U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:18 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,330,437 times
Reputation: 7860
Default Love/Sex/Relationship jokes and poems

I want to start a thread on love/sex/relationship jokes and poems. I'm not sure if this is an appropriate forum for it, or should I put it in a media one. Can we start a thread like this for fun? Moderator- please let me know if it's acceptable, if not, please remove it or move quietly. LOL. Let's keep it as much of PG13 as possible.
Here are some:

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow.....
______________________________________________

A Special World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

- Sheelagh Lennon -
__________________________________________________ ____________

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

- Courtney Kuchta -
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:24 PM
 
24,021 posts, read 12,967,382 times
Reputation: 23622
"she introduced me as her first husband - while we were still married."

(Raises glass) "A toast. To your wives and girlfriends ....may they never meet."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:25 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,330,437 times
Reputation: 7860
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
"she introduced me as her first husband - while we were still married."
lol
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:31 PM
 
Location: So Cal
23,141 posts, read 16,722,325 times
Reputation: 21764
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
"she introduced me as her first husband - while we were still married."

(Raises glass) "A toast. To your wives and girlfriends ....may they never meet."
"Let me introduce you to my current wife."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:34 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,330,437 times
Reputation: 7860
Keep them coming...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:37 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,330,437 times
Reputation: 7860
2 Men talking.
One is asking the other:

"Does your wife scream during sex?"
"Yes, does yours"
"Yes, but ONLY after............when I wipe my p***s against the curtains"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:48 PM
 
24,021 posts, read 12,967,382 times
Reputation: 23622
Love will find a lay - Robert Burn

I was married once - now I lease

The most romantic thing a woman ever said to me in bed was, "Are you sure you're not a cop?" -Larry Brown

The reason people sweat is so they don't catch fire when making love - Don Rose

If you want to read about love and marriage you need to buy two separate books.

A wife lasts only for the length of a marriage. An ex wife lasts forever.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing - then they marry them.

when a woman marries she exchanges the attentions of many for the inattention of one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:56 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,330,437 times
Reputation: 7860
I want to be your companion
and walk hand in hand,
your strength enveloping mine.
Autumn leaves falling,
scuffing feet and laughter,
sharing nights, not finished by the dark.

I want to be your confidant
as you pen your deepest
thoughts, as your heartaches
bleed and finally break free.
Your dreams, I keep as if my own.
I want to smile as you smile
and giggle with you
at nothing at all.

I want to be your lover
and find the passions
that move you to action.
I want to be the softness
that induces you to trust.
I want to be the naughty
that makes you come back for more.
I want to please you.

I want to share your breakfast
and your dinner,
I want you in the shower
and in your bed and
with soft steps to bring you coffee
(I take mine black)
Your strong arms, the legs
that power your thrust,
your lips of pleasure,
these are the fuel of my desire

no it is no secret, my love,
and to put it very simply,
I want you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:57 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,330,437 times
Reputation: 7860
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Love will find a lay - Robert Burn

I was married once - now I lease

The most romantic thing a woman ever said to me in bed was, "Are you sure you're not a cop?" -Larry Brown

The reason people sweat is so they don't catch fire when making love - Don Rose

If you want to read about love and marriage you need to buy two separate books.

A wife lasts only for the length of a marriage. An ex wife lasts forever.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing - then they marry them.

when a woman marries she exchanges the attentions of many for the inattention of one.
Love it...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2009, 12:59 PM
 
2,893 posts, read 3,322,062 times
Reputation: 1916
There once was a man named Ned,
Whose c**k had a corkscrew head,
He searched the world wide,
For his corkscrew bride,
But she was a left-hand thread.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top