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This isn't a case of insecurity on the part of this guy. This guy has a really healthy ego. Ever since I've known him he's told me about all the women who want him. I do, so maybe it's true. I've told him he tells me too much and he tells me it's when he stops telling me I have to worry. He also tells me I'm insecure.
He was in the hospital over the weekend and he received a ton of calls from coworkers - half women, half men. However, he told me he was feeling overwhelmed and that some woman he worked with called him and he was really surprised. In fact, he said he was scared and overwhelmed. He told me that maybe she was planting a seed or finally coming forward with her feelings. I haven't heard that tone in his voice since he told me he was scared to get involved with me. Needless to say, I am not happy. What do I do? Confront him on this and tell him to pursue her and get it out of his system or marry her, or do I say nothing and hope for the best? He talks about a future for us but he has a very long history of girlfriends. What would you do? I don't want to come off as jealous and insecure, but I am.
This isn't a case of insecurity on the part of this guy. This guy has a really healthy ego. Ever since I've known him he's told me about all the women who want him. I do, so maybe it's true. I've told him he tells me too much and he tells me it's when he stops telling me I have to worry. He also tells me I'm insecure.
He was in the hospital over the weekend and he received a ton of calls from coworkers - half women, half men. However, he told me he was feeling overwhelmed and that some woman he worked with called him and he was really surprised. In fact, he said he was scared and overwhelmed. He told me that maybe she was planting a seed or finally coming forward with her feelings. I haven't heard that tone in his voice since he told me he was scared to get involved with me. Needless to say, I am not happy. What do I do? Confront him on this and tell him to pursue her and get it out of his system or marry her, or do I say nothing and hope for the best? He talks about a future for us but he has a very long history of girlfriends. What would you do? I don't want to come off as jealous and insecure, but I am.
This does not sounds like a typical guy.
Let me get this straight, he tells you that there might be a future, but he won't date you and tells you about other women?
If you haven't been clear enough with him, make a move on him and try to spark something, and if nothing happens, move on with your life.
Let me get this straight, he tells you that there might be a future, but he won't date you and tells you about other women?
If you haven't been clear enough with him, make a move on him and try to spark something, and if nothing happens, move on with your life.
We have dated on and off and supposedly we're on again (let's just say he called this a.m. and wants to stop by and give me a big kiss). It's just that he knows the problems it causes (and has always caused) when he tells me about these women. He's gotten better about this and cut down on doing it, but he felt compelled (I guess) to tell me about this surprise phone call and that he is overwhelmed. He told me I that I should realize his telling me this is a good thing and that when he stops telling me this kind of stuff is when I have to worry. Well, he sounded almost frantic. He told me he'll just "have to focus" when he goes back to work tomorrow. I guess he'll see her and find out if she has a thing for him. I am just worried he'll have a thing back for her. Sorry if I wasn't more clear.
Sounds like he's playing the field, and letting you know about it too, which is really pretty crass, if you ask me. I can't imagine anyone being sincere about "having a future together" when he is still involved with other women, and has the audacity to tell you about. He obviously wants to keep you around, if the "other things don't pan out." That wouldn't sit well with me.
Sounds like he's playing the field, and letting you know about it too, which is really pretty crass, if you ask me. I can't imagine anyone being sincere about "having a future together" when he is still involved with other women, and has the audacity to tell you about. He obviously wants to keep you around, if the "other things don't pan out." That wouldn't sit well with me.
Yeah, sounds like he is keeping his options open as a free agent. Maybe he tells me these things so he has a clear conscience. I am not sure I get why you say it's crass though. Is it better if he doesn't mention anything to me? This doesn't sit well with me. I just don't know whether to confront it head on or say nothing. Oh, and he always tells me he isn't interested in them. I saw him in the hospital Sat night though. This cute nurse came in and the non verbals were hard to miss. He sort of sat up and was "very personable" (he is a super friendly guy with charisma), then told me she flirted with him all night. He even asked her if she was sure she wanted to marry her BF. Sorry, but that is way out of line and no wonder he has these women coming onto him. I did tell him about it too.
When you get to a certain age there are more women than men out there. A man can be 60-65-70 and easily get a woman much younger and have multiple women after him.
I saw it with a close relative. He was a widower rather youngish (late 50s early 60s). He was dating a nice lady around his age. Then this younger woman (not dramatically young but 12 years or so) wheedled her way into things. They knew each other from a former job. He was flattered and dumped the older lady for this woman. (he is still with her today). Too bad she's a selfish manipulator who pits him vs. his kids.
Even a jerk can play the field if the odds are in his favor.
When he tells you about all the women who want him.....
you wish him well and send him on his way. Life is too short to deal with such a man-child.
If you have no self respect, then you stay with him and whine about him ad nausium to your friends, family, and the CD posters about "why does he do this and do that and treat me this way?"
I wouldn't put up with a guy who has the need to talk about all the women who want him. And, having a big ego doesn't mean he's not insecure. That big ego is probably just a cover for something else. Most men don't feel the need to talk about all the women who want them - if that's even true.
And on top of that, he's telling you that the two of you are involved - but he stills wants to remind you that he's hot stuff? Yeah, no thanks.
No, this is not typical. He has some serious problems. ... and you don't need this type of drama.
He is telling you all this - all these other women (sign) - to keep you off balance, to make him more desirable to you (tricky). Of course all this makes him "open and honest" (ha), you'll never beable to say he was cheating, etc. blah, blah, blah.
Trust me. You are wasting your time with this guy. Move on! Get out of this would be, may, on-again-off-again, "relationship" before you are in too deep. He is dangling a carrott that can't be caught and the "dream" of a future is not real.
Drop him like a rock. Don't try to stay friends - you don't need friends like this! Do NOT stay in any type of contact with him. It will be painful - but you will overcome this.
Take care of yourself.
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