, not if you like the shirt, just do you notice the newness, I think they call it 'sizing', of the shirt.) I personally do not unless it's something really skanky, but many women might, esp if they're trying to determine a man's income level. I think the quality of a man's clothes might be more important on a date, in which case it would be best to dress appropriately for where you're going. I've heard that it is more important that men wear designer labels than it is for women to, but I do not look at that stuff.

2 - What about a guy wearing a Tie? Good Idea? And would your notice if the tie was out of fashion, or an expensive silk tie (by the knot of course!), or if the tie knot was a double-Windsor, or basic American Gothic single handed knot? Only a good idea if that's how you usually dress. If it was too fussy, it would be a turnoff to me, but depends on what kind of woman you want to attract.

3 - Do you notice if he has had a haircut too recently, or is in need of a haircut? Yes, but no such thing as too recently. I don't mind long hair, even like it, but it needs to be neat. Beard, same--I like them, but I like them neatly trimmed.

4 - Photoshop the guy's hair to make minor color corrections OK or is ALL Photoshop alterations a complete No-No (AKA: a slippery-slope without end?) Best not to do it.

5 - Can a tight close up photo pose look, well..., too "posed" or should all photo's of a guy be what it called natural 'pose'. I think you should have at least one of those so I can see what you look like. The ones that are too far away so that I can't see the expression in your eyes are what would keep me from responding.

6 - In the aforementioned threads, there seemed to be a lot women who objected to guy posing with their adult toys in the background (cars, boats, golf carts, etc.) but then, what should the background be? Blank wall indoors, back yard trees, neighbor's house (or lack of neighbor's house.) or maybe just a dark blanket draped over a closet door? I am turned off by poses with the "toys" but I've heard this and I think it's true: you should have a photo of yourself doing something interesting. I saw one that interested me once: it was a guy with a chainsaw in his hand doing yardwork maybe, but he was in such a strange pose that it caught my attn. He was taken, alas, but it proves that the weird poses get attn. Maybe a pic of yourself in an exotic place if you travel, or at a ball game if that's your favorite thing to do--you want them to picture themself in that place with you. In a hot air balloon or jumping out of a plane? Proves you like adventure--that would totally attract me, lol. Just make sure that they can tell it's you.
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Old 10-11-2009, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,426,763 times
Reputation: 24873
I think you should post a pic like this...hahaha j/k
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Old 10-11-2009, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,426,763 times
Reputation: 24873
Something like this Would show personality that you can be humorous. lol
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Old 10-11-2009, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,565 posts, read 42,426,763 times
Reputation: 24873

This one is nice shows that the person is an outdoors type.
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