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Dude....chill pill. I'm happily married, 27 years worth. I do most of the carpentry, ALL of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening/landscaping and IF I nag, it's because hubby isn't doing something he's been SAYING he's gonna do for 2 years or more. So do NOT get in MY face and make this personal. I have also been the one who got up in the middle of the night to take care of our 4 kids, 3 sons and a daughter...AND for the most of that time worked a full or part-time job! I have also, over the years put in 5 years of college in order to increase our income bracket.....WHILE doing that other crap. Meanwhile, for the most part, I have only expected hubby to be the MAIN breadwinner.
I'm not saying all women are great and jilted, there are some real users out there, just like men. It all boils down to why you're with the person you're with...what you want from a mate. Are you looking for someone to take care of you or be your partner/friend. We are friends, I couldn't live with myself if I was not the main breadwinner and did nothing but fart around all day while making to-do lists for my partner, so that he has to work all fricking day then come home and do 8 more....then fill his weekend with sunrise to sunset projects. Oh, on the nagging part. I HATE TO NAG! I hate to be put in the position where I HAVE to nag! In spite of that, my hubby has repeatedly told me, "Hon, I know you don't like to nag and sometimes, when I feel like you're nagging me, it ticks me off....but I NEED you to nag/remind me sometimes. Besides, I always end up being glad you did....I need that kick in the a** sometimes.
If you don't want to be nagged, then take care of business. God, some people are so dumb! At least I'm intelligent enough to know that if I hate to be NAGGED, I'd do the things that were making my loved one miserable.WITHIN reason. For cryin out loud, it's like a kid....you don't want to get nagged about your homework or chores.....then DO the friggin homework or chores when you're supposed to! Duh....it isn't brain surgery! Does my hubby nag? Nope..... he doesn't have to, nor does he have to come home and wait for dinner, ever wonder if he's got clean clothes, food in the cupboard, etc., not unless his partner has been working all day and gets home after him!! So yeah....don't make it personal dude....you don't know who you're talking about! I'm the gal who asks for a compound miter saw for her birthday....so she can fix his house while he's working!
You're the one that said he was lazy and doens't get up off his butt. You ranted off about how you have to do all this work as a working mother and he doesn't help and you have to "remind" him to do things to help out. Now you're defending him as a hard worker? PLEASE
I don't have all the answers to successful relationships, and neither does any doctor on the planet, I'm just saying NAGGING is not something loving wifes (or husbands) do to their spouses. You said you effing NAG him, now you're saying you REMIND him. How about we give you another chance to change up your story. One minute you're complaining, now that people are calling out your BS you're defending.
I already feel sorry for your husband, I can't imagine what he deals with on a daily basis. He must be kicking himself that he supposedly "begged" for this.
That's right, hire a plumber. He can probably fix it better anyways. And if hubby gets the bill it will be real incentive to do it next time.
OMG are you kidding???? HA!!!! This reminds me of my dad SO much. My mom is the worst nag in the world, but my dad is the biggest procrastinator, and tight as a tick! He would chew her out for a month if she HIRED someone to do something that he was capable of doing. But if she never said anything to him about getting things done, the damn house would fall down and the tires would be bald on the cars.
Sorry, I know not all men are like this (thank GOD! ) but I know several women that have hubbies that are EXACTLY like this. And my dad is one of them.
OMG are you kidding???? HA!!!! This reminds me of my dad SO much. My mom is the worst nag in the world, but my dad is the biggest procrastinator, and tight as a tick! He would chew her out for a month if she HIRED someone to do something that he was capable of doing. But if she never said anything to him about getting things done, the damn house would fall down and the tires would be bald on the cars.
Sorry, I know not all men are like this (thank GOD! ) but I know several women that have hubbies that are EXACTLY like this. And my dad is one of them.
Ha! I think your parents are my parents.
No woman wants to nag, but when you say "hey, can you take the trash out on your way out this morning?" and he says "sure" and then on your way out you see that the trash is still in the kitchen, what are you supposed to do? You can either take it out yourself, demonstrating that even when you ask, he doesn't have to take care of it because you will anyway, or you leave it there for him to take out, but running the risk of getting the dreaded "nag" or "playing games" accusations. It's a no-win.
If someone is looking for flaws and faults in every last detail then I guess that would qualify them as picky. We all have preferences and apply a certain degree of discretion when selecting someone. Wanting a guy with a six pack is a matter of taste, turning him down because his six pack isn't perfectly symmetrical is being picky. Wanting a guy who is educated is understandable, insisting he have a PhD from Harvard is being picky.
Yeah I absolutely agree with this. There is nothing wrong with being selective - that is our human nature. But taking it to such extremes - that is being "picky".
