Bad Dates/Relationships..Stalkers/Abusers (wife, movies, boyfriends, woman)

[hatgirl007]

I wonder how many people have come across physically abusive people or stalkers dates/relationships. Were there signs that you ignored. How did things come to an end?

I remember this guy I went out with for a few dates. He was not my usual type. I cut him off soon because he kept talking about how he would pay for my nails, hair, a few bills etc by our second date. (Red flag, why you trying to do so much so soon and if you really spoil girls like this then why are you single?) I wouldn't sleep with him. I wouldn't let him know where I worked or lived. He kept asking me why we couldn't be together.
I made the mistake of letting him drive me in his car to this mexican food restaurant after watching the superbowl (few years ago). (Looking back now I guess superbowl was a bad meeting time as it is the day when most domestic violence happens) He tried to make some moves but as I stated before NO GO. On the way back to my car he demanded I look at him and grabbed my face. (All I was thinking is why didn't I bring my switch blade. Sorry guys but I have to be prepared). I kept quiet on the ride to my car and I was mad at myself because I never leave my vehicle and give power to a guy like that. I kept silent and he brought me back to my vehicle. When I proceeded immediately to get out of the vehicle, he asked me "who told you to get out of the car?" I was like, this fool is Ike Turner! I left and never spoke to him again.

What I noticed before this happened was possesive traits but didn't think he was that serious. Don't call me and act like I have to check in with you or have to reveal my activities - you are not my man. He was mad when I mentioned home repairs I had done because he said: "You act so independent when I could do things for you." I declined because I knew his gifts would come with a price. I could see clearly that the moment I wasn't at home when I said I might be, I could visualize him in my driveway.

Ladies and Gentleman. Feel free to share your experiences.

[valeeighty2]

Oh I have a couple, but the one that sticks out the most is this dude who kept flirting with me at work. I was the manager at a video store and he was a customer.

He would come by every other day or so, he brought me some snacks once, we hang out and he helped me put the movies away, you know harmless stuff... He never made a move and all of a sudden dissappeared, one day, about 3 months later, he showed up at the store and was acting erratic, like he was high on something... didn't really paid any attention to him and we chatted a bit before he left, he kept doing this all week and finally he asked me out, I said I would love to hang out as friends, but nothing else, I had a boyfriend by that point... HE WENT NUTS!!! he started screaming and yelling, asking why I did not tell him I had a boyfriend, yelling I was a ***** when I tried to calm him down he swang a punch at me, I deflected it and run to the phone to call 911... he left right away...

After that I would see his car parked outside of the store, he wasn't in it, but I could feel this creppy chill up my spine. Finally another customer friend of mine, who was a state troopper, found out from one of my employees what was going on and he had a "talk" with the guy, never saw him again.

I came to find out later that the reason he dissapeared that one time is because he was in jail for harrasment and assault of his ex...

I really didn't notice anything, I was young and stupid I guess, I had never experienced something like this, and so I guess I was blind to the signs...

Looking back his obsession for staying with me until the store closed, or calling the store every 15 mins to see if I was there yet, should have raised some red flags...

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

Originally Posted by valeeighty2

Oh I have a couple, but the one that sticks out the most is this dude who kept flirting with me at work. I was the manager at a video store and he was a customer.

You should have let him rent the adult videos for free

[Mathguy]

My sister is a health professional and had an older (60ish) couple both as patients. He would leave notes on her car etc, seriously creepy guy.

He eventually left her alone, not sure what she did to finally handle it but it's a small town area and we have tons of family and friends around there so I'm guessing someone eventually got the point across to him...maybe our cousin who is ex-army combat infantry with a bunch of police buddies chatted with him lol.

[JustJulia]

My ex-brother-in-law is a winning combination of crazy and stupid. Compared to many stories out there, he's not that bad; my sister-in-law was not physically hurt.

