Just Married - Need Advice (wife, marriage, women, love)
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I recently got married to my lovely wife. She and I are both Air Force Captains and are currently at different assignments. Her assignment ends in March, and then she'll be stationed with me in Los Angeles!
We've been with eachother for a while, but we've only lived with eachother for about a week or two before we got married. It seems like all of my relatives, friends, and co-workers are warning me "just you wait" when she moves in with me.
While we don't really fight or have much drama in our relationship now, they're saying the first year of marriage is a rocky road, and are describing this as if to brace me for some terrible journey. Now I'm scared and confused
What are your experiences with your first year of marriage and what advice do you have for a guy like me...other than "put the toilet seat down".
Don't listen to "downers". My first year of marriage was nothing but a happy bliss. I've been married for 7 years and although sometimes it's "rocky mountaints", most of the time it's "smooth sailing".
Yes, it's an adjustment, yes, you might have difficulties in some areas, but if you love each other, this will be a very exciting and happy time. Don't let negative thoughts and fear cloud your mind. Don't put that out in the universe. Think that it will be amazing... just think how much sex you will be having now that you live together!!!
Well do all the things you enjoyed doing with her before you married. Explore L.A. and SoCal, take weekend getaways up the Big Sur coast, stay active together. Do everything together just like friends...hiking, biking, bar hopping, dining, concerts etc. Take advantage of all that L.A. has to offer.
Aside from that, just realize that compromises may be in order. You have grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle, and that may change now, but it shouldn't change to the extent that you aren't happy. It's a balancing act, but it shouldn't feel like a huge sacrifice, just small compromises. Like I said, the less time you spend around the house looking for and noticing one another's quirks and flaws, the better you can build your friendship and bond in your relationship. Have fun, it shouldn't feel as though you just took on a boarder or roommate.
I do think the first year of marriage was very hard. If I have any advice -is be very careful what oyou say. Words can be very painful - do not say anything that you cannot take back - because those words will haunt you. Better to just stay quiet -if you have harsh words that will come instead.
Don't listen to "downers". My first year of marriage was nothing but a happy bliss. I've been married for 7 years and although sometimes it's "rocky mountaints", most of the time it's "smooth sailing".
Yes, it's an adjustment, yes, you might have difficulties in some areas, but if you love each other, this will be a very exciting and happy time. Don't let negative thoughts and fear cloud your mind. Don't put that out in the universe. Think that it will be amazing... just think how much sex you will be having now that you live together!!!
If you have never lived together the first year can be full of change. It doesn't have to be negative..you are venturing into a whole new life. Be open to change. Go with the flow as this is how you really get to know each other good/bad.
This is coming from someone who crossed that bridge 32 years ago!
Best wishes to you and look at it as a new adventure.
I recently got married to my lovely wife. She and I are both Air Force Captains and are currently at different assignments. Her assignment ends in March, and then she'll be stationed with me in Los Angeles!
We've been with eachother for a while, but we've only lived with eachother for about a week or two before we got married. It seems like all of my relatives, friends, and co-workers are warning me "just you wait" when she moves in with me.
While we don't really fight or have much drama in our relationship now, they're saying the first year of marriage is a rocky road, and are describing this as if to brace me for some terrible journey. Now I'm scared and confused
What are your experiences with your first year of marriage and what advice do you have for a guy like me...other than "put the toilet seat down".
Congratulations. Hah..heh hummm.
12 years Buddy.
Listen. What your relatives are saying is there is a transition between single and married. Me and Us. Once you get that squared away you should be alright till about the 7th year.
Hopefully you can keep the honeymoon flames going to get past the get stuff together.
Remember, women tend to talk their ideas and feelings outloud. Not everything needs answering. Sometimes you just keep quiet and let her work out what she is talking about. Unless she asks twice then you can comment. Like, "Why is it so cold in here?"
I hope it works out for you bro. Keep yourself as quiet as possible.
It is a major change. But it doesn't have to be negative. You think you know a person beforehand, after moving in you learn a lot more. It helps to be flexible. There will be conflict and difference in opinions. Be prepared and open minded it will be smooth transition.
Well, you need to go in with a positive attitude and be patient because you are both going to be on a learning curve, and enjoy it! This is a great time in your life!! Congratulations!!!
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