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I have to disagree with the OP. I think the reason you are so taken with Asian or foreign women is because they see you as something different and they are quenching their curiosity or preference for someone who is not Asian. I'm sure there are just as many Asian women over there who would not give you the time of day and strike you as rude or cold. The ones who could care less about your nationality are the ones who you'd probably find very similar to the American women who you haven't hit it off with. I've lived overseas before and most of the women who prefered to date American men had a certain "groupie" quality/mentality about them.
Nope, it's just American culture. Like I said before, I've traveled around to other continents and experienced the same thing there. The women, and also the men usually, are much more friendly, warm, approachable, and trustworthy.
I do not particularly like Asian women. My favorite women are South American actually. I happen to be in Asia right now, that's all. There are some guys out there with a fetish for Asian women but i'm not one of them.
Well, I have a novel idea for the OP and all the guys here on this thread who agree with him: Stay over there, or go over there, as the case may be. I'd guess that the reason you guys have problems with American women is because many of us are not dependent on you for our money, or our well being, nor do we want to look like 12 year old boys because enjoy our womenly curves: What we need from men is simply to be an honest man, a faithful and trustworth partner, who is happy within himself, not concerned with what their pals think, who is not threatened or lacking in self esteem and need us to make them feel like "beeg, stroung man"...
So, uh, Buh Bye...
I have been living overseas for a while now. Aside from a brief return to the US earlier this year, i've been overseas for a few years.
I am living in Asia. There are not many westerners or Americans at all around here. Percentage-wise, this area must be about 0.01% westerners. I almost never speak face to face with other westerners. I occasionally see one on the street, but that's about it.
I do not have any western friends. All of my friends out here speak English as their second language. They are all Asians and a couple Russians I know.
I also usually date the local Asian women around here too. I find them to be much more appealing than American women. They are much more feminine, more warm and caring, more comfortable to be around, and in general they are just more enjoyable to spend time with. They are much more reliable and dependable as friends, much more of a stable and solid friendship can be had with them. They will usually be your true friend without being a totally selfish flake.
I decided to try dating an American woman again though, so I set up a date over the internet. She was some woman who just moved out here from the midwest.
I met her and went on the date, and it reminded me all over again of why I do not really like American women.
She was judging me the whole time. Asking me questions about my life and my goals. Not because she was really interested in me, but moreso because she was trying to size me up and find out what my status is to her.
Even though I am making good money and I am happy with life and I enjoy life. She kept acting like I should be doing more with myself, and this was our first date! It felt halfway like a date and halfway like a job interview. A normal vibe when hanging out with American women.....
Her entire demeanor was so serious. I was trying to smile and be warm and just be real with her. But she had her guard up the whole time and wouldn't just trust me and loosen up. It was like a cold, invisible wall was between us. Another typical trait of American women....
Last but not least. She was a BIG woman. Another typical trait of American women....
When the date ended, I felt like I had just gotten done doing business at the bank, or like I just had a job interview, or maybe like I just had a meeting at work.... it felt like a professional meeting. It did not feel like a warm and real connection with another human being. Which is what a date should be.
The thing that struck me the most was that this woman did not have very much going for her at all. Yet she was judging ME so hard. Why do American women do this so often? They expect the man they are with to be absolutely perfect, even if they are a mess.
I think I will go back to being the only North American in my world. And i'm just fine with that. I'll hang out with some Americans as friends if the opportunity comes up. Hanging out with other American guys is cool. But dating American women is usually a losing bet.
The local Asian women here are SOOOOOO much more warm, personable, understanding and HUMAN. They make me feel the love, instead of the uptight icyness. They are not the masculine machine-like beasts that American women these days have become.
It's not just Asian women though. It was the same story in the other continents i've visited. The women are just more warm, more fun, and more cool.
Thank you very much.
you have been away from home too long. you have forgotten what it is like. you will not be able to accept what you did b4. you were born in america but when you get back, if its more than 5 years-- you will be a foreigner in your own country. this will not change or go away. welcome to my world.
And one last thing: did you ever stop to think that your American date may have behaved like that with you because she was just not that in to you"? Perhaps she stayed for the entire date and talked with you because she was in a new country and didn't have that blessed best friend to "emergency call" her 1/2 an hour into the date so that she could make a civilized get-a-way?
Even if you aren't into someone, what's the point of being cold and rude? Why nt just be nice and friendly still? There's no reason to totally go cold and be rude just because you aren't totally into a person.
Since I don't date women (straight lady and all), I find it interesting that so many men view American women as asking about your status, job, etc, only to see how you can stack up.
