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Old 11-12-2009, 07:17 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,910,839 times
Reputation: 2309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Long Time Listener View Post
My girlfriend of 7 months discovered an unusual bump on my penis. She immediately suspected me of cheating on her.

On one hand I understand her worries, why is there a bump on my penis? I don't know myself, perhaps it got cut on the jeans zipper; or maybe it's an STD that my girlfriend gave to me and I just don't know it yet.
Your current GF, and the party you are talking about should be the least of your concerns. If I were you, I would get to the doctor ASAP to get checked out.
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Old 11-12-2009, 07:18 PM
 
65 posts, read 81,593 times
Reputation: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
I completely get why she is acting the way she is; but imagine a lifetime of questions and concerns and no trust. Can you live with that? I think it would drive me mad if my husband questioned my every move just never trusted me.
Well. She is smart enough not to do that. Although I think this is even worse - she assumes I cheat, and copes with it quietly. It is very rarely when she actually questions me; usially her attitude is 'I don't care.'
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Old 11-12-2009, 07:26 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,628,621 times
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I have found the folks that are the most untrusting are the ones who are not trustworthy...they expect everyone else to be as sneaky as they are.
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Old 11-12-2009, 07:47 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
17,680 posts, read 16,486,473 times
Reputation: 16536
Venereal warts are very common and you might have picked them up from your current girl friend. She may have them and not know.

Have your Doctor check out the bumps. Hopefully you will not have to have the little guy amputated. (Just kidding)
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Old 11-12-2009, 07:53 PM
 
2,133 posts, read 3,733,991 times
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Priority #1 - get to your doctor and find out what's going on.

Priority #2 - decide if you really want to continue a relationship with a girl/young woman who clearly has trust issues. It is VERY difficult to maintain a solid and loving relationship when there is no trust.


I can't imagine living every day with my DH if he didn't trust me, and I have no doubt that he feels the same. Trust is the basis for everything else.
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Old 11-12-2009, 08:35 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,358 posts, read 54,849,587 times
Reputation: 37133
Quote:
Originally Posted by BacktoNE View Post
Priority #1 - get to your doctor and find out what's going on.

Priority #2 - decide if you really want to continue a relationship with a girl/young woman who clearly has trust issues. It is VERY difficult to maintain a solid and loving relationship when there is no trust.


I can't imagine living every day with my DH if he didn't trust me, and I have no doubt that he feels the same. Trust is the basis for everything else.
Bingo - long time listener you have a big decision to make - do the right thing for yourself and walk away, or be prepared for a very LONG journey with this girl.
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:00 AM
 
7,483 posts, read 5,946,604 times
Reputation: 6611
Quote:
Originally Posted by Long Time Listener View Post
Ok, there is no trust. But she has a reason not to trust men. She grew up watching her farther cheating on her mother, and even calling home to brag that he was going out with other women and how much fun he had.

She also indicated that she was hurt in prior relationships (although I don't know specifics).

We have a big disagreement about fidelity. I think that cheating is a horrible betrayal that is always premeditated. She thinks cheating can be a simple mistake that doesn't mean anything.

I think bad people that surrounded her in life disfigured her moral standards.

She does say that she wants to believe that it is possible for two people to love each other and to be faithful. And I want to show her that it is real, it happens in real world, it happens when you surround yourself with good people, honest people, people who are not afraid to hold their heads above the water.
I will have to agree with LovesMountains.

There is nothing healthy about this relationship.

There is no reason in the world she would give you a green light to go to this party when she just drilled you about cheating with this girl.

She is trouble. You need to move on. Seriously.

She is playing you like a fiddle. You have know idea that she is all about games and rules and garbage.

Take some advice and leave her immediately.

Oh....to answer your question:

I would go to that party. I would then tell her you had hot, passionate sex with this girl at the party when she wasn't there. Oh, then I would say, "We are breaking up."
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:02 AM
 
16,623 posts, read 13,789,835 times
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Plan A, cut your losses, get rid of her because she doesn't trust you
or
Plan B, go to the party. The easiest, most direct way to salvage this situation is to push it further to the point of crisis.
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:28 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,927,537 times
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as usual we get all the people saying "this is not a healthy relatioship, dump the ***** !"
only you two know whether it's a good relationship, so i have no such advice.

the jealousy is understandable, but also unhealthy.
it's true that it's both your problem, and you can both take steps to help her trust you. it shouldn't last forever once the trust bond is there.
it all depends whether you both WANT it to work.

personally, i'd still consider going to the party. although it's a joint problem, it's her who has the major issue. you still have to lead your life. if she doesn't accept that, and can't believe you, then maybe she's not right for you.

maybe compromise by going for a little while or something. if she really wants to keep an eye on you she will have to go too.

trust me, one of the biggest regrets of my life is that for 10 years, i lived it for someone else, tiptoeing around them, putting them first.
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