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Unless he wants kids, I see no benefit for a man who marries.
even so, he can have kids without being married
these days, judges in California have told men to pay child support for kids that are not even theirs, if the woman has lived with them for a long period of time - and they aren't married!
not only that, Cali judges have also made guys pay child support for children where the girl has lied about the father...
it's not limited to California, folks.
I mean for all you women out there... it's tough, because our society is such that one bad apple ruins everything... that's our culture. I am not saying all women out there will try to screw the man, but enough women do that it makes many men JADED
these days, judges in California have told men to pay child support for kids that are not even theirs, if the woman has lived with them for a long period of time - and they aren't married!
not only that, Cali judges have also made guys pay child support for children where the girl has lied about the father...
it's not limited to California, folks.
I mean for all you women out there... it's tough, because our society is such that one bad apple ruins everything... that's our culture. I am not saying all women out there will try to screw the man, but enough women do that it makes many men JADED
That rule applies ONLY if the man fails to rebut the presumption of fatherhood within 300 days of a filing with regard to paternity. I'm in CA, I work in law.
That rule applies ONLY if the man fails to rebut the presumption of fatherhood within 300 days of a filing with regard to paternity. I'm in CA, I work in law.
Well, I guess we'll have to educate the uninformed men out there, won't we...
This debate has been going on since before the time of the ancient Egyptians. There is no absolute answer, as the reasons for marriage are as personal and as varied as there are people on this planet. The answer to this question is a personal one, and not one that will encompass every point of view.
However, since you asked, I'll throw in my opinion.
Marriage is more relevant today than ever before in history. Marriage used to be a given. Now it is a choice.
There are a lot of choices out there, but how many of those choices take the strength and courage of offering oneself to another exclusively and for life? It's easy to cohabitate indefinitely, it's easy to date indefinitely, but it's not that easy to make a promise to someone and keep it for life.
I know what you're thinking. Get married, if it doesn't work out, get a divorce. I've been there, and yes, I went through a divorce.. but since then, I've come to know myself a lot more intimately than I ever have before. I now realize the importance of a promise, as well as the importance of keeping that promise.
When I talk about marriage, I think of the kind of marriage where the promise is kept, where two people join together for life, without reservation, equally mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
It takes an extremely strong person to make that kind of promise, and keep it.
In today's society, it seems as if people are looking for quick-fixes for major problems. Instead of getting married, some choose to simply live together. Instead of making a commitment, some choose to live for themselves. Instead of devoting one's life to something distinguished, some would rather wander around as if lost.
Life doesn't work like that. There are no quick-fixes. Life is a river filled with dangerous rapids and unseen twists. It is a journey where the roads one travels may lead in places one may never imagine. With all of the uncertainty in life, there is one constant. That constant is that true self awareness that each of us possesses, even when we don't realize that we posses it.
As John Donne said, "No man is an island, entire of itself." People come in and out of our lives sporadically, and most of the time, without reason. Still, sometimes we are so touched by another that they leave a lasting impact that affects the rest of our lives. Still again, there comes that one person who makes us feel whole, entire. We fall in love, and at that point in time, we no longer are alone.
So, coming back to marriage, when we meet that one person, we make a commitment to that person. That commitment may not be marriage, but it is a commitment none-the-less. However, without marriage, without those sacred promises made to one another, that unspecified commitment is essentially meaningless.
If you stop and look at the true meaning of marriage, it is, essentially, a joining of two people with a promise that those two will never part. What other forms of a relationship really take time to specify to another that kind of promise? I can think of none.
So you ask what is the benefit of a man getting married.. It depends on the man. Is this man someone who honors his promise with his life? Is it someone who has strength in who they are? Is it someone who knows themselves intimately? If this is the type of man you are describing, then the benefits are endless. This is someone who knows that they will not travel the roads of life alone, but who knows that they will have someone just as strong to help guide them along the way. This is someone who has enough strength to overcome any obstacle that blocks them from their destination.
Marriage is a traditional ceremony, in which one person declares and devotes their lives to another. It is a vow of commitment. In the type of marriage that I'm talking about, the promises made encourage the two people to work harder in their relationship. This is actually a fact, as there have been several studies done to prove this.
Here's another fact: Marriage increases sexual fidelity. Cohabiting men are four times more likely to cheat than husbands, and cohabiting women are eight times more likely to cheat than wives.
Marriage is a social community recognized not only by the law, but also by the society as well. In many circles, non-married males are actually almost looked down upon, so to speak. I have personally witnessed this several times.
There are economic advantages that are not as readily available to unmarried couples, as well, such as health benefits from employers, insurance discounts, etc..
I could go on, but seeing as I've already written a novella on the subject, I think I'll end my dissertation here.
The point is, marriage is a personal decision. As for myself, I place high value in it. I think there is great benefit for a man to be married.
