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Im here with what lately seems to be my daily question. My boyfriend (whom I love more than anything, and whom Ive been having problems with, see previous posts) and I seem to be getting along good again. I say seem becasue there are 2 points of view. I asked him if he thought we are going to be ok or if he felt we are good now and he said he did feel we were good now. he's acting pretty normal, too. Of course, he will tend to say what I want to hear to shut me up. (I have severely overdone it with questions in the past.) I came into a little extra money today, we are both financially pretty tight right now. I bought him something I think he would like. Not sure becasue if he wanted it so bad, he does have a credit card to get it himself and even the money in his account (he spent nearly as much on a couple of other things when we were shopping yesterday.) to buy it outright. (we're talking less than $100 here but like I said, we are both on tight budgets. He said he'd probably buy it himself next month. Is it wierd if I give it to him? Am I making a wrong move, I love him and I want him to be happy and have what his friends have. I do realize I sound like a mom, but since Im able to now afford it, I thought I should share and surprise him. Thoughts? Thank-you all again. .
Im here with what lately seems to be my daily question. My boyfriend (whom I love more than anything, and whom Ive been having problems with, see previous posts) and I seem to be getting along good again. I say seem becasue there are 2 points of view. I asked him if he thought we are going to be ok or if he felt we are good now and he said he did feel we were good now. he's acting pretty normal, too. Of course, he will tend to say what I want to hear to shut me up. (I have severely overdone it with questions in the past.) I came into a little extra money today, we are both financially pretty tight right now. I bought him something I think he would like. Not sure becasue if he wanted it so bad, he does have a credit card to get it himself and even the money in his account (he spent nearly as much on a couple of other things when we were shopping yesterday.) to buy it outright. (we're talking less than $100 here but like I said, we are both on tight budgets. He said he'd probably buy it himself next month. Is it wierd if I give it to him? Am I making a wrong move, I love him and I want him to be happy and have what his friends have. I do realize I sound like a mom, but since Im able to now afford it, I thought I should share and surprise him. Thoughts? Thank-you all again. .
being that you agree with this behavior, what do you think about the gift? Sincerely, and from my point of view, of course he'll like it but that is not my concern. I don't want to be too over the top.
You know, he pretty much is, come to think of it, however, it's just that lately he has shown me another side that isn't so thoughtful behind my back and so tht is why we havn't beeen getting along. thank-you for the vote.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jays1983
I think it's a nice gesture. Hopefully he is as giving and thoughtful?
being that you agree with this behavior, what do you think about the gift? Sincerely, and from my point of view, of course he'll like it but that is not my concern. I don't want to be too over the top.
I have a problem with all this.
Gifts are all too often used by a person to convey love in an iffy situation to another. When (if) the relationship goes south, "the gift" can become an emotional string to the relationship.
I have always made it a point to buy gifts under $10 and make them personal in nature. Then, if I so feel all gooey inside about the person, I attach a heart warming hand written note in a card- that is the true gift, the feelings of my heart.
So I feel large gifts where people spend all they can (or more) and use it as an expression of their affection to be silly. All it really does is cost you money you could better use elsewhere.
Lastly, since I'm already beating this response to death, want to know the best gift my wife ever got me? A packet of flower seeds. Not because I can garden, but because they were special flowers to her and she told me when she tends to them (they are perennials) she will always see me in them. I think they cost $2.00, but so far as I'm concerned they cost $2,000.00.
msboom, with each thread you write my heart aches for you. I know you love him more than anything and want this relationship to work out, which is admirable. However, you are just trying too hard. You cannot make someone love you as much as you love them. You can't make them stay if they want to go. You can't make someone be faithful. If it's meant to be, it will work out. If it's not, it won't work no matter what you do, say, or buy.
I'm so sorry, but this is the reality of the situation. I wish you well.
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