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Old 11-10-2009, 06:28 PM
 
187 posts, read 380,270 times
Reputation: 106

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why is so difficult to be yourself?you have ,what you have,you are,what you are!!i would never worry about the way,my home looks and so on...if she really loves you,she does not care about your furniture,about the way you live.Just be proude of yourself and what you ahve achieved.You do not need palaces,big cars,to be a great guy and have a great heart.
If she thinks different,let her go,then she is not the right for you.Maybe she is not even this way,you only picture her reacting like this in your head.
GIVE IT A TRY!and be yourself!
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Old 11-10-2009, 06:42 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,984,719 times
Reputation: 2315
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buburuza 1313 View Post
why is so difficult to be yourself?you have ,what you have,you are,what you are!!i would never worry about the way,my home looks and so on...if she really loves you,she does not care about your furniture,about the way you live.Just be proude of yourself and what you ahve achieved.You do not need palaces,big cars,to be a great guy and have a great heart.
If she thinks different,let her go,then she is not the right for you.Maybe she is not even this way,you only picture her reacting like this in your head.
GIVE IT A TRY!and be yourself!

^^With all due respect, everybody likes to put there best foot forward.

Regardless, (and this is to the OP) why don't you go to IKEA and spend a few buck sprucing up your apartment? Also, look in Craigslist and see if you can score some furniture deals without getting killed.
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Baltimore
745 posts, read 887,894 times
Reputation: 829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
^^With all due respect, everybody likes to put there best foot forward.

Regardless, (and this is to the OP) why don't you go to IKEA and spend a few buck sprucing up your apartment? Also, look in Craigslist and see if you can score some furniture deals without getting killed.
Well, I didn't furnish my apartment because it feels like a pitstop to me, and the mail slot is in the front door so someone can lift the flap and see what I have inside. Furthermore, no one really visits anyway, and I don't want to furnish it just for potential company. I intend to move out soon, and when I do move into my next place it will be fully furnished (of course, I expect the place to be a bit nicer).

Admittedly, I am somewhat ashamed of how I am living. I know what I'm doing, but I make decent money yet I live like a broke college student. Helps me out in the long run but I still sometimes feel a little embarrassed by it. Also, this girl is attractive and makes for decent company although there are some characteristics I can live without. I probably do need to either find another woman, decide to remain single, or shut up and ride the wave. Not sure exactly what to do about that at this point, but I know I'm still very apprehensive about her coming here.
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:03 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
22,154 posts, read 26,310,318 times
Reputation: 22744
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
^^With all due respect, everybody likes to put there best foot forward.

Regardless, (and this is to the OP) why don't you go to IKEA and spend a few buck sprucing up your apartment? Also, look in Craigslist and see if you can score some furniture deals without getting killed.
Why should he spend any money at all sprucing up his apartment if he's comfortable living there? After only two dates he's reluctant to have her over not only because his pad is a typical bachelor pad but because he'd rather get to know her better.

He's also living within his means while she's supported by her parents, yet she expects him to drive at best 1 hour and 10 minutes to pick her up, take her to his place and then drive her back home again. That's a lot driving and considerable expense for someone in his financial position. If she wants to see his place so badly, why can't she take public transportation and have him pick her up at the closest terminal? Cheers!
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:19 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,984,719 times
Reputation: 2315
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Griff View Post
Well, I didn't furnish my apartment because it feels like a pitstop to me, and the mail slot is in the front door so someone can lift the flap and see what I have inside. Furthermore, no one really visits anyway, and I don't want to furnish it just for potential company. I intend to move out soon, and when I do move into my next place it will be fully furnished (of course, I expect the place to be a bit nicer).

Admittedly, I am somewhat ashamed of how I am living. I know what I'm doing, but I make decent money yet I live like a broke college student. Helps me out in the long run but I still sometimes feel a little embarrassed by it. Also, this girl is attractive and makes for decent company although there are some characteristics I can live without. I probably do need to either find another woman, decide to remain single, or shut up and ride the wave. Not sure exactly what to do about that at this point, but I know I'm still very apprehensive about her coming here.

