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We spent 5 hours working on the assignment last night, so that was pretty interesting in itself. We started off in the school library for an hour and a half. I suggested we get a group study room for privacy, which she didn't know existed. So it was just us saying whatever we wanted without having to be quiet.
We were hungry so we decided to grab some pizza; it was her suggestion that we go get food. We were there for an hour, and I insisted that I pay for the food (and I did). I left something in the library so we went back to get it and I suggested we go to Dunkin Donuts to finish up our work. We were there for the next 2.5 hours and I made sure I paid for her hot chocolate.
She's definitely a nice and smart girl. I'd say almost half the time we were just chatting and there was plenty of laughing going on. We definitely get along well and I know that we're both very comfortable around each other. So much so that things might have slipped into the "friend zone" a bit; we started talking about our ex's! However, the result of the ex's conversations was that it was time to move forward.
She dropped me off at my car, and I playfully said "I had a good time" in a manner that would have been more fitting for the end of a date, especially since we were "working." She laughed and said it was fun too.
Oh yeah, I also mentioned that I did a small bit of researching for a part of her presentation that she was stuck on. She had a surprised look on her face since she never asked me to help her. I think she was appreciative, and her problem ended up being solved! Bonus points anyone?
I slyly snuck into our conversations that I play guitar and she said that's awesome and that I should give her some lessons. I think I'll take her up on that.
I'll be seeing her in class tonight. We're also going to be meeting up again on Thursday for a few hours, and we'll see what happens. Overall, it was fun. I'm not sure I really hinted that I like her, and I couldn't really read her much either. There was plenty of eye contact and lots of laughing, so I can't ask for much more than that.
Nice job dude, it wasn't the approach I would've taken, but it sounds like you played it well anyways. From now on just keep trying to spend time with her outside of school. Try to set up things like going out to have dinner or something fun, the guitar thing sounds like a good idea. You got some signals that she may be interested, so now you need to start moving away from college classmate friend to potential boyfriend environment.
DO NOT come out and tell her how you feel. Just keep asking her out and spending time, and when you're comfortable, and when you think she is comfortable, kiss her. That is how you will find out if you have a chance or not. It's a ballsy move, but guess what, that's why you're the man, you can handle making a move like that.
Just do not spill your guts or outright tell her you like her. Not until she says something first. The kiss will be loud enough for her to know you're interested, and she'll be forced to show her cards as well when you go in for it.
I think it's safe to hang out beyond school stuff but, you did just get out of a LONG relationship a couple of months ago. You do need some down time between relationships and I don't recommend jumping right back into something.
Just my own personal beliefs.
I think it's safe to hang out beyond school stuff but, you did just get out of a LONG relationship a couple of months ago. You do need some down time between relationships and I don't recommend jumping right back into something.
Just my own personal beliefs.
Sorry but I disagree. If he is truly over the last relationship, there's no law that says he needs downtime between relationships. A lot of times the best way to get over someone is to meet someone else. The only thing I would oppose would be leading on another girl when he's not over his ex or still has contact with his ex. As long as the ex is completely out of the picture, he can do whatever he wants and he should in fact date other women as soon as he wants to.
Danny, you did a great job! Yes, you get points for this one. Keep spending time with her, talking to her, listening to her, teaching her guitar (that was masterful), and helping her. Before long it'll become obvious where this relationship is heading and she may even make the first move. I'm crossing my fingers for you.
Concerning the down-time before moving on: I'll say that I'm ready to move on, and I think I simply NEED to move on with things. If it somehow ends up being a mistake, I can deal with the consequences and I'll learn from it. My new motto is that there's no better time than now to go for what you want.
Here's another update for those who care to read.
We met up yesterday (Thursday) to work on the project again. We met a few hours before class, then we had class together. She was out late the night before and didn't get much sleep before she had work in the morning. So, she was pretty damn tired. However, throughout the whole day I had been thinking about asking her to get dinner after class. Since I knew she was tired, I wasn't sure if I should ask her or not. But after class, I simply felt compelled to do so and the question just came out of my mouth. She first declined because she didn't have money, which she did mention earlier in the day. I then said that it would be my treat, and then we started walking to her car while deciding where to eat.
Dinner was okay. We sat at the bar at an Applebees and just had a bunch of appetizers. In order to know her better and show some interest, I kept asking her questions about all sorts of things. She kept talking, so it was fine with me. But I didn't get a very positive vibe in general; I'd say it was more neutral than anything. Her body language at the restaurant didn't exactly inspire confidence. She didn't seem as comfortable there as she had been all the times we worked on our project. I noticed less eye-to-eye contact than during previous times. Maybe it was because she's not interested in me that way. Maybe she was nervous because she didn't expect me to just ask her out to dinner. Or maybe she was just that tired. Who knows.
Anyway, I'm surely over-analyzing things now. But last night's experience has brought my mind back down to earth a bit. I'm not sure what to expect from here on. We still have more work to do together, and although things certainly didn't feel awkward at the end of the night, I feel that she now knows that I do have some feelings for her. Maybe I should have let her go home and rest instead of asking her to stay out, but I honestly couldn't stop myself.
So what do I do now? I'm not giving up, but I don't want to create any awkwardness. I guess we'll see how she acts around me the next time I see her and go on from there.
Tips? Thoughts? And yes, I think that I am thinking too deep into things.
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