This debate has been going on since before the time of the ancient Egyptians. There is no absolute answer, as the reasons for marriage are as personal and as varied as there are people on this planet. The answer to this question is a personal one, and not one that will encompass every point of view.
However, since you asked, I'll throw in my opinion.
Marriage is more relevant today than ever before in history. Marriage used to be a given. Now it is a choice.
There are a lot of choices out there, but how many of those choices take the strength and courage of offering oneself to another exclusively and for life? It's easy to cohabitate indefinitely, it's easy to date indefinitely, but it's not that easy to make a promise to someone and keep it for life.
I know what you're thinking. Get married, if it doesn't work out, get a divorce. I've been there, and yes, I went through a divorce.. but since then, I've come to know myself a lot more intimately than I ever have before. I now realize the importance of a promise, as well as the importance of keeping that promise.
When I talk about marriage, I think of the kind of marriage where the promise is kept, where two people join together for life, without reservation, equally mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
It takes an extremely strong person to make that kind of promise, and keep it.
In today's society, it seems as if people are looking for quick-fixes for major problems. Instead of getting married, some choose to simply live together. Instead of making a commitment, some choose to live for themselves. Instead of devoting one's life to something distinguished, some would rather wander around as if lost.
Life doesn't work like that. There are no quick-fixes. Life is a river filled with dangerous rapids and unseen twists. It is a journey where the roads one travels may lead in places one may never imagine. With all of the uncertainty in life, there is one constant. That constant is that true self awareness that each of us possesses, even when we don't realize that we posses it.
As John Donne said, "No man is an island, entire of itself." People come in and out of our lives sporadically, and most of the time, without reason. Still, sometimes we are so touched by another that they leave a lasting impact that affects the rest of our lives. Still again, there comes that one person who makes us feel whole, entire. We fall in love, and at that point in time, we no longer are alone.
So, coming back to marriage, when we meet that one person, we make a commitment to that person. That commitment may not be marriage, but it is a commitment none-the-less. However, without marriage, without those sacred promises made to one another, that unspecified commitment is essentially meaningless.
If you stop and look at the true meaning of marriage, it is, essentially, a joining of two people with a promise that those two will never part. What other forms of a relationship really take time to specify to another that kind of promise? I can think of none.
So you ask what is the benefit of a man getting married.. It depends on the man. Is this man someone who honors his promise with his life? Is it someone who has strength in who they are? Is it someone who knows themselves intimately? If this is the type of man you are describing, then the benefits are endless. This is someone who knows that they will not travel the roads of life alone, but who knows that they will have someone just as strong to help guide them along the way. This is someone who has enough strength to overcome any obstacle that blocks them from their destination.
Marriage is a traditional ceremony, in which one person declares and devotes their lives to another. It is a vow of commitment. In the type of marriage that I'm talking about, the promises made encourage the two people to work harder in their relationship. This is actually a fact, as there have been several studies done to prove this.
Here's another fact: Marriage increases sexual fidelity. Cohabiting men are four times more likely to cheat than husbands, and cohabiting women are eight times more likely to cheat than wives.
Marriage is a social community recognized not only by the law, but also by the society as well. In many circles, non-married males are actually almost looked down upon, so to speak. I have personally witnessed this several times.
There are economic advantages that are not as readily available to unmarried couples, as well, such as health benefits from employers, insurance discounts, etc..
I could go on, but seeing as I've already written a novella on the subject, I think I'll end my dissertation here.
The point is, marriage is a personal decision. As for myself, I place high value in it. I think there is great benefit for a man to be married.
Just my 102 cents.
It all sounds fabulous, but why couldn't the man do all of that without being married?
By the way, so many traditions, like genital mutilation, have been going on for centuries too.
Even the US has a history of some really awful traditions. We even had a civil war over it.
Honestly, we humans perpetuate a lot of things that we should not...
Marriage may be one of them... a dying tradition...for whatever reasons (feminist movement?, LOL)
It all sounds fabulous, but why couldn't the man do all of that without being married?
By the way, so many traditions, like genital mutilation, have been going on for centuries too.
Even the US has a history of some really awful traditions. We even had a civil war over it.
Honestly, we humans perpetuate a lot of things that we should not...
Marriage may be one of them... a dying tradition...for whatever reasons (feminist movement?, LOL)
First, how can marriage be a dying tradition if it has been around since before the Egyptians, in one form or another. If, indeed, it was a dying tradition, then why is there so much debate about it? If it was a dying tradition, there wouldn't be so many people up in arms over the legalities of marriage. Just open your local paper and I'm sure you'll find several stories about this "dying" tradition there.
Second, there have been a lot of traditions going on for a long time - you're right about that.. but you have to look at the reasons why these certain traditions, like genital mutilation, have been either outlawed or have otherwise gone the way of slavery and other such absurd practices. Most of these traditions have been proved harmful to people, and are no longer mainstream. Marriage, on the other hand, has neither been proven harmful or helpful. There are debates that go both ways.
