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Old 10-14-2009, 06:43 PM
 
Location: NY metro area
7,796 posts, read 16,377,425 times
Reputation: 10808

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Quote:
Originally Posted by pitt_transplant View Post
But it is true...It is a loss because she reached out..and he f-ed up and stayed selfish...

Lying to yourself about what you want does NOT make you a winner. It makes you delusional.
You don't think her request was selfish???
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:44 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,584 posts, read 21,358,138 times
Reputation: 10082
True Max's mama

Let me try a scenerio off the top of my head and use pitt in it since me and her are trading opinions.

Pitt meets a man. On her list of things she likes about a man he fills alot on that list. She loves him, is turned on by him, and even though he meets many things she desires he doesn't meet all of them because of course who does meet all your requirements usually? Often we see the good and compromise because overall we know we are lucky.

However pitt has a thing for extra sized dongs. While he satisfies her overall and turns her on he doesn't exactly meet that one complete desire. But she knows that overall he is a good catch and really does love him. But sometimes those thoughts come into her head about that special turn on. She doesn't want to cheat on him but maybe just wants to indulge into her mind's desire so she fantasizes and indulges in porn to what she is thinking.

After that little "change" from the norm she feels balanced again and after that little break in the routine she wants the normal again (him).

She offers him to join her in her fantasy about super size me porn. He knows that he isn't that, is he gonna enjoy indulging in that with her? Probably inside he is gonna feel that he doesn't have something he can give her that she desires. He may not realize that she does love him and is turned on by him he is gonna just dwell about the fact that he doesn't have the dong she wants. In that case better that she goes behind his back....

Is that right is that wrong? Different people have different ideas about it.
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:48 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,777 posts, read 13,524,581 times
Reputation: 6584
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post

However pitt has a thing for extra sized dongs.
Classy


OMG LMAO!
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,623,830 times
Reputation: 24104
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
Different people have different ideas about it.
Thats why this thread will never die!
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Old 10-14-2009, 07:05 PM
 
8,411 posts, read 39,215,832 times
Reputation: 6366
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
True Max's mama

Let me try a scenerio off the top of my head and use pitt in it since me and her are trading opinions.

Pitt meets a man. On her list of things she likes about a man he fills alot on that list. She loves him, is turned on by him, and even though he meets many things she desires he doesn't meet all of them because of course who does meet all your requirements usually? Often we see the good and compromise because overall we know we are lucky.

However pitt has a thing for extra sized dongs. While he satisfies her overall and turns her on he doesn't exactly meet that one complete desire. But she knows that overall he is a good catch and really does love him. But sometimes those thoughts come into her head about that special turn on. She doesn't want to cheat on him but maybe just wants to indulge into her mind's desire so she fantasizes and indulges in porn to what she is thinking.

After that little "change" from the norm she feels balanced again and after that little break in the routine she wants the normal again (him).

She offers him to join her in her fantasy about super size me porn. He knows that he isn't that, is he gonna enjoy indulging in that with her? Probably inside he is gonna feel that he doesn't have something he can give her that she desires. He may not realize that she does love him and is turned on by him he is gonna just dwell about the fact that he doesn't have the dong she wants. In that case better that she goes behind his back....

Is that right is that wrong? Different people have different ideas about it.
Hey needle schlong...
I just know what I had and don't want what I have not
I found guys on the smaller end to have other inner personal qualities that do not mesh with me.

I don't settle for scraps or what I do not want. I guess that bothers people that do I don't think anyone should settle. Its why people cheat and get divorces. NOT because someone is hating on pron.

If I start thinking of other people its a sign that my relationship is not meeting my needs. Why keep it? Whats the point of keeping something you don't want?

If you dinner tastes like crap would you still finish the plate?
Whats the point?

Toss it out and get something decent!
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Old 10-14-2009, 07:11 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 4,798,418 times
Reputation: 2308
Pornography hasn't always been as accessible as it is now a days with the internet, hand held computers, and millions of web sites devoted to nothing but that. The evolution of porn is actually a huge problem and is progressive in nature. Just in my lifetime its went from magazines, to VHS, to DVD, and now the information superhighway which is overflowing with the stuff. Sure strippers and prostitutes have always been around but I don't consider that to be the same thing since its an actual human you're interacting with. In any case you also have the evolution of toys to assist in masturbation that are now making things identical to real life sex organs...with women I know for a fact that things exist that can give them superior orgrasms compared to male interaction. I've already seen video of robots that can do things very similar to humans...and they are constantly getting better. The writing is on the wall for where this thing is headed and its total replacement of human interaction as the epitomy of every sexual recluse's dream. I have a feeling people with money can already get access to stuff like this. Anyhow this is just food for thought as it doesnt really contribute anything outside of that.

The guy broke his word, thats a problem no matter what it is. I don't care if he said he'd never eat split pea soup again...a promise is a promise and a broken one is an issue.

