Help: Don't Know How to Proceed (dating, wife, long distance, married)
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Okay I was talking to this guy long distance and we were coming along well. Our connection deepened over a few short months. We had a disagreement and I hastily cut things off.
I know it was wrong on my part to do so, being childish I guess. I cut off contact with him but the problem is he didn't try and contact me to see what happened.
I'm not a naive person, so I figure he 'just wasn't that into me' if he didn't even follow up and find out what went wrong. Or could it be that he was hurt himself that I cut him off and really thought I didn't want to have anything else to do with him.
IDK I'm just confused, should I try to make contact back with him and explain all this or does it seem like he really wasn't truly into what we had? What are y'all thoughts and advice on it?
Last edited by EnergyJones; 11-04-2009 at 12:59 PM..
Reason: typo
You cut off communication. What would you expect him to do? ... plead with you to communicate with him - how lame! It tells me he is following your lead and respecting your wishes not to continue to communicate. If you were expecting him to play "drama", I guess he isn't interested in that.
If you want to say your sorry for loosing your temper, go ahead. Contact him and say so. Will he want to communicate again? You will find out. Remember, no hard feels if he is no longer interested. After all, you cut off the communication and you need to "own it".
Best wishes.
1. If you tell someone "I never want to see (text, call) you again," be prepared for that person to believe you. Don't ever tell someone that unless you really mean it.
2. Don't expect someone to chase after you. Some people just won't. That doesn't mean they didn't like you ... but hoping for "Baby, please take me back" often ends in heartache. YOU might be able to chase THEM and apologize and promise not to be so impetuous ... but see #1. Sometimes you can't fix what you've broken.
3. Don't expect people to be mind readers. (I don't know if you do this; this is just something I've learned.) If someone asks, "What's wrong?" and you say, "Nothing," then don't be mad if they believe you. Pouting and thinking, "If you loved me, you'd KNOW" gets you nowhere. Likewise, breaking up with someone and hoping that he will realize you want him to protest and chase after you is probably also going to get you nowhere.
If you think you behaved badly and want to get back together, call him up and say, "I acted like a jerk and I'm very sorry. Please forgive me. I won't do that again." But remember #1.
Okay I was talking to this guy long distance and we were coming along well. Our connection deepened over a few short months. We had a disagreement and I hastily cut things off.
I know it was wrong on my part to do so, being childish I guess. I cut off contact with him but the problem is he didn't try and contact me to see what happened.
I'm not a naive person, so I figure he 'just wasn't that into me' if he didn't even follow up and find out what went wrong. Or could it be that he was hurt himself that I cut him off and really thought I didn't want to have anything else to do with him.
IDK I'm just confused, should I try to make contact back with him and explain all this or does it seem like he really wasn't truly into what we had? What are y'all thoughts and advice on it?
Let it go.
My wife blew up at me on the phone and I was going to cut all ties with her from it too. I figured you don't talk to me like that no matter what mood you are in.
Well, she drove and hour to come and see me and she said, "I thought you were giving up on me." I was. I didn't even want her there.
Well, I have been with her for 12 years. Married and miserable. I wish I would have stuck to my gut feeling and made my choice firm. I am paying for accepting that.
So, with your situation I would say if it was the both of you can't getting thru some sort of problem just dating then it won't make it any easier when you've been together for 10 years. Trust me.
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