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Old 10-11-2009, 10:12 PM
 
Location: Newark, California
2,249 posts, read 771,655 times
Reputation: 671
Default What to do with a non-responsive ex?

My girlfriend broke up with me about the middle of September[I don't want to remember the date], we had been going out for 11 months, and I love her dearly, and since the break-up we have remained best friends, we still text and IM each other, and once we even went to see a movie as friends, but as of late[about the last week], she wont return anything I send her, won't return calls, texts, IM, anything. I haven't done anything to possibly rub her the wrong way, I've been 100% nice since the break-up, I've given her plenty of space and everything, so what do I do since she won't respond to my messages? Am I just over re-acting, or is something wrong? I don't want to have to show up at her job or her house, to me that is only in the most extreme of situations. I'm thinking about just continuing on and hoping she 'just got busy' or she fell asleep when I sent messages, she likes to nap.
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:13 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,326 posts, read 54,810,346 times
Reputation: 37066
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow Dude View Post
My girlfriend broke up with me about the middle of September[I don't want to remember the date], we had been going out for 11 months, and I love her dearly, and since the break-up we have remained best friends, we still text and IM each other, and once we even went to see a movie as friends, but as of late[about the last week], she wont return anything I send her, won't return calls, texts, IM, anything. I haven't done anything to possibly rub her the wrong way, I've been 100% nice since the break-up, I've given her plenty of space and everything, so what do I do since she won't respond to my messages? Am I just over re-acting, or is something wrong? I don't want to have to show up at her job or her house, to me that is only in the most extreme of situations. I'm thinking about just continuing on and hoping she 'just got busy' or she fell asleep when I sent messages, she likes to nap.
Sorry to tell you, she's likely found a new guy. Time to let her go completely I'm afraid.
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:14 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,614,372 times
Reputation: 7234
If she is not responding to correspondence of any kind I would leave her alone...she will make contact when she can.
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Newark, California
2,249 posts, read 771,655 times
Reputation: 671
She broke up with me because she said 'She just didn't want to be in a relationship anymore' now I still believe that was true, but I also think she was just trying to let me down easy.
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,846 posts, read 53,342,650 times
Reputation: 22748
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow Dude View Post
I'm thinking about just continuing on and hoping she 'just got busy' or she fell asleep when I sent messages, she likes to nap.
I'm relieved to know you're a teen 'cause if somebody was expecting ME to respond to every stupid message all the time and only napping would be an excuse not to, I'd wanna strangle him!
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:17 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,614,372 times
Reputation: 7234
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow Dude View Post
She broke up with me because she said 'She just didn't want to be in a relationship anymore' now I still believe that was true, but I also think she was just trying to let me down easy.
Then let her go....really...if you don't you will end up making a fool of yourself and any good memories you have together will forever be tarnished...bow out with dignity.
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Houston
3,567 posts, read 1,592,572 times
Reputation: 931
I'd say screw her. I hate people who won't return calls/messages and don't even tell you why. I mean, what the hell is so hard about telling the person what he/she did wrong, or for whatever reason they don't want to talk anymore. Has happened to me a few times and it just sucked.
Try it one last time. Ask her why she does not respond and what you might have done to upset her. If she dtill does not respond - then she's one of these rude people. Don't waste your time.
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:20 PM
 
Location: Houston
3,567 posts, read 1,592,572 times
Reputation: 931
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I'm relieved to know you're a teen 'cause if somebody was expecting ME to respond to every stupid message all the time and only napping would be an excuse not to, I'd wanna strangle him!
Well, that's just how they communicate these days. Just a short " I don't have time right now" would be totally sufficient. If she can't even do that, she's just not worth it imo.
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Old 10-11-2009, 10:21 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,036 posts, read 8,914,487 times
Reputation: 7880
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow Dude View Post
My girlfriend broke up with me about the middle of September[I don't want to remember the date], we had been going out for 11 months, and I love her dearly, and since the break-up we have remained best friends, we still text and IM each other, and once we even went to see a movie as friends, but as of late[about the last week], she wont return anything I send her, won't return calls, texts, IM, anything. I haven't done anything to possibly rub her the wrong way, I've been 100% nice since the break-up, I've given her plenty of space and everything, so what do I do since she won't respond to my messages? Am I just over re-acting, or is something wrong? I don't want to have to show up at her job or her house, to me that is only in the most extreme of situations. I'm thinking about just continuing on and hoping she 'just got busy' or she fell asleep when I sent messages, she likes to nap.
And it should stay that way. DOo not show up at her house or her job.

I think she owes you the consideration of ending it herself, but some people can't handle being the one to do the heart breaking. If something happened to her (God forbid), it is likely that you would have heard something by now. She may have decided to end communication.

The way I see it, you have two sensible choices. Let her go now. Or leave her a message asking for an answer one way or another. If she still doesn't respond, let her go. You guys really should let the smoke clear before even attempting to establish a platonic friendship.
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Old 10-12-2009, 12:17 AM
 
24,498 posts, read 14,127,595 times
Reputation: 24801
I agree do not show up at her job or house - coupled with the messages which I'm sure were many it's becomes stalking
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