Well, it's up to you at this point. But like others have said, just invite her over and see what happens.

I had a personal story like yours, in that, I dated a beautiful girl who was the daughter of a stock broker. When I was with her, financially, I was broke! We dated over a year under my horrible financial situation. Well, I can tell you that it's no big deal (short term) if you are a honest and respectable man.
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:24 PM
 
3,284 posts, read 1,090,153 times
Reputation: 1832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Griff View Post
Well, I didn't furnish my apartment because it feels like a pitstop to me, and the mail slot is in the front door so someone can lift the flap and see what I have inside. Furthermore, no one really visits anyway, and I don't want to furnish it just for potential company. I intend to move out soon, and when I do move into my next place it will be fully furnished (of course, I expect the place to be a bit nicer).

Admittedly, I am somewhat ashamed of how I am living. I know what I'm doing, but I make decent money yet I live like a broke college student. Helps me out in the long run but I still sometimes feel a little embarrassed by it. Also, this girl is attractive and makes for decent company although there are some characteristics I can live without. I probably do need to either find another woman, decide to remain single, or shut up and ride the wave. Not sure exactly what to do about that at this point, but I know I'm still very apprehensive about her coming here.
Dude, just go with it. You are doing things exactly as they should be. Most people post college run up credit card debt, student loan debt, and it follows them to there early 30's.

Who gives a flying sht what this girl thinks. It's your life and if she wants to be a part of it she can just accept you need to take care of business before you can play the sugar daddy role.
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:33 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,984,719 times
Reputation: 2315
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
Why should he spend any money at all sprucing up his apartment if he's comfortable living there? After only two dates he's reluctant to have her over not only because his pad is a typical bachelor pad but because he'd rather get to know her better.
Yes, SST I hear you...




Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
He's also living within his means while she's supported by her parents, yet she expects him to drive at best 1 hour and 10 minutes to pick her up, take her to his place and then drive her back home again. That's a lot driving and considerable expense for someone in his financial position.
It's not her fault that he has a financial situation. Also, being that this is the first time she would come see him, he needs to be a MAN visit HER PARENTS before he even thinks about taking her back to his place. So he needs to make the trip anyway!



Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
If she wants to see his place so badly, why can't she take public transportation and have him pick her up at the closest terminal? Cheers!

Are you serious? Would you let your daughter agree to that with a guy she just met?
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Old 11-10-2009, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Kentucky
6,753 posts, read 14,754,571 times
Reputation: 2029
Quote:
Originally Posted by mathebanker View Post
why in the hell would you want to be with a girl who acts like this? She sounds like a spoiled brat! Why do you settle for that?

Please, do yourself a favor and go out and get a real woman.
amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 11-10-2009, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
6,565 posts, read 6,666,712 times
Reputation: 7619
I think the decisions you've made about your living arrangement are very wise when you look at the long haul. You should not let yourself feel pressured into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. It's ridiculous for her to expect you to drive all that way, drive her back to your place, return her to her parents' place, and then drive home again. Driving that distance four times in one day is not reasonable and she should understand that. If you drive all the way down to her place, your date should be in her city, and then you should return home. It sounds like this girl has a lot of growing up to do and I believe you could do better.
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Old 11-10-2009, 08:34 PM
 
Location: somewhere south of Canada
2,144 posts, read 2,554,744 times
Reputation: 2515
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunnydee View Post
I think the decisions you've made about your living arrangement are very wise when you look at the long haul. You should not let yourself feel pressured into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. It's ridiculous for her to expect you to drive all that way, drive her back to your place, return her to her parents' place, and then drive home again. Driving that distance four times in one day is not reasonable and she should understand that. If you drive all the way down to her place, your date should be in her city, and then you should return home. It sounds like this girl has a lot of growing up to do and I believe you could do better.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Baltimore to Lorton is a crazy long drive and unless you're doing it at 3 in the morning it will take forever. The girl does sound spoiled and if she can't see how unreasonable asking you to make that round trip TWICE for a date is, she's not worth it.

you can do better
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