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Keeping myself in the condition and attitude as advertised. 100 marbles for me, and 101 for her.
Boy, THIS is also important
How many couples have you known who were on their best behavior during the dating period, sold their partner a "bill of goods", then completely quit putting all that effort in once the marriage license was signed?
1. We respect each other, communicate openly, trust that each other's intentions usually are good (even if one of us does something that on the surface seems selfish or mean), never intentionally do anything to hurt each other, overlook each other's flaws (which we knew about before we got married, so it's no fair complaining about them now), are selective in our battles, express our love and appreciation for each other in some way every day, spend as much time as we can together, and always keep in mind why we fell in love and got married in the first place.
2. It's because every one of us has unconscious fears, motivations, desires, needs, fantasies, and coping behaviors, most of which were formed very early in our lives, before we were capable of understanding them. When we see someone else engaging in stupid behavior, we only know the simple surface details of their lives, and it's easy to offer simple solutions and advice that seem obvious to us. When we ourselves engage in stupid behaviors, though, we get lost in the forest of our own unconscious complexities. Think about it: whenever someone gives you a piece of advice that your gut tells you is right, but that you don't want to take, isn't your response usually something like, "But you don't understand all the details of the situation!" The problem is that we don't understand all the details of the situation ourselves. The more self-awareness you can develop -- through reflection, counseling, talking with friends, reading self-help books, getting older, gaining life experience, and becoming a student of human nature -- the fewer stupid behaviors (the ones that are obvious to everyone else) you'll engage in.
Well... I think the 'secret' to our relationship is that we're best friends who have lots of sex
He's truly the one person who I can hang out with all the time, who I choose to call if I'm in a dilemma, can watch cheesy horror movies with and can drink a bottle of wine then dance to 80s pop music with.
He's my best friend, with the added benefit of being snuggly
1) In one sentence only, what's your secret for success?
2) Reading through so many posts on here, why do you suppose there are so many clueless people on the relationship forum? I mean, during your average CD session, how many times do you slap your forehead and say, "My God, how could you be so stupid?"
Um, don't you think that 2) sounds rather condescending? It's one thing to want to huddle together about your successful LTRs and quite another to put other people down.
To some degree, every successful relationship has a strong element of luck to it -- the fact that two compatible people happened to live around the same place, at the same time, and were able to meet and get to know each other is fortuitous. The rest of us hope we can find that but, in the meantime, do the best we can. There is absolutely no reason to go all smug and call others "stupid."
I agree with CPG on the stupid posts. I also admire people who are married for good and keep it going.
But the stuff you people say is just baloney.
This is what is underneath a happy marriage.
LIES
It starts from, "You're the prettiest woman on the face of the earth". The rich and affluent have secret profiles on ashley madison or the emperor's club, even.
It starts from, "You're the prettiest woman on the face of the earth".
Yes, dear, and you're the best lover I ever had.
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