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Covering a broad spectrum here, so anything goes...S/O's, friends, family or people on CD...All insights welcome.
well, this covers a very broad area...but looks to be an interesting thread
here's my 2 cents....
We as human beings, have not progressed but regressed...we have become so highly sensitive about everything....as well as individualists...we are not working together as a team any longer, we fear constructive Criticism coupled with a fear of admitting we are wrong, we have stagnated our ability to reason and realize, our thoughts, words, and actions effect the lives of so many others, and whats more, is, we don't care....we have become a nation who lives in fear of being called a bigot or racisit, and have legal action brought against us, if we don't hire minorities...which has totally destroyed our work etchics, our nation's wealth. We do not have to ability to understand, that from the smallest decission, there is a trickle down effect which erodes socieities programs that work. It's like a very small and unnoticed water leak, a small amount of water over a long period of time can do a lot of damage.
I don't want friends and co-workers to yes me to death, if they feel I'm wrong...I want the honest opinions of those who my life effects, so that I can better myself, and compliment their lives, not effect their lives in a negative way.
We take constructive critisium as rude today...and it's a shame, b/c all over this country, efficency & work etchics is eroding...along with corruption growing faster then anyone wants to believe.
Honesty to me, is still the best policy, no matter how much it hurts...
I think a lot of people mistake brutal honesty for rudeness.
Absoultely...we've become way to sensitive and thin skinned....when a lot of things should be overlooked, and/or even laughed at.
I was called a bigot on another forum, b/c I shared one of our Jewish friends story, which our Jewish friends did... narrow mindedness, an inability to laugh at oneself, and fear of being a bigot will be the demise of our country. We have allowed way to many people who are considered minorities, to get away with unlawful acts. What it has done is caused complete disarry in our nation, it has broke down work ethics and hiring the best man for positions...b/c companies everywhere, including our political and social services....are forced to hire so many minorities...who are less then competant. Doing a good job together as a TEAM, has been highly effected, not to mention, corruption in every fiber of our country today is rampid.
an ex of mine asked me if i thought she looked like she was getting fat.
i thought about it for a bit, and decided that, when i'd put weight on, i wished someone had told me early, so i could stop it creeping on.
i told her that, yes, i could see it a little, but i still thought she looked great.
(note to self, lie your heart out next time)
i think it was the 3rd or 4th day when she finally spoke to me again !!
Women like this are idoits...first off, there are much more important things to worry about....like getting our country back in shape...she asked you, you told her....
a woman like this to me, is nuts...I mean, why would you ask a question like this if your going to get pissed off when the person tells the truth. What she is doing, is causing you to chose between your integrity, your identity, and her....it's a freakin childish test....
man, I have no patience for a woman like this....really, no patience what so ever.
You should have told her, loose some weight, and while your at it, fix your hair, and make up....LOL, what an insecure little nut job.
Dishonesty is the number 1 reason I end relationships or just let them die... whether they be family or friends.
If someone is a liar, they cannot be trusted. Why would I want someone around that I could not trust? In addition, I have children. If I put up with the lies of others, I am condoning it, and therefore sending my children mixed messages.
I agree about the thin-skinned thing too.
Funny story - years ago, my older sister had bought a new pair of pants. She had recently gained a lot of weight. Before we went out, she asked if the pants made her "look fat". They did not, but they weren't "miracle pants". They looked fine - like they fit.
That night about the 5th time she asked me if the pants made her look fat, I said yes. In tears, she began yelling that I was cruel and insensitive. I reminded her that I had answered no the first hundred times and that I figured she wanted a different answer. At least she stopped asking.
It depends (for me) if the situation is asked for or not.
For example, "How did you like my meatloaf last night?"
I asked a question, and I would appreciate an honest answer. "It was a little mushy, I did not care for it." To me that is not rude. Now if you go on and on about how disgusting it was, well then ya that's a little rude, and I won't invite you over again for supper most likely. But hey, I asked.
Dishonest but nice? We all like to have our ego's stroked now and then, and sometimes a little dishonesty is called for to be nice. For example,
To my overworked up friend who's very emotional: "I have a date tonight with boyfriend A....he doesn't like jeans, and wants me to wear a dress...I don't want to wear a dress. What should I do?"
Honest answer, "Wear what you want, don't let anyone decide for you what you should or should not wear." Dishonest but nice, "If you want to please him, but still be comfortable, wear that new denim dress you bought with chunky boots. You've been looking for a reason to wear it."
That dress looks like an 80's flashback, and her gothic chunky boots makes her look like a military style gone horribly wrong....so I'll lie again and tell her she looks fantastic. B/c I know she loves her demin in every way, shape and form, even if she looks drab-tastic in it.
I've tried honest, not rude, but just blunt honestly with this friend of mine...and I've learned she really doesn't want an honest answer most of the time.
So...I give her what she wants to hear, to avoid chaos!
But to each their own. If the communication lines are open, and you know that person respects honesty, just donate that but 86 the rude way it could come out.
I find I take things rather rudely when its not said in person, I don't know the person, or I'm just in an off mood.
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narrow mindedness, an inability to laugh at oneself, and fear of being a bigot will be the demise of our country. We have allowed way to many people who are considered minorities, to get away with unlawful acts. What it has done is caused complete disarry in our nation, it has broke down work ethics and hiring the best man for positions...b/c companies everywhere, including our political and social services....are forced to hire so many minorities...who are less then competant. Doing a good job together as a TEAM, has been highly effected, not to mention, corruption in every fiber of our country today is rampid.
At least she stopped asking.
