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Alright, here I am with my stories... ok I am dating this guy now, hasn't been that long, maybe a month or so officially. We have been talking for a while... in any case...
This past Sunday we went out to a Sports Bar to watch a bunch of soccer and football games (stil can not understand WHY football is called football... but that is the topic for another thread) ANY WAYS... we were watching the Redskins game and I got really excited and punched him in the arm... you know like a love punch kind of thing, not hard at all... and he flipped his lid!!! he got so mad at me!!!!
It was really awkward for like 10 minutes after that and after the silence he said he did not like that and that he hoped I would never do it again... hmmm... I guess it is a big trauma thing for him? He asked for an apology, and I was like I am sorry you don't like it? (how am I supposed to know what you like or not if you don't tell me? IDK!!! )
So question here is... when is a good time to disclose these kind of things? I believe this isn't something as simple as "hey I hate spiders" this sounds like a deeper trauma... maybe I am over analizing this... his reaction was quite shocking to me... he is a very cool and collected kind of guy, very laid back...
Maybe something is wrong with his arm
Maybe you hit him harder than you thought
Maybe he is ultrasensitive about violent women
Maybe he is prone to violent outbursts himself
Maybe it reminds him of his older sister whom he hates
Maybe he's a freak.
Maybe you're a freak.
etc..
There is no way to be able to disclose every single little thing about yourself that MIGHT be irritating to someone else. Helloooo? That is what dating is FOR, in the first place.
Some people really don't like to be hit, even playfully. I don't think that's a weird thing he has to disclose or even talk about. Do you think you need to disclose "When I joke around, I like to hit people"?
Hey, I punch guys in the arm too. My husband gets a good sock now and then when we're playing around, but he never hits me. It's a general rule that guys don't hit girls, and it's only fair that we don't hit them either, isn't it?
Tell your boyfriend that you were just playing around, that you are very sorry, and that it won't happen again. The change the subject and let it go.
Alright, here I am with my stories... ok I am dating this guy now, hasn't been that long, maybe a month or so officially. We have been talking for a while... in any case...
This past Sunday we went out to a Sports Bar to watch a bunch of soccer and football games (stil can not understand WHY football is called football... but that is the topic for another thread) ANY WAYS... we were watching the Redskins game and I got really excited and punched him in the arm... you know like a love punch kind of thing, not hard at all... and he flipped his lid!!! he got so mad at me!!!!
It was really awkward for like 10 minutes after that and after the silence he said he did not like that and that he hoped I would never do it again... hmmm... I guess it is a big trauma thing for him? He asked for an apology, and I was like I am sorry you don't like it? (how am I supposed to know what you like or not if you don't tell me? IDK!!! )
So question here is... when is a good time to disclose these kind of things? I believe this isn't something as simple as "hey I hate spiders" this sounds like a deeper trauma... maybe I am over analizing this... his reaction was quite shocking to me... he is a very cool and collected kind of guy, very laid back...
Any ideas?
Well perhaps I'm a pessimist but I have to say that if you genuinely believe that it was no more than a friendly tap AND his reaction was above and beyond what was called for then I'd suggest you've got someone with potential rage issues on your hands and I'd tread very carefully from here on in until you are certain about who you are dealing with.
Just because you did something he didn't like doesn't justify him responding in an over the top manner.
So perhaps backing off a little bit is the best option?
Maybe something is wrong with his arm he could have said something...
Maybe you hit him harder than you thought he did not say it hurt
Maybe he is ultrasensitive about violent women maybe?
Maybe he is prone to violent outbursts himself I hope not
Maybe it reminds him of his older sister whom he hates he does not have any sisters
Maybe he's a freak. aha...
Maybe you're a freak. well, we all know that...
etc..
I would ask him.
I did ask... he would not say why, just that he did not like it
It does sound kind of odd that a guy would make such a fuss over a playful punch on the arm. It could be any number of things that triggered his anger. You'll probably discover more underlying issues or quirks with him as you get to know him.
Well perhaps I'm a pessimist but I have to say that if you genuinely believe that it was no more than a friendly tap AND his reaction was above and beyond what was called for then I'd suggest you've got someone with potential rage issues on your hands and I'd tread very carefully from here on in until you are certain about who you are dealing with.
Just because you did something he didn't like doesn't justify him responding in an over the top manner.
So perhaps backing off a little bit is the best option?
GOD!!! those were my thoughts exactly... I mean, you usually see some signs, but when someone just explodes!!! due to a little thing... idk...
I did ask... he would not say why, just that he did not like it
Well..
men are taught not to hit women, and obviously they shouldn't. but that doesn't mean they are incapable of doing so.
he might be prone to angry outbursts, or might be a hair-trigger psycho sort. In any case, he could be someone who has a very low threshold for playful violence.
Or he might be a sissy who can't take it in stride. No way for me to tell.
If that is the case... well... that would be dissappointing? he is a pretty big guy
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we were watching the Redskins game and I got really excited and punched him in the arm... you know like a love punch kind of thing, not hard at all... and he flipped his lid!!! 
he got so mad at me!!!! 
hmmm... I guess it is a big trauma thing for him? 
I am sorry you don't like it? (how am I supposed to know what you like or not if you don't tell me? IDK!!! 
I mean, you usually see some signs, but when someone just explodes!!! 
that would be dissappointing? he is a pretty big guy 
