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First man, ya need to chill out a bit. All of this isn't necessary:
Get it? Do I have to teach you everything here?
I ask again, what freakin planet are you from? The bad lover planet?
Women still don't get it when it comes to men.
That's a totally ridiculous interpretation.
Again another example of a person (probably a woman) that doesn't get it.
Seriously dude, who taught you how to talk to people? Have some respect for others opinions. I think, if ignorance is bliss, you must be one happy bastard. At least try to have some class, instead of playing the ignorant idiot that the village keeps sending away. I think you're better than that.. and I KNOW that the people here deserve a hell of a lot more respect than you give them.
Second, you talk about women not getting it.. I don't know what kind of chicks that you've been going after, but I know that I wouldn't even consider dating one of them if they follow what you say. Personally, I prefer a lady, not someone who's going to jump in bed with me after just a couple dates.
Lets take a look at some of the mindless drivel that you call thoughts:
I'm a guy. Dating (from a guys point of view) is primarily to find out if there is a physical connection in order to determine if you will be sleeping with that girl.
Again, you remember what I said about ignorance and happy people.. this statement exemplifies that.
Seriously, dating is NOT about finding out if there's a physical connection. That's just a small part of it. Dating IS about finding someone who you're compatible with, physically, spiritually, emotionally.. It's about finding mutual interests, mutual core values and beliefs.. It's about finding someone you can have fun with, be spontaneous with, someone who you can be yourself with.
I don't care if you define "sleeping with a girl" as cuddling in bed or giving your giggle berry's a workout.. It doesn't matter. Any lady that has any decent amount of self respect will not just jump in bed with someone who's basically a total stranger.
Next...
You automatically think that sleeping with a guy means to go "all the way".
Er.. I think this is how pretty much the rest of the world takes this. When you say sleeping with, it automatically translates into "screwing". And you ask what planet these people are from...
Next...
This: 3-4 dates should be plenty enough to at least go hot and heavy in the make-out department, and at least see what the girl looks like with most of her clothes off! ...and this: If after the third date the guy cannot figure out if the woman will sleep with him, he should move on.
I have one word that comes to mind when I hear of a chick doing this: ****. I have a word for men too: Player.
So this thread is about people playing games.. To me, this sounds exactly like someone who would be well versed in how these games are played.
To the point, if you've just met a chick, and you're interested in her as a potential long term partner, I would think that you would be interested in more than just getting her in bed and half naked. I'm not saying that I haven't done it, but in reality, it's just not a good foundation for a long term relationship.
Where's the anticipation? Where's the thrill of discovery? If you've already passed that step within the first few dates, you've lost out on a lot of what new relationships have to offer. In addition, if she was that easy for you, what happens when she gets bored?
Most people, after the third date, are still getting to know the person that they're dating. And, most adults have a little more self-respect for themselves than to go jumping in bed with some strange dude..
..unless they are of the type that I described in one word above.
This: If the guy continues to pursue the girl who is waiting too long (after 3-4 dates), then she is playing games with the guy. ...and this: A guy needs to be afraid of the woman who insists on waiting too long to sleep with him.
A girl needs to be afraid of a guy who insists on getting them in bed after three dates.
Seriously.. c'mon now. If you think that a girl is waiting too long after only four dates, you really need to get a clue. Watch blue's clues, it might be up to your level.
Again, after four dates, people are still discovering one another. In fact, I don't even think people are completely exclusive after four dates.. Now if you said ten or fifteen, I could understand that, but four?
Look, if everything is going great, but the woman isn't ready to sleep with a guy, that's just fine. That just means that she's simply not ready. It doesn't mean she's playing games or anything like that.
It's just that simple.
And finally...
Just imagine a fourth date... you guys are going at it hot and heavy, alot of clothes are off, lots of kissing all over the respective bodies...
I think you've read a few too many romance novels. I don't care about throbbing members or milky white funbags, I don't need to be hearing about all that, or even imagining it.
The bottom line is this: Women deserve a lot more respect than that. Sure, you need to foster that attraction, help it grow and develop, but that's something that comes naturally. It's something that's based on personality and trust, not based on something that happens in the bedroom.
On a personal note, maybe some of the things I said here were mean, but hell, I give respect as it's deserved. These ladies here have offered their opinion gracefully, and yet you come back with comments such as listed above. Bro, that's just not cool. In life, you get what you give..
Grasshopper, I hope you've learned something here today..
I wish you well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDaysCopenhagenSkoal
I'm a guy. Dating (from a guys point of view) is primarily to find out if there is a physical connection in order to determine if you will be sleeping with that girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDaysCopenhagenSkoal
Nobody said anything about instant gratification and instant sex... What planet are you from?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDaysCopenhagenSkoal
Again another example of a person (probably a woman) that doesn't get it.....3-4 dates should be plenty enough to at least go hot and heavy in the make-out department, and at least see what the girl looks like with most of her clothes off!
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDaysCopenhagenSkoal
So what do you call it when you sleep in the same bed with a woman on the 3rd date...I ask again, what freakin planet are you from? The bad lover planet?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDaysCopenhagenSkoal
Obviously I have dated Christians and they have all turned out to be long-term relationships...
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDaysCopenhagenSkoal
You misunderstood his comment... that figures, women still don't get it when it comes to men.