As far as it being about pornography I will say that most men struggle with that, but not all of them. I'm more of the mindset that if you're in a committed relationship, marriage or not, its something that should be avoided. To have your woman feel like you are comparing her to other women, that most of the time are impossibly hot, is both unfair and cruel. You are taking these naked women with surgically altered bodies and bleached buttholes and putting them on a pedestal that your lover, like it or not, will often feel inferior to. Its unrealistic, fake, and selfish to involve yourself in those behaviors. Its also impossible for a woman to ever be comparable to the pornography because the pornography doesn't age and you can always "change the channel" so to speak. Oh don't like one size boobs, lets just find a better pair. Wait her hair is the wrong color lets change that. Find one with a bleached butthole, perfect! Its disgusting and men who constantly jack off in relationships show immaturity, inability to control themselves, and total lack of caring for their significant other's feelings.

Whats more is that pornography is an addiction and can be progressive. I've seen people who got into pornography fetishes for a few years come out needing nothing short of a 4th of July festival sized arsenal to achieve an orgasm with a real person. Sexual fetishes are real mental problems that can also be fed and increased through pornography. I mean seriously, have you ever seen any of those japanime movies with eight headed penis monsters having an orgy? How do people get that messed up to find that sexually appealing? What ever happened to being sexually satisfied with one person?

As far as pornography and single people I have to admit that I feel its wrong, but also something most people struggle with. I myself try to not use it and can sometimes go a few weeks before I break down, but then I just pick myself back up and try again. Its something I try to stay off of because some day I want to be able to fully appreciate one woman's body and not mentally compare it to other ones I've seen. And yes I have been in a sexual relationship before and did not find it necessary...and thats when I was at my sexual prime. I think the problem is that the sexual desire is in gross excess of its function, which is to reproduce and not sit infront of a computer monitor stroking it for three hours a day fantasizing about some fat chick taking it from a fireman. Modern society is also to blame in that they push sex in everything. Its in movies, its in magazines, its all over television, its on the internet and its all screaming in your face "SEX SEX SEX"! People who push products, and hence make money, want everyone to be horny 24/7. They tell you its normal and encourage it so they can make money.

Sex is everywhere and its unavoidable so people associate that with normal. Lets take a look at some examples. Axe body spray, hey you smell great lets have sex! Miller lite beer chicks in bikinis fighting in a pool. What in the hell does drinking a beer have anything to do with two hot half naked lesbians in a public pool? UFC fighting...have you seen how hot the ring girls are? Every time you see any weight lifting supplement product it has a near naked girl standing there with some jacked guy on steroids trying to push you its product. A protein supplement is just that, its not sex in a can. I could go on and on but the point is that you can't really avoid society and big business pushing in your face whatever sells. Its about money and whatever makes money gets pushed in your face.

One last thing to mention is that I'm not aware of the full details of your relationship (marriage) but people do get horny and their sexual needs do need to be met...I am just saying pornography is not the solution...it needs to be the two of you mutually getting one another off (ideally anyhow). When people are dumb enough to get into a marriage where the sex gets cut off a few months later its no surprise the divorce rate is about 50%. But if all sexual needs were being met, and this varies based on a ton of individual factors, I believe pornography to be a terrible habit akin to other time wasting destructive activities.
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Old 10-14-2009, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,665,791 times
Reputation: 11309
Lionking, do you have enough ammunition to bring your roast thread back up???
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Old 10-14-2009, 07:13 PM
 
37,496 posts, read 45,805,567 times
Reputation: 57001
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
That's great ChessieMom, but you are judging OP's situation according to your own. It's great that YOU never turn down a quickie, however, we don't know how it is in OP's marriage. Maybe there is a reason behind him closing the damn door and turning on his computer. There are always 2 sides to the story.

Although, to me none of it is an issue, whether i'm in the next room or not home at all.
You are right - I have no idea how things are in HER marriage - all I know is the info she provided. All I can give here is how I would feel - MY opinion on the issue. And to me, I think he's got a problem. But your point is valid; perhaps there is something else going on, that she's not disclosing. I can only comment based on the info given.
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Old 10-14-2009, 07:16 PM
 
37,496 posts, read 45,805,567 times
Reputation: 57001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason28 View Post
if all sexual needs were being met, and this varies based on a ton of individual factors, I believe pornography to be a terrible habit akin to other time wasting destructive activities.
Totally agree. Reps for ya on that.
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Old 10-14-2009, 07:16 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,358,227 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
You are right - I have no idea how things are in HER marriage - all I know is the info she provided. All I can give here is how I would feel - MY opinion on the issue. And to me, I think he's got a problem. But your point is valid; perhaps there is something else going on, that she's not disclosing. I can only comment based on the info given.
For any cancellation, your husband sounds like one lucky man.
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