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Sounds like back then she was ready for sex and you werent. So she went and found someone who was. Whats the big deal? She was 16. Do you want people holding all the decisions you made at 16 over your head 20 YEARS LATER? Actually your post sounds like your ego is hurt. There is only 1 thing you can do about that. And that is to GET OVER IT!
My friend that's all I am trying to say. I can't tell you how many times she has told me I was the only man she ever loved and was hurt becasue I wiould nlt sleep with her not when she was 16. She wanted me inside he and I said I couldn't. I never knew a teen of 16 could possible fall that deep in love with a guy who was 23. Even after being apart she loved me dearly. Her face would light up like a xmas tree when we were together. I just did not know it at the time.
I can't believe you. So do you wish she HAD told you? And then you would have walked away and missed having this wonderful marriage that you keep saying you have? Is that what you wish for? Because you are being a complete hard-nosed ignoramus about someone making a mistake, something that they regret who knew better than to disclose something that was none of your business in the first place.
If you can't see how foolish you are being, then walk away from her. Because that is where you WOULD be otherwise. She made a mistake. She regrets it. It had nothing to do with you. MOVE ON.
People that age don't know what they are doing. That's why they put those laws in place. No matter how mature they sound they still are babies. Sheesh!
You were 23?!?!? WTH Dude!?!?
Her parents were stupid!!!!! Yes, stupid!!!!! If I had a 16 year old daughter and a 23 year old man tried to come over to date my daughter I would have taken you outside and beat your head with some serious advice. (If you know what I mean?)
Gotta agree with you there, bud. I'd never allow that either. No flippin' way.
so would you freak on me? i was 19, dating a 17year old... it's not illegal in this state.. i was out of school, had been working full time for almost 2 years, she was a high school senior... she had an engagement ring by the time she graduated
so would you freak on me? i was 19, dating a 17year old... it's not illegal in this state.. i was out of school, had been working full time for almost 2 years, she was a high school senior... she had an engagement ring by the time she graduated
No clue what are you asking here...or who you are asking it of.
everyone that is freaking on this dude because of the age difference... i dont see the big deal, especially if the parents approved, you are allowing the parents a LITTLE credit for not being morons, arent you?
Huge difference. At 40 and 33 each member has had ample time to mature emotionally and mentally. At 16 they are still a child in most people's eyes. In your case where you were 19 and she 17, that's different, you were both relatively young but close in age. The OP was 7 years her senior. If my 16 year old daughter comes home with a 23 year old, me and him are having a wall-to-wall discussion over his interest in my daughter. At 23 many people have already graduated college or served a stint in the military, at 16 you haven't even been to your senior prom yet.
Huge difference. At 40 and 33 each member has had ample time to mature emotionally and mentally. At 16 they are still a child in most people's eyes. In your case where you were 19 and she 17, that's different, you were both relatively young but close in age. The OP was 7 years her senior. If my 16 year old daughter comes home with a 23 year old, me and him are having a wall-to-wall discussion over his interest in my daughter. At 23 many people have already graduated college or served a stint in the military, at 16 you haven't even been to your senior prom yet.
Or better yet, can anyone tell me why a 23-yr old guy (who is already out of high school and either in college -- thus experiencing college life and therefore would have more things in common w/ college folks -- or already working -- thus would have more things in common w/ those at work) be interested in a 16-yr old, other than getting "some action"?
I appreciate the semi-level explanation. People mature at different rates, and while the rule may be that almost all 16 year olds are too immature for a real relationship, this girl may have been the exception that proves the rule.. possible, yes; likely, no
Dude, let it go. She was 16 years old and this was 1989.
I appreciate it that in your youthful innocence and naivete, you wanted to be her first and you her first so that the first for both parties would've been a celebration of romance. Unfortunately, teenagers do make mistakes.
Think about it. People in their 20s, 30s, and even 40s do dumb things we later regret or are so embarrassed about we'd rather not share. There are things I have done w/ some women that I wish I could take back and will never be able to. I'd even say I've been fairly lucky, because I haven't gotten as burned as other guys have.
For example, by lacking self-control, I blew what could've been at the least a new friendship and at most a new dating relationship with an attractive and fun lady this past summer. I desperately wanted a 2nd chance, but I blew it.
But you know what? I let it go.
Again dude, I'm sure it's not a pleasant memory, but... it's been 20 years. For her sake and yours, please move on by focusing on the positive of the present and on the potential positives of the future.
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