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The loner I'm thinking of is someone who doesn't need company but enjoys it if its there and has interests that don't jive with everyone else's so they wind up doing many things alone and actually like it that way.
Wow, you just described me better than I could have myself!
I am a loner type. I don't have alot of close friends but it's my choice. It's not like I don't get along with people. I think most people are idiots. I guess my thinking is alittle deeper than most.
I would like to enjoy things that some of the mainstream wouldn't. Like for instance, all the guys are going out on the town to do...oh whatever. We are walking down the street together and all of them are talking about really stupid stuff. Childish BS. I am admiring the designs on the ancient buildings as we walk down the street. I am looking at the stars in the sky that intrigue me. When they look back at me and I am in lala land they tend to shy away from inviting me to the "guys" night out. Which is fine with me.
I think it's okay to be very independent and a bit of a loner. It helps to be educated, take time to empathize with and understand others, and to be able to function in a social setting even if it's not something you have the tendency to become addicted to - this last part is indication that one is strongly independent vs socially inept . Functioning is being able to flow with others, not controlling everything you do or the situation.
If one is more socially inept and desperately thriving off the socialization they're getting, they may be a bit more concious of themselves than needbe and become paranoid, seeing things that aren't there, etc. setting themselves up for problems, resulting in social failure, resulting in perhaps deeper problems.
In relationships, the latter type (socially inept) may have the desire to be social and, if not able to do it well, may push all their capacity for socialization upon their boyfriend/girlfriend, again, resulting in failure. They may also hinder their boyfriend's/girlfriend's social life or even become controlling of it.
I guess it all boils down to being happily independent vs feeling forcefully independent. A healthy loner being the former, unhealthy being the latter.
That said, I think the red flag that keeps getting mentioned by women is the possibility of the behavior of the socially inept loner and all the problems that might come with him. Ever heard of the idea that "it takes more energy to end something than start it"? Women don't want to began a relationship with an unhealthy dude because I think it can be hard for them anyway to break things off with dudes, especially the unhealthy loner.
That's my take. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. For the record, I'm a guy.
What do women think of men that like to be on there own and do their own thing?
Would you even date or start a relationship with someone who doesn't have any close friends?
Would you date a "new guy" in town, that is a loner but also wants to meet some people?
How much importance do women put on a man's social surroundings?
If you are new to the area, it's only natural to be alone.
We do look at a guy's friends just as a process to get to know what type of people the guy hangs out with. I think we all do that whether you are a male or a female.
I would personally worry if a guy has no friends whatsoever, but if he has few friends and they are just not close by, then that's understandable.
What I would personally worry is if a guy has friends but does not introduce me to any of them, then I would wonder if he is embarrassed to be seen with me. So that raises another question.
In your case, if you don't have friends because you are new, then women shouldn't care too much about it. Just be yourself. If you just like doing things alone most of the time, then maybe you will find someone who is pretty much the same way. I'm that way, and I have very few friends, and they are not close, but I'm ok with it.
I am a loner type. I don't have alot of close friends but it's my choice. It's not like I don't get along with people. I think most people are idiots. I guess my thinking is alittle deeper than most.
I would like to enjoy things that some of the mainstream wouldn't. Like for instance, all the guys are going out on the town to do...oh whatever. We are walking down the street together and all of them are talking about really stupid stuff. Childish BS. I am admiring the designs on the ancient buildings as we walk down the street. I am looking at the stars in the sky that intrigue me. When they look back at me and I am in lala land they tend to shy away from inviting me to the "guys" night out. Which is fine with me.
Am I wrong?
Sounds pretty pretentious. There are times for deep thoughts and times for shallow. When I'm with certain girl friends, we can go on and on about trivial things like clothes and shoes and beauty routines. That doesn't mean it's all we ever think about, it's just a nice way to relate to each other. I have other friends with whom I always seem to have existential conversations.
I've found that people who are completely incapable of relating to anyone from another social group are uptight jerks with falsely inflated egos.
and i'm supposed to be in control of my own destiny is that what your saying? **** that
Do you think someone else is in control of your destiny???
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