^ ^ THANK YOU! You summed it up better than I ever could. He's critical of my post because I "assumed sleeping together" meant sex? Another thing, why did we all need pages of gory details about this person's sex life? I was always told that those who know what they are doing and do it frequently, don't need to broadcast it to everyone. Me thinks someone has been reading too many "bodice rippers". It really doesn't suprise me to find out this person lives by me. Unfortunately this disrespectful, instant gratification mentality seems to be very prevelent in the area I live. I can't believe a guy has to see me totally naked by the third date or "I'm playing games", I don't think so. As I said before, I would be very suspicious of a girl who thinks it's ok to go along with what this guy thinks is normal. If she's getting naked and spending "72 hrs"(did we figure out if it's 72 hrs of sex or sleeping) hooking up with someone she barely knows, don't be suprised to find out she's a little "liberal" with taking off her clothes with just about anyone. Again as I mentioned before, I'm very adventurous and affectionate with a partner I know well, in the context of a committed relationship. How can you know anyone, or have a serious level of commitment, with someone you've dated for a few wks? This poster frankly sounds mysogenistic with his constant snide comments about "this poster is obviously female" and with his general ideas on what's acceptable dating behavior. Obviously(no matter what is said to the contrary), this poster does not know what most women want. This whole method sounds exactly like a game, with rules-"by the third date....", and exactly what the OP does NOT want.
I guess you never really analyzed my post very profoundly to my taste.
If you did, you would clearly see that it was a very coherent and logical argument. I'm not going to stay up any later trying to break it down for you. Maybe get some sleep and reread it SLOWLY and carefully tomorrow. Feel free to interpret the vocabulary in a flexible way to wrap the meaning around more in depth ideas. That might make it easier for you.
And now you are "coming off" (no pun intended) as a "making love passionately expert". Well then, maybe so - maybe my message - it's mute to you, like you have said. But I bet there are some people here that are interested in the subject. There are many people out there who are not satisfied in the love making department. They are not all part of the "been there done that - you can't teach me anything" department, like you say you are.
Furthermore, I find it very ironic that someone who is so against taking off her clothes on the 3rd or 4th date just to receive kisses all over her body can then come back and say "been there done that" later on in the thread.
Well... I've done enough damage to this thread, my girlfriend wishes that I would just go to bed now. She wonders what I am doing so late on the internet. Ok, honey, I'm coming to see you.
I'll see where this thread ends up in a couple of days.
You continue to read only what you want, and interpret it however you see fit. My "Been there done that" never referred to "the 3rd or 4th date" - perhaps you should take your own advice about the slower reading. I find your logic skewed, and your posts, now, completely silly. I've wasted enough time here.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 11-10-2009 at 06:49 AM..
Clearly, you have absolutely no idea what a mentally stable, intelligent, healthy woman is about. Obviously you can only speak from your own experience, so this tells us much about the type of women you have dated. I hope you are lucky enough to improve that situation someday.
I have an excellent idea of what a mentally stable, intelligent, healthy woman is all about. I've dated them, I know them, there just aren't that many of them.
You have no idea what type of women I date. I've had many experiences, good AND bad. Are you saying you've only dated top-notch men and you've never made a mistake? That's the message you're sending with your statement.
Because women are socialized to be nice and polite and obliging to people, and it's easier to turn you down over the phone then in person?
To be honest I'd LOVE for them to turn me down over the phone, or even in person. It's actually not considered unsocialzied OR rude to turn someone down who is asking you out. I actually would have much more respect if they did, and women that have I've thanked them for it after they rejected me. Also, the issue I have is not that they are rejecting me over the phone, there's no rejection period. I don't considering ignoring or never returning a phone call a "socialized" rejection. That's where women (and you) are just downright mistaken. Thanks for helping prove my point.
Because maybe in the cold light of day she realized that she was drunk when she gave you her number, I don't ask drunk women, or women at a bar, for their phone numbers. I go to bars and drink with friends, that is it. and she's not interested anymore? If she never talks to you after giving you the phone number, she was never interested.
There are many reasons, and very few of them are sinister. These women could probably stand to grow up, but if it happens to you all the time remember the only common factor in all your dissatisfying interactions is you. You're right, striking friendly coversation and asking for a phone number must be flawed, which is why I actually stopped doing it, it just doesn't work for me. Online dating has been much more successful for me and I'm going on 4 dates this week, but of course you're now dealing with a DIFFERENT kind of messed-up Americanized woman. These are the women that for one odd reason or another feel they NEED a relationship/marriage for reasons other than to find a good mate they can be happy with for a long time (i.e. social status, peer pressure, lifestyle success fulfillment, revenge, boredom). It's easier to weed them out though from the true good-intentions woman through this process. Unfortunately, again, there just aren't that many of them.
Jeez, you sound so bitter. You can't castigate a whole gender based on a few bad experiences. I've had some really really bad experiences but I don't hold all men accountable for the actions of a few.
Jeez, you sound so bitter. You can't castigate a whole gender based on a few bad experiences. I've had some really really bad experiences but I don't hold all men accountable for the actions of a few.
I know, right? It's interesting to see people who approach dating in such a pessimistic and adversarial manner wonder why they're unsuccessful with it. Everybody has been burned in love, but you shouldn't let it taint your personality.
I have an excellent idea of what a mentally stable, intelligent, healthy woman is all about. I've dated them, I know them, there just aren't that many of them.
You have no idea what type of women I date. I've had many experiences, good AND bad. Are you saying you've only dated top-notch men and you've never made a mistake? That's the message you're sending with your statement.
Not at all. I'm not the one making the disparaging remarks.
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I find your logic skewed, and your posts, now, completely silly. I've wasted enough time here.
