Have you stayed childless and married even though you want a child and your spouse does not?

[Idon'tdateyou]

Without knowing the OP's specifics I think there is too much assumption about her. Just because she is 41 doesn't mean she is perio menopause. I'm not. Also, yes the risks are higher but it is both people. However I suspect this is a last chance feeling some women get before the chances end. I'm feeling these myself but I am considering adoption if I don't have a child naturally.

[Lilac110]

OP hasn't made a post on C-D since October 2009. I suppose we'll never know how it worked out.

[BraveHeart01]

Originally Posted by wheresmypeace

...
Back to my original question. Has anyone out there been in my shoes?

Yes, sort of.
I wanted children and made that clear, very clear before marrying. It was my primary reason for marrying and I married late 30's. My ex agreed, though in our case, having a child was going to take effort and probably mean adoption (i.e. he decided no more children during his 2nd marriage).
To make a long story short, when the time came to proceed (I was your age), he changed his mind. I/we struggled with that, it should have been a deal breaker. But stupidly I thought life throws you curves and you learn to deal with them. I had this idea that once married, you should stay married; ignoring the deceit. Then, I started justifying my decision - I was getting older, work would make it difficult to balance a family... The marriage was a long-term, "commitment only" marriage for many of the later years.
Do I regret my decision, absolutely!!! I can't dwell on that because the past is the past.
Now, I was sure I wanted children. I always did. I thought I would have a dozen and many would be adopted... always had kids around when I was younger. And, I did not have an emotionally intimate, connected partner. Foolish.
You've written that you are not sure you want children, entered your marriage not wanting children (setting that expectation with your husband), love your husband and have a healthy marriage.
What is changing your mind (internal clock ticking?), that would drive you to end your happy marriage?
What does being a mom mean to you (holding a child's head while they are vomiting, going thru early teens when you think someone else invaded your child's body, running around to band events, attending a H.S. graduation when you are 60yo, and possibly paying for college from retirement income,...)?
It is not unheard of. I have an ex-step-daughter that did that, but she was about 10 years your junior.