My husband's sister has a thing for fixer-uppers ... yes, bad boys. I think it's a reaction to her father's general snobbishness. She keeps looking for that diamond in the rough to prove him wrong. The two boyfriends she's had in the last 10 years whom her dad liked treated her badly, so she doesn't want to go "back there." In a nutshell, she has bad taste in men. She doesn't regard herself very highly, so she doesn't aim very high.

I could talk for hours about what a loser her ex-husband is, but you asked about stalking and things like that.

They went to Ohio for a family reunion shortly after their son was born. I think he was a month old or something like that. R, her husband at the time, yelled at and shoved his father. K, my sister-in-law, was frightened and humiliated and decided to leave early. He screamed and threw his ring at her, and that did it for her. She got someone to take her to the airport and flew home early. He had to drive the car home to Colorado (where we all lived at the time), so she beat him home by a day or so. She told him that she was going to her parents' house in California to think, but she really came to our house. She hid her car several blocks away in our neighborhood.

He showed up on my doorstep, demanding to see his wife. I don't know how he knew she was there--maybe he just took a chance. I opened the big door, not knowing it was he, and he opened the screen door and started to walk in. That does NOT fly in Mama Bear's house. I was scared of him at the time, because K had told us about his temper, but my adrenaline was pumping full force. He was angry but I blocked his way and told him he could not come in. If he had come one step closer, I would have attacked him. He was already halfway in the house, and my children were inside, and well as K and her son. R was yelling for her to come out. I can stay very calm--in fact, the more angry I am, the calmer I get--and I told him to get out and never come back. He did back down and leave. My heart is racing just thinking about it. K told me about fights she's seen him in, and how violent he can be, but there was no way he was getting in my house.

Over the next couple of years, after she moved back to California (we did too), he would call her and leave threatening messages on her cell phone or at work, even when she'd change numbers. He'd always find her. She was scared he'd physically show up, but he never did. He called her parents a few times and was stupid enough to leave messages there too. I told you he was dumb. It just made it easier for her to get a restraining order and later divorce and full custody.

She still hears from him a couple of times a year. He calls and hangs up or says something like, "I know where you are." Enough to keep her scared of him. The only time he mentions their son is to tell her his dad gave him money for a lawyer (a lie) and he's going to take him away and tell him "the truth" about how awful she is.

[valeeighty2]

Originally Posted by antlered chamataka

you should have let him rent the adult videos for free :d

lol!!!

[valeeighty2]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

My ex-brother-in-law is a winning combination of crazy and stupid. Compared to many stories out there, he's not that bad; my sister-in-law was not physically hurt.

My husband's sister has a thing for fixer-uppers ... yes, bad boys. I think it's a reaction to her father's general snobbishness. She keeps looking for that diamond in the rough to prove him wrong. The two boyfriends she's had in the last 10 years whom her dad liked treated her badly, so she doesn't want to go "back there." In a nutshell, she has bad taste in men. She doesn't regard herself very highly, so she doesn't aim very high.

I could talk for hours about what a loser her ex-husband is, but you asked about stalking and things like that.

They went to Ohio for a family reunion shortly after their son was born. I think he was a month old or something like that. R, her husband at the time, yelled at and shoved his father. K, my sister-in-law, was frightened and humiliated and decided to leave early. He screamed and threw his ring at her, and that did it for her. She got someone to take her to the airport and flew home early. He had to drive the car home to Colorado (where we all lived at the time), so she beat him home by a day or so. She told him that she was going to her parents' house in California to think, but she really came to our house. She hid her car several blocks away in our neighborhood.

He showed up on my doorstep, demanding to see his wife. I don't know how he knew she was there--maybe he just took a chance. I opened the big door, not knowing it was he, and he opened the screen door and started to walk in. That does NOT fly in Mama Bear's house. I was scared of him at the time, because K had told us about his temper, but my adrenaline was pumping full force. He was angry but I blocked his way and told him he could not come in. If he had come one step closer, I would have attacked him. He was already halfway in the house, and my children were inside, and well as K and her son. R was yelling for her to come out. I can stay very calm--in fact, the more angry I am, the calmer I get--and I told him to get out and never come back. He did back down and leave. My heart is racing just thinking about it. K told me about fights she's seen him in, and how violent he can be, but there was no way he was getting in my house.

