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Im sorry anyone who thinks marriage or any relationship is easy is an idiot. Relationships take work, Both parties need to work hard at it or IT WILL FAIL. If your relationship is easy, then your doing something wrong and it will eventually fail. Healthy relationships have turbulence, If your is all smooth sailing, you either worked at it for some time and smoothed it out over the years or you havent hit the turbulace yet.
Im sorry anyone who thinks marriage or any relationship is easy is an idiot. Relationships take work, Both parties need to work hard at it or IT WILL FAIL. If your relationship is easy, then your doing something wrong and it will eventually fail. Healthy relationships have turbulence, If your is all smooth sailing, you either worked at it for some time and smoothed it out over the years or you havent hit the turbulace yet.
Exactly. It is all in how the conflicts are resolved. Granted some people mix like oil and water and never should be together. But relationships take a lot work.
You have to know when to leave the other person alone. And when not to.
You have to be realistic about yourself and the other person.
Not everything is perfect. In fact, very few things are.
You married an individual for what he or she was (at least that's the theory), let him or her remain that person. I mean by that things like hobbies-he (she) had them when you married, don't try to make him (her) give them up once you're married because you don't like the activity and never did but tolerated it when dating.
Don't dwell on the past. In anything including past relationships.
Children complete a marriage, don't let them become a competition.
Realize those annoying little habits the other had (like letting the mail pile up) before marriage aren't going to disappear with the "I do's".
Have a sense of humor, gentle teasing from both parties is fun.
Don't pick fights because you're bored. That's immature.
Don't nag, especially about things like a bit of weight gain. Metabolisms change over the years. The six pack I had when in flight school 30 years ago is now a 2 liter even though the weight is the same.
Did I say nothing is perfect?
Well, thinking marriage is a breeze after nine months is kind of like running the first 100 yards in a marathon and saying, "Wow, that wasn't bad at all."
Not trying to be snippy or anything, but you really haven't been tested with anything yet. If you're living in an apartment with no kids and two incomes, your biggest challenge so far has been to determine which family you'll spend which holiday with. Not exactly the day-in, day-out treadmill that one faces when there are bills to be paid and children to be raised.
You have to know when to leave the other person alone. And when not to.
You have to be realistic about yourself and the other person.
Not everything is perfect. In fact, very few things are.
You married an individual for what he or she was (at least that's the theory), let him or her remain that person. I mean by that things like hobbies-he (she) had them when you married, don't try to make him (her) give them up once you're married because you don't like the activity and never did but tolerated it when dating.
Don't dwell on the past. In anything including past relationships.
Children complete a marriage, don't let them become a competition.
Realize those annoying little habits the other had (like letting the mail pile up) before marriage aren't going to disappear with the "I do's".
Have a sense of humor, gentle teasing from both parties is fun.
Don't pick fights because you're bored. That's immature.
Don't nag, especially about things like a bit of weight gain. Metabolisms change over the years. The six pack I had when in flight school 30 years ago is now a 2 liter even though the weight is the same.
Did I say nothing is perfect?
Excellent post! That is the honest truth right there.
I personaly dont think it is. I have a wonderful husband and although we have been married for about 9 months now I feel that are marriage is going to last long because of the way we both look at marriage and other important issues dealing with marriage.
Even though I think marriage is not hard my friend Elise who has been married for a little over a year and a half, mabey two years tells me it is extremly hard and that she no longer has love for her husband. She has a child on the other hand and I believe their marriage was more because she was pregnant.
But I was just wondering how many other people felt like her. How many people have or are married and think it is Hard? ...and Why?
I think it's important to share your expectations with your spouse. If you're going to be angry and expect your spouse to know what is wrong and fix it, chances are your marriage will be hard.
Excellent post! That is the honest truth right there.
Simply put , for a marriage to last it does take a lot of "WORK" not necessarily hard but still work . To make that work a little easier I used the following formula ( thought process) to make it in life there can be no "I" or Me" only "WE" . 46 years and still going strong , working out each problem in life as they occur "TOGETHER" .
It always amazes us when we hear people say that "marriage is hard work". We don't feel that way at all. A good marriage, with the right person, just flows.
That's good to know. I've always thought marriage shouldn't be a construction site! I work all day and I don't feel like "working" a second shift at home. That's not say I don't wanna care for another person and do nice things for him, but if it feels like a constant struggle, it's too much.
That's good to know. I've always thought marriage shouldn't be a construction site! I work all day and I don't feel like "working" a second shift at home. That's not say I don't wanna care for another person and do nice things for him, but if it feels like a constant struggle, it's too much.
Yep. Thats why I still say that you need to "train" him/her in the beginning. That way, they don`t set their ways, as to...this is the way its gonna be.
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That is the honest truth right there.
