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Old 11-05-2009, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Incognito
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Would you do it just to get back at you ex?

DISCLAIMER: No people, I am not planning to do such a thing. I just read about Sandra Bullock and it gave me an idea for a thread.
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Old 11-05-2009, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
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I had a mother who deserted us and, as a result, I've swung the opposite direction. I cannot imagine my life without my kids, so I'd do whatever was necessary to be with them.
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Old 11-05-2009, 04:25 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,019,169 times
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No, but like Sunnydee said, I can't imagine life without them. My ex-brother-in-law tried (or said he was going to try--he's a deadbeat) to take my nephew away from his mother (my husband's sister). He didn't care a whit about his son; he just wanted to punish my sister-in-law for leaving him. My parents-in-law have a voice mail message from him trying to wheedle $10,000 out of them so he'd drop the custody suit. They didn't pay, and it's just as well, because he never bothered to show up at any of the hearings.
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Old 11-07-2009, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Birmingham
756 posts, read 1,674,326 times
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I can never get over the way divorce brings out the worst in people. I hope and pray that if I ever have to go through divorce, that my husband and I will keep the children's well being at the center of everything we do. I can't imagine forgetting that little lives and their well being hang in the balance. Women are just as guilty as men of using their children as weapons in bitter break-ups. These poor children.
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Old 11-07-2009, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 32,927,608 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1984vt View Post
I can never get over the way divorce brings out the worst in people. I hope and pray that if I ever have to go through divorce, that my husband and I will keep the children's well being at the center of everything we do. I can't imagine forgetting that little lives and their well being hang in the balance. Women are just as guilty as men of using their children as weapons in bitter break-ups. These poor children.

That's because instead of being a humane process governed by wisdom, it is an adversarial process where too often one party prevails greatly over the other. If the family court system were not driven by the greed of lawyers, etc., divorce would not bring out the worst in people.
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Old 11-07-2009, 11:03 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,224,768 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
That's because instead of being a humane process governed by wisdom, it is an adversarial process where too often one party prevails greatly over the other. If the family court system were not driven by the greed of lawyers, etc., divorce would not bring out the worst in people.
Greedy lawyers bring out the worst in people? It seems to me the couples are having problems BEFORE they consult an attorney...
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Old 11-07-2009, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
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Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
Greedy lawyers bring out the worst in people? It seems to me the couples are having problems BEFORE they consult an attorney...

Yes..........and the system preys on those problems and exacerbates them..............
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Old 11-07-2009, 11:08 PM
 
23,957 posts, read 31,176,495 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
That's because instead of being a humane process governed by wisdom, it is an adversarial process where too often one party prevails greatly over the other. If the family court system were not driven by the greed of lawyers, etc., divorce would not bring out the worst in people.
I disagree. What really oughta happen is each couple should be assigned a single mediator. And that's all. But it would never happen because people that are hurt or cheated upon, often become so bitter all they want is revenge...and they use the lawyers simply as a weapon of revenge. People can just be so focused on getting back at someone, they completely lose all concept of what is fair and just.
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Old 11-07-2009, 11:09 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,224,768 times
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Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
Yes..........and the system preys on those problems and exacerbates them..............
So, let's eliminate attorneys and let's see if divorce rates come down and we become a kinder gentler nation
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Old 11-07-2009, 11:22 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 32,927,608 times
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Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I disagree. What really oughta happen is each couple should be assigned a single mediator. And that's all. But it would never happen because people that are hurt or cheated upon, often become so bitter all they want is revenge...and they use the lawyers simply as a weapon of revenge. People can just be so focused on getting back at someone, they completely lose all concept of what is fair and just.
ChessieMom, you are agreeing with me without knowing it. My point is that there should not be two sides with opposite objectives fighting for "victory." This encourages bitter fighting and, often, psychologically devastating results. Everything you say here proves what I was saying. I think divorce should be settled via mediation, not litigation. What were you disagreeing with?
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