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Old 10-30-2009, 12:16 PM
 
5 posts, read 10,037 times
Reputation: 13

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He is 74. She's 30.

First of all, let's say he is a thin, attractive, elderly man. It may seem gross to some people, but she says she is actually attracted to him. It may be weird to some, but she said something about him is fascinating to her.

Do you think the female would be arm candy or do you think he'd actually want to get to know her? My friend is very attractive, intelligent, has a career, and owns her own home. I do know she generally dates her age or a little younger, and it's rare that she'd even be interested in a 40 year old man, so this is odd to me.

She has been having dinners with this 74 year old married man. (He hasn't had a sexual relationship with his wife in years, and he has claimed that his wife would be ok with the situation as long as it wasn't flaunted around her. His wife lives in England and he lives in the states, so does my friend.)

Anyway, he doesn't call my friend everyday due a hectic work schedule. He runs some sort of international business. At times he does call to chat, but not on a daily basis. She sometimes feels neglected and wonders if he is honestly interested in getting to know her mind.

He only calls to schedule these dinners with her. She hasn't had sex with him, but he has asked her if she'd be interested in that at some point. He has also expressed interest in taking her on trips to Spain and whatnot. He told her he's looking for someone to share the beauty in life with. He'd like it include sex sometimes, and said it could also lead to love. He told her that he is not in love with his wife and would like to fall in love with someone. He has left the nature of their relationship in her hands. She was kind of pushing the friend thing, but he said he can only do that for so long before feelings develop on his side.

Is a 40+ year age difference workable? Do you think he cares about what actually comes out of her mouth, or only how she looks while she is saying it?
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Old 10-30-2009, 12:41 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
1,590 posts, read 1,402,629 times
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Hate to say it but the infidelity is your friend's biggest problem. I think that is the ultimate red flag that he's a dishonest user. If I were her I'd go for a friendship but maybe your friend doesan't care if he's a duplicitous snake. Better break out the condoms if she plans on going forward.
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Old 10-30-2009, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,410 posts, read 14,718,153 times
Reputation: 21852
Wow....that is a big age gap there, but why is he not divorced from his wife?
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
2,919 posts, read 7,324,941 times
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My opinion - He's in it for the sex and the companionship. If that's all she wants other than a few trips and dinners, fine.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:04 PM
 
18,291 posts, read 17,669,066 times
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She's looking for a sugar daddy. He's looking for his lost youth. No mystery there.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
13,217 posts, read 10,877,922 times
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Quote:
She sometimes feels neglected and wonders if he is honestly interested in getting to know her mind.
I would say NO. But if she wants to be a kept woman, then go for it.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:12 PM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,064,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by perkycarrot View Post
Is a 40+ year age difference workable? Do you think he cares about what actually comes out of her mouth, or only how she looks while she is saying it?
Infidelity aside (which I think is wrong unless all parties know and agree with it)...

...who cares what the motivation is for them to spend time together? As long as they enjoy each other's company (and everyone has full mental faculties), everyone else should probably just butt out.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:32 PM
 
2,015 posts, read 1,873,422 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgoldie View Post
My opinion - He's in it for the sex ..
At 74?? I doubt it..
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Banana Republic, LA
374 posts, read 632,619 times
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He must have a lot of money. I've never really thought too much about age differences, and was in love with someone 20 years my senior, but I think once you get past maybe a 25 or 30 year difference there's just no way it's true love.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
2,919 posts, read 7,324,941 times
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Miss Lucky- Contrary to what may be popular opinion at times there is unaided sex for men in their 70's and 80's. My best lover happens to be in his mid 70's (I'm an oldie myself). Experience counts.
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