Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
1) In one sentence only, what's your secret for success?
2) Reading through so many posts on here, why do you suppose there are so many clueless people on the relationship forum? I mean, during your average CD session, how many times do you slap your forehead and say, "My God, how could you be so stupid?"
1) In one sentence only, what's your secret for success?
2) Reading through so many posts on here, why do you suppose there are so many clueless people on the relationship forum? I mean, during your average CD session, how many times do you slap your forehead and say, "My God, how could you be so stupid?"
I hear ya. I think so many come off as clueless because they are really still so young and just haven't had the benefit of age and maturity in their relationships - they're still learning
My secret for success? Understanding that we are a team - when he "wins" I win, when he loses (or feels like he has), I lose.
I hear ya. I think so many come off as clueless because they are really still so young and just haven't had the benefit of age and maturity in their relationships - they're still learning
My secret for success? Understanding that we are a team - when he "wins" I win, when he loses (or feels like he has), I lose.
Bingo. Rep for you LM.
To me the truly frightening ones are the folks who are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, yet still bouncing from one relationship disaster to another.
To me the truly frightening ones are the folks who are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, yet still bouncing from one relationship disaster to another.
Oh, I so agree! When a 20-something poster comes on here and shares how screwed up their relationship is, I understand why and how they got there. But some of these 40-50 year olds just floor me! By the time you hit 40 if you haven't done the work to be in a better place than some of these folks are I have a lot less sympathy
Oh, I so agree! When a 20-something poster comes on here and shares how screwed up their relationship is, I understand why and how they got there. But some of these 40-50 year olds just floor me! By the time you hit 40 if you haven't done the work to be in a better place than some of these folks are I have a lot less sympathy
Oh, and thanks for the rep
One theory I have? They are so enamored with their own ideology and worldview that they ignore how the world truly operates.
1. The more I attend to his needs and making sure he feels loved and appreciated, the more he gives it back to me. (Conversely, the more I worry about my needs and "my turn" and me-me-me, the further apart and unhappier we get.)
2. Some people are hurt and bitter, and everything is spoiled for them. Besides, chirping about how great life is seems condescending and cruel when others are hurting. This is an advice column, after all.
1. The more I attend to his needs and making sure he feels loved and appreciated, the more he gives it back to me. (Conversely, the more I worry about my needs and "my turn" and me-me-me, the further apart and unhappier we get.)
2. Some people are hurt and bitter, and everything is spoiled for them. Besides, chirping about how great life is seems condescending and cruel when others are hurting. This is an advice column, after all.
Fair enough. But then there are people who make the same mistakes over and over again. What keeps them from learning? I'm truly curious.
1. The more I attend to his needs and making sure he feels loved and appreciated, the more he gives it back to me. (Conversely, the more I worry about my needs and "my turn" and me-me-me, the further apart and unhappier we get.)
2. Some people are hurt and bitter, and everything is spoiled for them. Besides, chirping about how great life is seems condescending and cruel when others are hurting. This is an advice column, after all.
Oh, this is so true!!! Good post Julia
This is in line with what I meant about when he wins, I win.
Too many partners compete with one another instead of working together for the good of the marriage.
In addition, I've seen too many people make the mistake of always assuming the worst about their partner. You have to sometimes train yourself to remember not to have knee jerk reactions about things your partner does or says.
Fair enough. But then there are people who make the same mistakes over and over again. What keeps them from learning? I'm truly curious.
I can answer that - PRIDE.
Pride and ego keep you from learning some of the lessons you need to learn to have a really successful relationship.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