Third, some things come down to strength of character. Again, look at the definition of marriage. As I said, "If you stop and look at the true meaning of marriage, it is, essentially, a joining of two people with a promise that those two will never part."
There doesn't have to be any big ceremony involved, there doesn't even have to be any legal paperwork. Historically, marriage was completed with just a vow from one person to another, without any of the excess that modern marriages have today.
Either way, it's a promise. In my belief, when you make a promise to someone, you keep it, no matter what.
So, why couldn't the man do all of that without being married?
Simply put, it's impossible. Re-read all of what I wrote and you'll see that. You can't devote your life to another without a promise. When you promise to be with someone for life, that's a marriage.
He gets an instant slave - someone to cook for him, keep the house clean, do his laundry, clean the toilets when he pees all over everything, sex slave, someone to baby his ass when he's sick ... have I left anything out?
Except that he has some obligations towards her that he wouldn't have for a slave. She benefits from it too.
Believe it or not, some women actually ENJOY sex with someone else.
This debate has been going on since before the time of the ancient Egyptians. There is no absolute answer, as the reasons for marriage are as personal and as varied as there are people on this planet. The answer to this question is a personal one, and not one that will encompass every point of view.
However, since you asked, I'll throw in my opinion.
Marriage is more relevant today than ever before in history. Marriage used to be a given. Now it is a choice.
There are a lot of choices out there, but how many of those choices take the strength and courage of offering oneself to another exclusively and for life? It's easy to cohabitate indefinitely, it's easy to date indefinitely, but it's not that easy to make a promise to someone and keep it for life.
I know what you're thinking. Get married, if it doesn't work out, get a divorce. I've been there, and yes, I went through a divorce.. but since then, I've come to know myself a lot more intimately than I ever have before. I now realize the importance of a promise, as well as the importance of keeping that promise.
When I talk about marriage, I think of the kind of marriage where the promise is kept, where two people join together for life, without reservation, equally mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
It takes an extremely strong person to make that kind of promise, and keep it.
In today's society, it seems as if people are looking for quick-fixes for major problems. Instead of getting married, some choose to simply live together. Instead of making a commitment, some choose to live for themselves. Instead of devoting one's life to something distinguished, some would rather wander around as if lost.
Life doesn't work like that. There are no quick-fixes. Life is a river filled with dangerous rapids and unseen twists. It is a journey where the roads one travels may lead in places one may never imagine. With all of the uncertainty in life, there is one constant. That constant is that true self awareness that each of us possesses, even when we don't realize that we posses it.
As John Donne said, "No man is an island, entire of itself." People come in and out of our lives sporadically, and most of the time, without reason. Still, sometimes we are so touched by another that they leave a lasting impact that affects the rest of our lives. Still again, there comes that one person who makes us feel whole, entire. We fall in love, and at that point in time, we no longer are alone.
So, coming back to marriage, when we meet that one person, we make a commitment to that person. That commitment may not be marriage, but it is a commitment none-the-less. However, without marriage, without those sacred promises made to one another, that unspecified commitment is essentially meaningless.
If you stop and look at the true meaning of marriage, it is, essentially, a joining of two people with a promise that those two will never part. What other forms of a relationship really take time to specify to another that kind of promise? I can think of none.
So you ask what is the benefit of a man getting married.. It depends on the man. Is this man someone who honors his promise with his life? Is it someone who has strength in who they are? Is it someone who knows themselves intimately? If this is the type of man you are describing, then the benefits are endless. This is someone who knows that they will not travel the roads of life alone, but who knows that they will have someone just as strong to help guide them along the way. This is someone who has enough strength to overcome any obstacle that blocks them from their destination.
Marriage is a traditional ceremony, in which one person declares and devotes their lives to another. It is a vow of commitment. In the type of marriage that I'm talking about, the promises made encourage the two people to work harder in their relationship. This is actually a fact, as there have been several studies done to prove this.
Here's another fact: Marriage increases sexual fidelity. Cohabiting men are four times more likely to cheat than husbands, and cohabiting women are eight times more likely to cheat than wives.
Marriage is a social community recognized not only by the law, but also by the society as well. In many circles, non-married males are actually almost looked down upon, so to speak. I have personally witnessed this several times.
There are economic advantages that are not as readily available to unmarried couples, as well, such as health benefits from employers, insurance discounts, etc..
I could go on, but seeing as I've already written a novella on the subject, I think I'll end my dissertation here.
The point is, marriage is a personal decision. As for myself, I place high value in it. I think there is great benefit for a man to be married.
Just my 102 cents.
I agree with you.
To the OP, I'm sorry you've had a bad experience with marriage and you've been hurt. A lot of us have experienced this. I hope with time your bitterness will subside and you'll see marriage though different eyes. I wish you well.
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