Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Guys are horrible at understanding hints. They probably see your "waiting for him to make the first move" as, "Carp, she's not interested in me after all. I fail as a man," and they wander away embarrassed and rejected.
We are simple creatures, and need pictures drawn in bold colors, with big instructions at the top and an invitation.
I've been married for 10 years and I still can't figure out my wife's hints half the time. "Are you hinting? Can you just tell me what you want please? I don't know if you're being coy to get me away from you for the night without hurting my feelings, or if you're being coy because you want me to take you in a very manly fashion."
I have to say I have found men say they like when women chase them but 99% really DO NOT.
So much for equal rights.
I was young, in college, and really liked a few guys, chased them all (being the kind of person who cannot 'hide' how I feel and play games). I was not overly aggressive but I let them know I liked them. Got nowhere.
When it is the right person, though, they will like your attention. My husband is shy and he liked me being bold (he got bolder as he got more confident I cared about him).
My opinion, you just haven't found the right one yet.
Guys are horrible at understanding hints. They probably see your "waiting for him to make the first move" as, "Carp, she's not interested in me after all. I fail as a man," and they wander away embarrassed and rejected.
We are simple creatures, and need pictures drawn in bold colors, with big instructions at the top and an invitation.
I've been married for 10 years and I still can't figure out my wife's hints half the time. "Are you hinting? Can you just tell me what you want please? I don't know if you're being coy to get me away from you for the night without hurting my feelings, or if you're being coy because you want me to take you in a very manly fashion."
Hi scarmig,
Oh yeah. Even when I was a bit older someone came up to me and told me about some woman who wondered why I was not getting the hint. I said "What huh, really?" When I was younger, if you didn't say yes when I worked up the nerve to ask, I had no idea. When a woman was in a friend's apartment she was doing stretching excesses. Later he told me they were intimate and he said that performance was for him. He was a bit older and appeared to want to help me with my naivete . I had no idea. I think I knew a girl who did that sort of thing around me and I didn't even think of it.
When I finally retroactively analyzed what I know now, I realized I was hit on by a number of women. I was born flirt stupid. Dat's me.
I have to say I have found men say they like when women chase them but 99% really DO NOT.
So much for equal rights.
I was young, in college, and really liked a few guys, chased them all (being the kind of person who cannot 'hide' how I feel and play games). I was not overly aggressive but I let them know I liked them. Got nowhere.
When it is the right person, though, they will like your attention. My husband is shy and he liked me being bold (he got bolder as he got more confident I cared about him).
My opinion, you just haven't found the right one yet.
Hi GypsySoul22,
A lot of that is because you have the same problem men do. You have no idea if they like you or not. Men will likely not turn down someone they like. As for me in college, I still had that memory of being fed to her pet crock. I was afraid of the pets you might have. Even if I liked you, I would hesitate to ask because I was not really over what happened to me. When someone asks you and you say yes, its a 100% success rate.
A lot of that is because you have the same problem men do. You have no idea if they like you or not. Men will likely not turn down someone they like. As for me in college, I still had that memory of being fed to her pet crock. I was afraid of the pets you might have. Even if I liked you, I would hesitate to ask because I was not really over what happened to me. When someone asks you and you say yes, its a 100% success rate.
Yeah, I know it is tough for guys. I mean, they are supposed to be the aggressors yet some women are bitchy and can shoot you down with a look. Maybe it's easier for girls now to approach guys.
Yeah, I know it is tough for guys. I mean, they are supposed to be the aggressors yet some women are bitchy and can shoot you down with a look. Maybe it's easier for girls now to approach guys.
Hi GypsySoul22,
I would say the best thing to do for a women is to allow opportunities for the men they like. Sitting in the a herd of your girl friends will likely result in only the men who do it all the time approaching you. The irony is how appealing is he since he is so well practiced? I actually did walk up cold just to overcome the fear and of course again, the irony is they must have thought I did it all the time. It was really just a training op for me.
I figure many women want a man to get up the nerve to ask them but they can make it easy by breaking off from the heard and getting near the poor boy. Does a woman really want him to be completely confident? Think about that equation. Experience + lower bar = confidence.
What you probably want is someone who overcomes their fear of failing with you. It will mean he sees value to it and did not just dump the girl he did this with last week. However you probably want some confidence because his own confidence is also a reliable self assessment of what he has to offer. The best long term men are likely the ones confident but still a little bit shy compared to the guy who works the whole room.
You can increase the volume as you feel necessary.
Why get all uptight? I mean, take it one day at a time, don`t worry about the small petty crap,and just see where it goes. Try not to over analyze it, and just have fun. If he`s not your type, move on.
I have to say I have found men say they like when women chase them but 99% really DO NOT.
You're 100% right! It's one of those things like your conscious mind supposedly liking some stuff and posting about them on forums , while your subconscious mind is doing the very opposite in real life. I don't think people lie deliberately... They just get temporary amnesia when the said situations DO happen.
Men have been, are, and will be hunters, and they do NOT like dead animals thrown at them and that's that, whether we like it or not!
Even though I have said before contacting men a woman is interested in online makes things easier as it weeds out tons of losers, the few times I’ve played with this scenario, it has NEVER worked out well. And I don’t believe it was as much a matter of lack of attraction as it was a matter of wrong circumstances and approach. Had the introduction been done in some other manner, the outcome could've been different.
I've been noticing a reoccurring pattern with the past three guys that have expressed interest in me. Here's how it typically goes:
1. We're friendly acquaintances with each other. We might have a good, deep conversation if the opportunity presents itself - say, in a car. We don't flirt, with the exception of very subtle flirting here and there, but it's hardly noticeable.
2. Flirting or attention increases from him to me. I'm somewhat getting the hint. I flirt back a little, but then again I flirt with other guys as well.
3. Some sort of admittance over text that involves him liking me. I coax definite confessions out of him without giving any firm reply myself.
4. I talk to him about "us" (I use that word lightly) face to face. He won't give me definite answers and instead keeps turning questions on me. I can tell he wants me to give him the big green flag and say, "I like you." I don't give him the big green flag, but do place the ball in his court by telling him to think of something and get back with me and we'll figure something out.
5. Boy makes zero move. I make zero move. Nothing happens. LOL.
Whew, I feel drained just typing that. I apologize in advance for sounding rather whiny and very akin to "Whyyyyy does he not liiiiiiikeeeee meeee????????" I would appreciate the wise advice of others! Note: I said wise, not harassing.
I think it depends on the self confidence of the guy. If he likes you and worth the risk, then he would feel encourage to risk it. Is that the quality you want in a guy? If yes, then you would wait for his first move.
But if you do find something else beyond his inability to make the first move, this should embolden you to risk making the first move.
If you know a guy is interested in you and you are interested in them then yes, you ought to make the move to make it happen. That's actually quite easy. The HARD thing is making a move on a guy who HASN'T expressed interest. But you can do that too. It all depends on how important it is to you because there are PLENTY of other girls who do that and the guy will usually go with whomever makes makes the relationship easier and makes him feel more comfortable.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
, while your subconscious mind is doing the very opposite in real life.
I don't think people lie deliberately... They just get temporary amnesia when the said situations DO happen.