Over the next couple of years, after she moved back to California (we did too), he would call her and leave threatening messages on her cell phone or at work, even when she'd change numbers. He'd always find her. She was scared he'd physically show up, but he never did. He called her parents a few times and was stupid enough to leave messages there too. I told you he was dumb. It just made it easier for her to get a restraining order and later divorce and full custody.

She still hears from him a couple of times a year. He calls and hangs up or says something like, "I know where you are." Enough to keep her scared of him. The only time he mentions their son is to tell her his dad gave him money for a lawyer (a lie) and he's going to take him away and tell him "the truth" about how awful she is.

I've worked with a girl who went through something similar, she had 2 girls with this loser... after some time of her not hearing from him, she forgot to renew the restraining order, little did she know that is all it took for him to show up on her doorstep the very next day the order ran out... by that point she was going out with this awesome guy, who had propposed and was ready to recognise the girls as his. He was home that time, the girls and mom were not. They got into a fist fight, and after awesome guy broke loser's nose and a couple of fingers he never showed back up... he did leave a couple of threatening messages but that just helped them get a new restraining order

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by hatgirl007

I wonder how many people have come across physically abusive people or stalkers dates/relationships. Were there signs that you ignored. How did things come to an end?

I remember this guy I went out with for a few dates. He was not my usual type. I cut him off soon because he kept talking about how he would pay for my nails, hair, a few bills etc by our second date. (Red flag, why you trying to do so much so soon and if you really spoil girls like this then why are you single?) I wouldn't sleep with him. I wouldn't let him know where I worked or lived. He kept asking me why we couldn't be together.
I made the mistake of letting him drive me in his car to this mexican food restaurant after watching the superbowl (few years ago). (Looking back now I guess superbowl was a bad meeting time as it is the day when most domestic violence happens) He tried to make some moves but as I stated before NO GO. On the way back to my car he demanded I look at him and grabbed my face. (All I was thinking is why didn't I bring my switch blade. Sorry guys but I have to be prepared). I kept quiet on the ride to my car and I was mad at myself because I never leave my vehicle and give power to a guy like that. I kept silent and he brought me back to my vehicle. When I proceeded immediately to get out of the vehicle, he asked me "who told you to get out of the car?" I was like, this fool is Ike Turner! I left and never spoke to him again.

What I noticed before this happened was possesive traits but didn't think he was that serious. Don't call me and act like I have to check in with you or have to reveal my activities - you are not my man. He was mad when I mentioned home repairs I had done because he said: "You act so independent when I could do things for you." I declined because I knew his gifts would come with a price. I could see clearly that the moment I wasn't at home when I said I might be, I could visualize him in my driveway.

Ladies and Gentleman. Feel free to share your experiences.

Hi hatgirl007 ,

Other than mentioning the Superbowl violence stat is a myth, the only other thing I would tell you is you might want a spurless 5 cylinder 38 to go along with your switch blade. What a lunatic.

[cpg35223]

Heck, they're even on CD. There's one woman on here is so obsessed with me that she follows me from forum to forum, reporting me to the mods for even the most innocuous threads. God only knows what kind of psycho she is in real life.

[mrstewart]

When I was in college I had a stalker I worked with...some strange things happened over a series of months and then one night I was driving home after a shift he did not share with me and lo and behold there he is in the car behind me(not his normal route and no where near his home)...

Then a few weeks later he showed up at my apartment unannounced at a pretty crazy hour...a neighbor let him into the secure building not knowing he was up to no good...my boyfriend was there and beat the tar out of him...the stalker was fired the next day and I graduated a few weeks later and left the area...never heard from him again but it was pretty scary!