Got my first date in months, don't want to ********** up... (dating, women)

[Centurian]

I used to work with this girl a little over a year ago. I think there was some chemistry between us, but I was dating someone else so I didn't pursue her. Either way, she went her separate way and I didn't see for for a long time.

Then a couple of days ago, we just happened to run into eachother at Borders and started chatting and catching up. I like to think we had a little "mini-date" there and then, because we were talking for a long while; we even took a long walk and went to a cafe down the road.

I got her number and we have a date this Wednesday. I was excited at first, but now I'm nervous as hell.

This will be my first date with a new girl in months. She's really pretty, but I don't want to seem to eager or desperate; plus I read a really terrifying article in GQ or Esquire or something that women can literally SMELL fear.

I have a tendency to worry about my body language on a first date and I can't help but fidget and squirm around when I'm talking to a girl.

But my biggest fear is awkward silences. I HATE awkwards silences; I feel like nothing destroys chemistry faster than that.

But I feel like we've caught up so much that last time that there's nothing really left to talk about or learn about eachother, and I don't want to hit an awkward silence when we see eachother.

What do I do? I haven't been this nervous in a while.

[Centurian]

Wow seriously? This forum censors the words "s-c-r-e-w this up?"

[Robhu]

Relax. Be yourself. Act natural not fakey.
Be a friend first. If you go out of character to impress her she will be able to tell that.
Don't be so nervous. She is human too and is probably a little nervous herself.
If you aren't good at starting conversation tell her that you are a very good listener and pay attention to what she says and respond. Give her your full attention.
Let it go from there. I'm sure you will find the two of you can communicate and build on it.
Most of all, be honest. They can tell when we are making ouselves sound better than what we are.
You can even admit you are a little nervous on a first date because you don't want to mess it up and you want to see her again. If she has feelings for you she will help you through it and help to build your confidence.
If she likes you as you are that's great.
If she doesn't, it wouldn't work out anyway.
I wish you good luck and good times with her.
Act normal, be attentive, and DON'T TRY TOO HARD TO IMPRESS. Just be yourself and let a natural relationship evolve.

[pers]

If you fear awkward silence then my suggestion is to plan for it. You caught up in Borders so I assume books are a common interest which offers quite a bit to talk about! Even if you haven't read the same books you can still discuss favorite books, authors, subjects or recommendations for each other.

Another way to plan is to find three interesting articles in a paper, magazine or online and reread them before your date. It doesn't matter what they are about, it just needs to be something you find interesting or entertaining enough to be comment worthy. If you feel an awkward silence coming on it gives you a "So I read an interesting article ..." story to get the conversation going again.

You didn't mention what you are doing but if you are concerned about fidgeting then doing an activity might help since it gives you something to do and provides some conversation as well. If you are planning dinner and a movie, going to the movie first and dinner second has always worked out better for me. The movie gives you time to settle in and get comfy with being on the date plus provides easy conversation fodder for dinner if you need it.

Finally, take a deep breath! Women are nervous before a first date too. Relax and have fun, even if it turns out you don't have enough in common to date you can still have an enjoyable evening.

[stepka]

Gosh, just be the same way you were when you ran into her this last time. Obviously she liked you enough to see you again. I can't imagine that you will have run out of things to talk about, but if you worry that you have, you can always read the newspaper before you go, or news of the weird or something--I've found that if I repeat one of those it will get the ball rolling and the personal stories will start. Watch her eyes for cues as to whether you're talking too long--if she starts to fidget and look around the room, change the subject. But don't keep it all on her to do the talking either.

I don't know if women can smell fear--I have an amazing sense of smell and I've never smelled it and I've had some nervous dates, so that must be made up or there is some superwoman out there. But, I wouldn't put too much stock in what these mags say--they write to sell.

Anyway, you'll be fine.

[Sunnydee]

All of the above posters gave you great advice. Just be yourself, listen attentively, and be honest. Most women appreciate those qualities. You got along great at Borders, so you can build on that. If you're fidgety taking a walk with her is a great idea. It'll use up some of that excess energy.

I believe I starting falling for my DH on our first day because he was extremely nervous all though dinner, but then asked me if we could take a walk, and during the walk asked me about my favorite book. He was the first guy in a long time who really seemed interested in getting to know me and not just wanting my body. You'll do fine - just relax.

[Ep-]

Just relax and have fun and things will happen naturally. Chances are she's a bit nervous too!

[Thursday007]

Run! Don't Walk! As fast as you can out of this forum!

Go on your date and let us know after it's over

[dave nz]

Get off shortly before your date, helps relax your body and mind and puts you in a better mood, works for me. Goodluck.
and/or doing a workout can have the same effect.

[SVTLightning]

Ask TVSG advice for a first date, then just do everything opposite and you will be fine!!!