My ultra nice friend bores girls and they leave him (how to, woman)

[Rakin]

A shot in the dark here... If he's recently divorced he may lack confidence in bed with another lady or could even have a problem in the keeping it hard department.

You might share some little blue guy pills with him in a diplomatic way. He may have a mental hang up about performance issues.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by Serafinez

Contrary to popular belief, women want sex too. If I were single, I couldn't wait for a guy to have sex with me for more than two months. I just couldn't. What am I supposed to do in the meantime?

On top of that, let's go back to 'most women think all men want sex bad'. Keeping that in mind, it's obvious that if a guy didn't jump me for a while (or hint to, at least, but that would lead into something) I would think he's not attracted to me. And then, what would be the point of continuing? I mean, ok, one month cause he's a gentleman, two months cause he's shy. After that, you can't help but wonder 'hey, is there something wrong with me?'. That just about ruins the relationship.

Dunno, maybe he could explain to his lady friends how he's just come out of a 15 year marriage and how all this dating thing is new to him....and maybe then the ladies would show some initiative and get him into bed? Just an idea.

Hi Serafinez,


Attractive women can always get into bed. They should just move on. I wanted to take a break after a 3 year girl friend. I guess we are LTR guys.

Maybe some people would marry or get into a partnership after 2 months. I would rather do that then exchange bodily fluids with someone I didn't know. That is just how it is with me. It may be that way with him. I guess I am the same way about what I eat.

While it was funny on occasion to see some very confused people and how I noticed a few women felt a lack of their usual influence, it really was just about a few minutes of pleasure for a lot of "what if?". Though I was also more appreciated by others including a co-worker who was an attractive married woman because I did not hit on her. A few other men drove her nuts.

One girl wanted to "teach me" how good it was and it was obvious to me it was to feed her ego. Normally I could avoid it because I never really "dated" or made it a topic. Even with other women who felt the same way who needs relationship problems without the sex? So I would not get into a relationship unless it was for an LTR and if it had to be in 2 months or less then we would go our separate ways no hard feelings.

[yellowsnow]

Give him some time. He's had a lot of changes in his life and has a lot of thinking and re-evaluating to do. Lots of people want to test the water before they dive in the pool.

[Serafinez]

Originally Posted by Robhu

Maybe he respects a woman as a person instead of an object to be conquered.
Some day he will find one who appreciates that.
Those kind of women are worth waiting for.

Why is it that for a man to appreciate a woman it means that he should refrain from having sex with her? Do most women really not like sex?

Yes, it's wonderful that he doesn't treat women as objects. He has all my respect for that. But when two people get along, start dating, are highly comfortable with eachother, in 2-3 months time usually something happens. If a man were to tell me he didn't want to rush me into it because he wants me to understand that he respects me, then fine, you bet I will appreciate him (my husband did that). If a guy keeps dating me and dating me and nothing sexual ever happens without him saying that he's still recovering over a long marriage, or that he doesn't want to rush me, I can't help but wonder if he's interested in me or just having a friend.

It's not about exchanging fluids. It's getting to know someone for a couple of weeks, after which you wanna continue getting to know the person in other activities as well . You also grow fond of that person and want to show it.

@gwynedd1. All my respect to LTR guys. You are a rare yet wonderful 'breed'.

I would rather do that then exchange bodily fluids with someone I didn't know.

I think I didn't explain it well :I meant...you are single, you start dating someone, you've been dating for 2 months. You like the person or else you'd have called it quits. Why not have sex? Having sex, after all, is included in getting to know the person.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by Serafinez

Yes, it's wonderful that he doesn't treat women as objects. He has all my respect for that. But when two people get along, start dating, are highly comfortable with eachother, in 2-3 months time usually something happens. If a man were to tell me he didn't want to rush me into it because he wants me to understand that he respects me, then fine, you bet I will appreciate him (my husband did that). If a guy keeps dating me and dating me and nothing sexual ever happens without him saying that he's still recovering over a long marriage, or that he doesn't want to rush me, I can't help but wonder if he's interested in me or just having a friend.

