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Old 11-13-2009, 09:27 PM
 
5 posts, read 6,284 times
Reputation: 10
Default Can women be abusive?

I'm not sure if the abuser can be a woman. Never heard of this before but I have witnessed it myself two times.

Event 1: When I was a kid, I once caught my uncle with a bloody nose. He told everyone he got into an angry brawl at a club. I know my uncle isn't that type of person that goes clubbing and never saw him drunk. Could have sworn he was at home and he doesn't drink more than two glasses so his story didn't make sense at all. I was only 8 then, didn't suspected anything until years later.

Event 2: I was now spending my summer vacation with my aunt and uncle. This is before entering my senior year of high school. Anyways as I got home after a night's hang-out with my friends, there was an argument between them. I don't know what the argument was about but it was then I saw my aunt pushing my uncle against the screen door. I never said anything to anyone as I was thinking maybe it's just a regular argument couples have.

They have been married for almost 55 years now. I'm not sure if it's still happening. If anyone were to meet them, they appear to be the perfect couple. My aunt doesn't look like the type of person who's violent. I'm now convince she was the one that gave him that bloody nose that day and he covered up for her. I'm still having a hard time imagining my aunt would do that. Not too sure if that's even possible, that it's the woman being physical abusive while the husband keeps quiet about it. My uncle never told anyone and still doesn't. I'm starting to wonder if this always happened when they were married and if it continues or has stopped. How many more are out there or is my uncle the only single case?
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
6,734 posts, read 8,727,992 times
Reputation: 8737
Hell yes it happens. Men are less likely to report abuse than women. What guy wants to admit that he had to call protective services for protection from his wife's left hook?

Women are more often guilty of verbal or emotional abuse, but one way or another, there's plenty of it going on.
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:34 PM
 
10,447 posts, read 7,129,957 times
Reputation: 15454
I know a woman who hauled off and hit her husband with a golf club. Funny in theory, but not so much in practice.
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
4,116 posts, read 2,009,626 times
Reputation: 1495
Quote:
Originally Posted by IrwinRoder View Post
I'm not sure if the abuser can be a woman. Never heard of this before but I have witnessed it myself two times.

Event 1: When I was a kid, I once caught my uncle with a bloody nose. He told everyone he got into an angry brawl at a club. I know my uncle isn't that type of person that goes clubbing and never saw him drunk. Could have sworn he was at home and he doesn't drink more than two glasses so his story didn't make sense at all. I was only 8 then, didn't suspected anything until years later.

Event 2: I was now spending my summer vacation with my aunt and uncle. This is before entering my senior year of high school. Anyways as I got home after a night's hang-out with my friends, there was an argument between them. I don't know what the argument was about but it was then I saw my aunt pushing my uncle against the screen door. I never said anything to anyone as I was thinking maybe it's just a regular argument couples have.

They have been married for almost 55 years now. I'm not sure if it's still happening. If anyone were to meet them, they appear to be the perfect couple. My aunt doesn't look like the type of person who's violent. I'm now convince she was the one that gave him that bloody nose that day and he covered up for her. I'm still having a hard time imagining my aunt would do that. Not too sure if that's even possible, that it's the woman being physical abusive while the husband keeps quiet about it. My uncle never told anyone and still doesn't. I'm starting to wonder if this always happened when they were married and if it continues or has stopped. How many more are out there or is my uncle the only single case?

Yes I might be one of them sometimes
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:46 PM
 
5 posts, read 6,284 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
I know a woman who hauled off and hit her husband with a golf club. Funny in theory, but not so much in practice.
That would creep the hell out of me, if I saw a woman coming towards me with an object. As for my uncle, I think he must love her too much. If it's going on still, it's time he comes forward and speaks up.
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Old 11-13-2009, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,980 posts, read 2,481,200 times
Reputation: 2639
Yeah it happens. Many men will not hit a woman under any circumstances, and there are some crazy women who will get physically abusive knowing that there won't be repurcussions because few men will admit that it happens to them.
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Old 11-13-2009, 10:28 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
11,996 posts, read 12,094,044 times
Reputation: 13376
Men don't talk about it much, their afraid of ridicule.
Any man that can tolerate that kind of behavior from a woman and not
put a hand on her is a saint, its time for one of them to move on though,
I can almost guarantee it wont be the offender.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IrwinRoder View Post
I'm not sure if the abuser can be a woman. Never heard of this before but I have witnessed it myself two times.

Event 1: When I was a kid, I once caught my uncle with a bloody nose. He told everyone he got into an angry brawl at a club. I know my uncle isn't that type of person that goes clubbing and never saw him drunk. Could have sworn he was at home and he doesn't drink more than two glasses so his story didn't make sense at all. I was only 8 then, didn't suspected anything until years later.

Event 2: I was now spending my summer vacation with my aunt and uncle. This is before entering my senior year of high school. Anyways as I got home after a night's hang-out with my friends, there was an argument between them. I don't know what the argument was about but it was then I saw my aunt pushing my uncle against the screen door. I never said anything to anyone as I was thinking maybe it's just a regular argument couples have.

They have been married for almost 55 years now. I'm not sure if it's still happening. If anyone were to meet them, they appear to be the perfect couple. My aunt doesn't look like the type of person who's violent. I'm now convince she was the one that gave him that bloody nose that day and he covered up for her. I'm still having a hard time imagining my aunt would do that. Not too sure if that's even possible, that it's the woman being physical abusive while the husband keeps quiet about it. My uncle never told anyone and still doesn't. I'm starting to wonder if this always happened when they were married and if it continues or has stopped. How many more are out there or is my uncle the only single case?
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Old 11-13-2009, 10:39 PM
 
7,826 posts, read 4,792,221 times
Reputation: 6132
Oh wow.. what a topic. I don't like to talk about this much because I don't like to speak ill of my parents or the dead (both are dead now), but whenever this comes up I feel it is my duty to share my stories to shed some light on this.

Yes, women can be physically abusive. My mom physically abused my dad. One of my earliest memories is her choking him out. He was gasping for breath and telling her that he was dying. My dad wasn't the type to hit a woman ... and for a woman, my mom was tough .. grew up fighting, so she could be physically imposing/intimidating when she needed to be.

It was real. It was ugly. It happens. I don't think it's nearly as widespread as male on female violence because men are just more violent (physically) then women in general, but it's out there. If you see a case where you suspect a man is being abused by his wife or girlfriend, you should probably talk to him about it. Something is probably going on there.
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Old 11-13-2009, 11:36 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,779,228 times
Reputation: 11309
My neighbour in my kiddo years had an abusive wife. She pretty much ran the house and terrorized it. I have seen that man many a time with a black eye or a plastered nose.

He once told my Dad how she picked a fight from the outside when he was inside the bathroom. He engaged her verbally drawing strength from the fact that he is confined in safety. She broke the door open and jumped in to land some blows
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:29 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,924,256 times
Reputation: 6094
most definitely.

i lived with it for 10 years.
physical violence, mental abuse, controlling, manipulating.
she knew i wouldn't hit her, and used it to her advantage. several times i was assaulted with heavy objects, including once having a tv thrown at my head !
i didn't report any of it, because i didn't think of it as abuse. i thought we were just having "a fight" when it happened.

then add on the lying, cheating (many times).

it goes on alright, but as men, we're expected to be the big strong ones, and often if we tell anyone, they don't take us seriously.
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