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Old 07-29-2010, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Destrehan, Louisiana
2,189 posts, read 7,033,897 times
Reputation: 3637

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrissyMerrick View Post
No. I don't trust him. I guess that is what the real problem is. I would feel more trusting of him if he put his relationship status as "in a relationship" or if he even had one photo of me (us) together posted or if he didn't spend so much time on facebook or if he didn't have so many flirty comments from beautiful women or if he wasn't friends with all his ex-girfriends. I really don't know what to do because I feel like I should not have to talk to him about this, he should be doing this on his own. He is a very smart person and he knows it upsets me. I really do appreciate your feedback. Thank you for helping me sort through this. Although there are no easy answers at least I am coming to terms with the fact that I do not trust him.

Does he know that you are here posting your personal problems on an open forum with both men and women? Do you show him everything you post on every website that you go to?

busta
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Old 07-29-2010, 10:59 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,077 posts, read 28,461,872 times
Reputation: 18184
CM...I don't know if you've read thru the earlier posts, this is an older thread.... but below seems to be a reasonable explanation for why a bf/gf wouldn't add you.

If you don't trust him you might want to find someone you do.


Quote:
Antlered ChamatakaYou know one now

Never have I added my girlfriends to my facebook page and never will. When I get married, I'll probably add my wife. Or I'll get too busy and will get rid of facebook. Even now, the only useful thing I do there once a week or something is trade farmville cows.

I have too many nosey people who want to know about my personal life. My cousins literally take it and spread across the family. My hook-ups and break-ups would be a lot of people's happy sitcom
Quote:
ChrissyMerrick No. I don't trust him. I guess that is what the real problem is. I would feel more trusting of him if he put his relationship status as "in a relationship" or if he even had one photo of me (us) together posted or if he didn't spend so much time on facebook or if he didn't have so many flirty comments from beautiful women or if he wasn't friends with all his ex-girfriends. I really don't know what to do because I feel like I should not have to talk to him about this, he should be doing this on his own. He is a very smart person and he knows it upsets me. I really do appreciate your feedback. Thank you for helping me sort through this. Although there are no easy answers at least I am coming to terms with the fact that I do not trust him.

Last edited by virgode; 07-29-2010 at 11:36 PM..
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Old 07-31-2010, 02:21 PM
 
16,956 posts, read 16,679,827 times
Reputation: 10408
He is ashamed of the age difference and he does not want you on there .

He is also using you for everything he can get.

He is likely talking to other girls and thats why he does not want you on his page.
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Old 07-31-2010, 09:40 PM
 
30 posts, read 152,383 times
Reputation: 52
Not adding you to his facebook doesn't necessarily mean that he has something to hide from you it may just be his version of a diary you know? If you spend every day together then it's perfectly normal for him to want to have an activity that he wants to do by himself. However if he spends all his time on the computer and doesn't want to actually spend time with you he may just be using you and it might be time to go your separate ways.
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Old 04-28-2011, 10:20 AM
 
6 posts, read 35,889 times
Reputation: 18
My bf won't add me, either. He says he's not going to. He says he doesn't go on it that much to be worried about it. I sent him a friend request, and he never accepted it. He took the time to add his exes, though. I told him it made me feel like he was hiding something, and he got defensive and said he was just going to delete it. He has no pics of us up, no relationship status, and his friends list hidden but DOES have pics of himself posted half naked...and he says it's just to promote his security company....yeah, ok. He used to have me up there all the way, but then hid his friends list from me and added my naked-modeling friend behind my back. Then he deleted me and broke up with me. We got back together, and now he won't acknowledge my existence on there at all. I think it's ignorant to say the least.
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:03 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 5,078,924 times
Reputation: 3345
Quote:
Originally Posted by jzynblgs View Post
So My boyfriend (of 3years living together and been out of work for over 8 months) will not add me to his facebook. What the! He has a ton of friends and fam. added....but still no me.

I have just come out and asked him to add me, his reply was " that's my own life and stuff. Oh .... as if his friends on there are important. He say's that most of the friends on his facebook are just peeps from past jobs and high school friends. Most of the friends on there are pretty girls that he talks bad about.

Dunno if he is just not that in to me or what.
Been through a lot, being that he is 8 years younger may have something to do with it...but I honestly do not think so.

Although when he met me he thought I was the same age....and everyone we know assumes that.

The way I see it is I have been the one to take care of him. All the great gifts and birthday's for his fam. have been because I go out and get the gifts and make a big deal, not him. Just an example of my thoughtfulness towards him. Along with working full time(lot's off overtime)cleaning, cooking, ironing ect. I do not any kids and he his only my second boyfriend. Am I guileless when it comes to guy's and relationships. WHAT!

What is the deal. Plz.
Should I stay or should I go....already had one real bad disappointment in life concerning a ex dumping me after 8 years, taking all of my stuff and money and leaving me for a old 55ish hag. Also bought a house together and he reneged...leaving me with no money.

I can tell you that he does deeply care for me and is a decent guy....never has really used me, taking me for granite...yes. Just can't get passed this facebook situation. Just venting.

Just venting....thanks for hearing me out ya'll.

Let me break it down for you
Him: your just not that important to me
you: please add me on
Him: your not worth adding on....if I cared so much about you I would of done it all long time ago, and showed how proud I was to have you for my gf..but your not...so thats why I didnt

So why do you stay with him?
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:05 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 5,078,924 times
Reputation: 3345
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melimeg View Post
My bf won't add me, either. He says he's not going to. He says he doesn't go on it that much to be worried about it. I sent him a friend request, and he never accepted it. He took the time to add his exes, though. I told him it made me feel like he was hiding something, and he got defensive and said he was just going to delete it. He has no pics of us up, no relationship status, and his friends list hidden but DOES have pics of himself posted half naked...and he says it's just to promote his security company....yeah, ok. He used to have me up there all the way, but then hid his friends list from me and added my naked-modeling friend behind my back. Then he deleted me and broke up with me. We got back together, and now he won't acknowledge my existence on there at all. I think it's ignorant to say the least.

Some guy disrespects you, breaks up with you
and you take him back
Are you worth so little..?
Dump him, find someone who's proud to be with you..
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:16 PM
 
2,516 posts, read 5,668,416 times
Reputation: 4672
I know its an old thread but I want to express my opinion. And in this guys opinion he is up to no good. This is a huge red flag. Privacy my ass. Facebook is hardly private, and when it comes to a serious relationship, there should be no secrets. There is no reason whatsoever for someone to omit their s/o from a social networking site unless they are hiding something.
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Old 04-29-2011, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
1,031 posts, read 2,438,651 times
Reputation: 745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhharu View Post
I know its an old thread but I want to express my opinion. And in this guys opinion he is up to no good. This is a huge red flag. Privacy my ass. Facebook is hardly private, and when it comes to a serious relationship, there should be no secrets. There is no reason whatsoever for someone to omit their s/o from a social networking site unless they are hiding something.
This is completely true. I understand not adding a girlfriend/boyfriend on Facebook if the relationship is new and you're not sure if it'll work out. However, people in long term relationships need to share the details of their lives with each other; that's what a "real" relationship is about. The only reason not to add a bf/gf as a friend is to make sure he/she doesn't know who you're talking to or friends with. That is not healthy.
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Heart of Dixie
1,298 posts, read 2,232,690 times
Reputation: 1604
Uhhh...Facebook is an issue in your relationship? And your how old? 16? Geez.
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