I am not in the dating game anymore, but whenever I asked about a man's job, it was to see....drum roll please.....what he does with most of his days. It is an easy question to ask that can lead to more questions, and possibly find a connection. When I asked about what kind of car he drove, it was because I genuinely have an interest in cars. Granted, if he says "I have a 1987 Geo Metro", I probably wouldn't follow that up with too many other questions relating to his car because...well, what else can you ask about a Geo Metro? Rather, if he responds with some kind of truck, I could ask if he takes it offroading. That is an interest of mine, so then I can see if we have something in common. Just an example of how those questions are not ALWAYS a woman trying to see if you stack up to her lifestyle expectations.
I am sure a lot of women out there DO judge based on jobs and salary. But how many American men also judge women based on their appearance? And no, I don't mean in the "well I have to be attracted to someone" camp. I mean....have you ever known a man to BE attracted to a woman, but will not be seen with her because she isn't fitting of his image? I have. I've been that woman that a man cares about, will be with, has a lot of fun with....but won't take her out, won't be her man. It was because I wasn't a skinny, bleached blond, typical Southern CA girl. I saw his type by the girls he WOULD hang out with in public. And yet, with me, he laughed harder, we talked more, and had a better connection than with those girls. But, I was the chubby girl that would have wrecked his image. For shame on him.
Men can be just as guilty as women in picking partners only because of how they can justify themselves through their partners assets. Whether those assets are looks, prestigious jobs, bank accounts, whatever. I only have experience with American men, so I couldn't comment on foreign men...and definitely not foreign women Those are just my insights into how people can judge on both sides, so don't put it all on women.
Since I don't date women (straight lady and all), I find it interesting that so many men view American women as asking about your status, job, etc, only to see how you can stack up.
I am not in the dating game anymore, but whenever I asked about a man's job, it was to see....drum roll please.....what he does with most of his days. It is an easy question to ask that can lead to more questions, and possibly find a connection. When I asked about what kind of car he drove, it was because I genuinely have an interest in cars. Granted, if he says "I have a 1987 Geo Metro", I probably wouldn't follow that up with too many other questions relating to his car because...well, what else can you ask about a Geo Metro? Rather, if he responds with some kind of truck, I could ask if he takes it offroading. That is an interest of mine, so then I can see if we have something in common. Just an example of how those questions are not ALWAYS a woman trying to see if you stack up to her lifestyle expectations.
I am sure a lot of women out there DO judge based on jobs and salary. But how many American men also judge women based on their appearance? And no, I don't mean in the "well I have to be attracted to someone" camp. I mean....have you ever known a man to BE attracted to a woman, but will not be seen with her because she isn't fitting of his image? I have. I've been that woman that a man cares about, will be with, has a lot of fun with....but won't take her out, won't be her man. It was because I wasn't a skinny, bleached blond, typical Southern CA girl. I saw his type by the girls he WOULD hang out with in public. And yet, with me, he laughed harder, we talked more, and had a better connection than with those girls. But, I was the chubby girl that would have wrecked his image. For shame on him.
Men can be just as guilty as women in picking partners only because of how they can justify themselves through their partners assets. Whether those assets are looks, prestigious jobs, bank accounts, whatever. I only have experience with American men, so I couldn't comment on foreign men...and definitely not foreign women Those are just my insights into how people can judge on both sides, so don't put it all on women.
American male culture is similar. There is a lot of rudeness, coldness, a fear of showing emotions, and materialism.
Like I said, I am a straight man who dates women so I focused on women here.
American women in particular have some traits that many men find unattractive though. And when most American guys start to travel the world they cannot believe how much better the dating scene is just about everywhere else.
It's just the truth. Many American women will act like beasts and then say that it's because they are "strong and independent".
They are confusing callousness with independance, and they are confusing a total lack of femininity with strength.
Good thing I've been off the dating scene for 20+ years because I may not do well with being quizzed. On second thought it sounds if both parties are to damned sensitive:
Woman: So what do you do for a living?
Man: WTF is that supposed to mean?!!! What are you some kind of gold digger?!!!!
Man: What do you do for for a living then?!
Woman: WTH?!! What are you, some kind of momma's boy living still living at home looking for a woman to sponge off?!!!
Closing scene: They simultaneously receive the 'emergency' phone call bail out.
I'd never get a "bailout" phone call. I think it's rude to have your cell phone on while on a date. Your attention should be on the other person. If things aren't working well, say your goodbyes and leave. You're not obligated to spend several hours with the person.
I'd never get a "bailout" phone call. I think it's rude to have your cell phone on while on a date. Your attention should be on the other person. If things aren't working well, say your goodbyes and leave. You're not obligated to spend several hours with the person.
Pretty much you are right.
However for first dates I'd prefer sitting in a Martin Baker Zero Zero ejection seat. Pull the handle between your legs or over your head, explosive bolts blow the roof off the cafe, the chair rockets upwards 200ft, parachute deploys and you float to safety. .9 seconds from ejection initiation to rocket motor flying you upwards and away.
Stalker date follows you outside to your car and gets your plate number, eh?
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