You're the one that said he was lazy and doens't get up off his butt. You ranted off about how you have to do all this work as a working mother and he doesn't help and you have to "remind" him to do things to help out. Now you're defending him as a hard worker? PLEASE
I don't have all the answers to successful relationships, and neither does any doctor on the planet, I'm just saying NAGGING is not something loving wifes (or husbands) do to their spouses. You said you effing NAG him, now you're saying you REMIND him. How about we give you another chance to change up your story. One minute you're complaining, now that people are calling out your BS you're defending.
I already feel sorry for your husband, I can't imagine what he deals with on a daily basis. He must be kicking himself that he supposedly "begged" for this.
Had you bothered to pay real attention to the direction of my posts, you would have realized that I was simply defending your attack of pretty much ALL women, how demeaning nagging/reminding a person to do something is, etc. Having a spouse who doesn't always do what they say they're going to do is not necessarily a reason to kick their butts to the curb. Nor is it a sign that a person is a lousy judge of character for being with an imperfect person. In order to have a healthy relationship, both parties need to do inventories of the pros and cons of that relationship...and to love each other in spite of their imperfections. You are clearly very inexperienced in all of these areas and clearly do not understand, personally, anything else I might have to say....this post was simply to clarify something for other posters here...certainly not to evoke more personal attacks from you. Although my "hellion" side would love to come out and play....I think I'll behave and end it here. LOL
Edit: You know, I'm back. The reason I am back on here is to tell you that you have done a whole lot of husbands and "mates" a great service. After reading your posts/responses, I have a renewed appreciation for my husband. He truly is a strong, macho, sweet and highly intelligent man...graduated college 15 years ago with a 3.92 GPA (after being reminded/nagged by his wife about how smart he was and how he needed to go back to school and get degreed so that he could change professions...something he has never been more than ecstatic about), and knows how blessed he is to have what he has. He is also the kind of person who would definitely tell you how NOT sorry for you he is. He would tell you that you are a loser and that's why you are so bitter about relationships....because no decent woman would want you. Me? I feel sorry for you. I have 3 sons, 2 of them are over 18...and it would break my heart if any of them shared your attitude and were destined to live miserable, lonely lives. It takes posters like you to cause some of us women to be ever more grateful to have the great guys we have. So, thank you.
Last edited by beachmel; 11-17-2009 at 10:34 AM..
Reason: Thank you!
You're the one that said he was lazy and doens't get up off his butt. You ranted off about how you have to do all this work as a working mother and he doesn't help and you have to "remind" him to do things to help out. Now you're defending him as a hard worker? PLEASE
I don't have all the answers to successful relationships, and neither does any doctor on the planet, I'm just saying NAGGING is not something loving wifes (or husbands) do to their spouses. You said you effing NAG him, now you're saying you REMIND him. How about we give you another chance to change up your story. One minute you're complaining, now that people are calling out your BS you're defending.
I already feel sorry for your husband, I can't imagine what he deals with on a daily basis. He must be kicking himself that he supposedly "begged" for this.
Ah......just as I thought...did a little looking....Yeah, I have a son YOUR age. So young, so naive....so sure you know all the answers. LOL Ah...and yet one day you look back and say.....OMG! are you kidding me? I actually FELT that way. Good luck in your future little guy.
OMG are you kidding???? HA!!!! This reminds me of my dad SO much. My mom is the worst nag in the world, but my dad is the biggest procrastinator, and tight as a tick! He would chew her out for a month if she HIRED someone to do something that he was capable of doing. But if she never said anything to him about getting things done, the damn house would fall down and the tires would be bald on the cars.
Sorry, I know not all men are like this (thank GOD! ) but I know several women that have hubbies that are EXACTLY like this. And my dad is one of them.
Mans got to know his limitations. I know what I'm good at and not good at and putting tools in my hands isn't a wise thing to do. Some things are best handled by professionals.
The way I see it is a trade off as you could spend all your spare time fixing things or hire help and have some time off.
As I said if there is so much to do then wifey needs to simplify her life.
Ah......just as I thought...did a little looking....Yeah, I have a son YOUR age. So young, so naive....so sure you know all the answers. LOL Ah...and yet one day you look back and say.....OMG! are you kidding me? I actually FELT that way. Good luck in your future little guy.
Don't confuse me with your naive child you've failed to raise to be a mature and knowledgable adult like my parents raised in me.
Second, it seems like you're over-convincing yourself of your wonderful marriage. Honestly, I don't care, and no one else cares whether your marriage is great or not. I just say nagging in the manner that I define it is not an act of love, and I would never put up with it, and I feel sorry for men that do. If they're lazy then they have things they need to change, but it doesn't justify verbal abuse.
But hey, keep making arguments for your marriage, because the only person who seems to be getting any sort of satisfaction from them is you.
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HA!!!! This reminds me of my dad SO much. 
My mom is the worst nag in the world, but my dad is the biggest procrastinator, and tight as a tick! He would chew her out for a month if she HIRED someone to do something that he was capable of doing. But if she never said anything to him about getting things done, the damn house would fall down and the tires would be bald on the cars.