Hi Serafinez,

I also don't believe in the long endless dating either. You can usually find out most of what you need to know in a few months if you keep your head. After about 6 months few people of any kind surprise me. I did not "date" much for that reason. It would not just be about stringing someone along, but I know I would get sexual since I know myself well enough to know I could not be around a woman who turned me on for that long.

[LEVOW]

Originally Posted by Serafinez

Contrary to popular belief, women want sex too. If I were single, I couldn't wait for a guy to have sex with me for more than two months. I just couldn't. What am I supposed to do in the meantime?

On top of that, let's go back to 'most women think all men want sex bad'. Keeping that in mind, it's obvious that if a guy didn't jump me for a while (or hint to, at least, but that would lead into something) I would think he's not attracted to me. And then, what would be the point of continuing? I mean, ok, one month cause he's a gentleman, two months cause he's shy. After that, you can't help but wonder 'hey, is there something wrong with me?'. That just about ruins the relationship.

Dunno, maybe he could explain to his lady friends how he's just come out of a 15 year marriage and how all this dating thing is new to him....and maybe then the ladies would show some initiative and get him into bed? Just an idea.

i totally agree with this, they are both adults

[Mathguy]

Originally Posted by LEVOW

I have a friend, co worker of mine, handsome dude, really cleancut, hardworker, recently divorced, but this dude has a problem! Hes dated 2 pretty girls since the divorce, he dated the first one 3 months and never slept w/her, NEVER!!! The girl eventually got bored w him and dumped him, told her friend that he was too "green" that he never even tried to sleep w her, and she wnated to w him This girl his with now is really pretty [my kind of girl] i gave him alot of credit for hooking up w her, but yesterday she was telling me that hes too nice, that shes too much of a witch for him, and to give him some "tips" cuz hes not aggrssive w her at all, im scared that shes going to get bored of him too and dump him! Thts my dog, so i really dont want him to get dumped, any thoughts on this? I guess girls dont really like nice passive guys

Does he have any kind of sex drive?
How long did he wait after the divorce? Was he always kinda this way?

Sounds like he needs a naughty gf to take control of the situation and remind him of one of life's benefits.

[Mercury Cougar]

Originally Posted by LEVOW

I have a friend, co worker of mine, handsome dude, really cleancut, hardworker, recently divorced, but this dude has a problem! Hes dated 2 pretty girls since the divorce, he dated the first one 3 months and never slept w/her, NEVER!!! The girl eventually got bored w him and dumped him, told her friend that he was too "green" that he never even tried to sleep w her, and she wnated to w him This girl his with now is really pretty [my kind of girl] i gave him alot of credit for hooking up w her, but yesterday she was telling me that hes too nice, that shes too much of a witch for him, and to give him some "tips" cuz hes not aggrssive w her at all, im scared that shes going to get bored of him too and dump him! Thts my dog, so i really dont want him to get dumped, any thoughts on this? I guess girls dont really like nice passive guys

Passive guys = boring. If I want a doormat, I'll go to Walmart and buy one. Oh, and if the first girl wanted to sleep with him, she should have taken matters into her own hands. That's her fault too.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by LEVOW

I have a friend, co worker of mine, handsome dude, really cleancut, hardworker, recently divorced, but this dude has a problem! Hes dated 2 pretty girls since the divorce, he dated the first one 3 months and never slept w/her, NEVER!!! The girl eventually got bored w him and dumped him, told her friend that he was too "green" that he never even tried to sleep w her, and she wnated to w him This girl his with now is really pretty [my kind of girl] i gave him alot of credit for hooking up w her, but yesterday she was telling me that hes too nice, that shes too much of a witch for him, and to give him some "tips" cuz hes not aggrssive w her at all, im scared that shes going to get bored of him too and dump him! Thts my dog, so i really dont want him to get dumped, any thoughts on this? I guess girls dont really like nice passive guys

Hi LEVOW,

How is this guy with other people? Is he the nice passive guy to them as well?

[LEVOW]

yes he is, hes kinda feminine, his dad to this day treats him like a baby, he sheltered him alot, the other girl that was w him said that maybe and i quote " hes scared to do it because he has diabetes it might be affecting the blood stream down there" lol