U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-13-2009, 05:40 PM
 
829 posts, read 2,452,996 times
Reputation: 355

Advertisements

ok im engaged, and tonight i got a lil ticked...my fiance and i set up a bank acct. so we can put money towards the wedding...im late 20s, shes early 30s...ive already bought her a nearly 6000 dollar ring, and she keeps expecting me to put in more money into the acct...i dont mind putting some into it here and there, but she was stressing how shes working extra to put money into the acct. and hinting how i need to put more in...i already told her i have no problems paying my share of the wedding, family will help me, but she says "we should put money in together" now i know shes not taking the money i put in and spending it on other things...i do trust her...one problem is she doesnt want a small wedding, she watches these shows on tv and gets all these ideas...none the less am in the wrong?

im kinda like im putting my hard earned money in from working hard labor for what? a flower arrangement? some other things that i dont need to...

again am i wrong? what should i tell her?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-13-2009, 05:41 PM
 
6,764 posts, read 18,976,840 times
Reputation: 4645
Take the money and buy a house. A nice wedding is only a few hours party (for other people).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2009, 05:45 PM
 
6,440 posts, read 9,249,846 times
Reputation: 10694
Exchange the ring for something cheaper and deposit the difference.

Really, $6000, was that necessary?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2009, 05:47 PM
 
829 posts, read 2,452,996 times
Reputation: 355
gypsy...i know...but she has her mind set up on something else as far as the wedding goes...


actually i meant to type in almost 5000 stell stress...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2009, 05:54 PM
 
Location: right here!
1,057 posts, read 1,647,058 times
Reputation: 1310
Just a suggestion, poll the people that you both know and ask them if it was worth it to have the big expensive wedding, or do they wish they had spent it on something more....lasting.

Or, tell her what you're comfortable spending on the wedding. "This is what I will contribute." If you're willing to put up say 5K for a 10K wedding (which I know gets you nothing these days)...that's what you're comfortable with. Tell her she can put in as much additional cash as she wants.

Get this money thing worked out. I see a lot of disagreements in the future if you're already arguing about this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2009, 05:58 PM
 
829 posts, read 2,452,996 times
Reputation: 355
oh i know...i agree yellfire...the thing is she wants this special wedding...not me...and the woman side of the family usually pays a lot of it .....thats why im kinda wondering...she says she thinks "well since we are older we should pay a lot of it"...im all for helping out, but my family really doesnt want me too...they want to do the paying of a lot of it...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2009, 06:00 PM
 
11,662 posts, read 13,518,397 times
Reputation: 18990
Welcome to marriage. You're just getting started!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2009, 06:03 PM
 
829 posts, read 2,452,996 times
Reputation: 355
so tell me am i wrong? what should i do?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2009, 06:07 PM
 
691 posts, read 1,984,206 times
Reputation: 766
Time to put the brakes on. The number one problem in marriages, is MONEY. How to discuss it, how to manage it. If you can't talk about the problem now, it will only get worse. Married people have more problems discussing money, than sex.

1. Do you have the same financial goals? Have you talked about Financial goals?
2. Are you a spender, or saver? Is she a spender or saver?
3. Discuss the wedding, plans, and budget, come to a consensus.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2009, 06:13 PM
 
Location: right here!
1,057 posts, read 1,647,058 times
Reputation: 1310
Quote:
Originally Posted by CelticViking View Post
oh i know...i agree yellfire...the thing is she wants this special wedding...not me...and the woman side of the family usually pays a lot of it .....thats why im kinda wondering...she says she thinks "well since we are older we should pay a lot of it"...im all for helping out, but my family really doesnt want me too...they want to do the paying of a lot of it...
She's "older"... and acting like a spoiled kid. If your family wants to pay, I say let 'em. But I think the fact that you said "I'm kinda ticked" speaks volumes. You already have different priorities when it comes to money. What do most couples break up over? Money. I don't think you should be forced to save for a wedding that you don't want.

I'm a chick by BTW who had the big wedding and the whole time I knew I was doing it for my mother. Course, she paid for it. But I felt like I was acting in a TV show. If I ever did get married again (where is that never say never thread?) it would be short and sweet, courthouse, middle of the day, call some people later and share the news.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top