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Old 11-16-2009, 05:08 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,498,975 times
Reputation: 9174

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I have ignored my instincts and better judgment most of my life. Thinking back, just about every person I felt poorly about turned out to be a huge disappointment or worse. I've been learning, over the last few years, to pay attention to these feelings while trying to maintain a balanced approach and view.

I was away this weekend with the guy I am dating. We met up with some of his friends and co-workers. One in particular, a woman I have met a few times before, was also there. I really have no reason to dislike her; she has done nothing to me. But there is something nagging at me about her that I pick up on every time I see her. There's a certain disingenuous, sneakiness about her; it's dark. I've felt this way from the moment I met her. I don't treat her any differently and, until she does something to offend me, it will stay that way.

Can anyone relate? I'm not talking about catty, estrogenic pettiness or paranoia. Just really bad vibes. Do you believe in them? Do you pay attention?
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Old 11-16-2009, 05:17 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,290 posts, read 15,236,602 times
Reputation: 6658
A lot of times a 'bad vibe' is caused because the person reminds you of someone else. Or perhaps the way in which you met them is similar to the way in which you met another person who you have a bad memory of.

The human mind is really good at recognizing patterns, even when there isn't one there.

You brain processes millions of bits of information per second and compares this information to your memory to make sense of the world. If there is anything about a person or situation that is familiar those feelings will be brought up.

Think of the world as a big one of these.



Alone, it has no meaning. It is YOU that puts the meaning to it.
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Old 11-16-2009, 05:18 AM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,103,262 times
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Get the book "The Gift of Fear" By Gavin De Becker it talks about this very thing and there was another thread on this very subject not too long ago.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/relat...86053-why.html
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Old 11-16-2009, 05:43 AM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 12,633,530 times
Reputation: 9547
Yes, I can relate. I used to ignore it, but that proved to be an unwise course of action. I've learned that my gut instincts are usually correct, so I take note of it and proceed with that info in the back of my mind.
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Old 11-16-2009, 06:47 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,058 posts, read 18,229,834 times
Reputation: 37120
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I have ignored my instincts and better judgment most of my life. Thinking back, just about every person I felt poorly about turned out to be a huge disappointment or worse. I've been learning, over the last few years, to pay attention to these feelings while trying to maintain a balanced approach and view.

I was away this weekend with the guy I am dating. We met up with some of his friends and co-workers. One in particular, a woman I have met a few times before, was also there. I really have no reason to dislike her; she has done nothing to me. But there is something nagging at me about her that I pick up on every time I see her. There's a certain disingenuous, sneakiness about her; it's dark. I've felt this way from the moment I met her. I don't treat her any differently and, until she does something to offend me, it will stay that way.

Can anyone relate? I'm not talking about catty, estrogenic pettiness or paranoia. Just really bad vibes. Do you believe in them? Do you pay attention?
I've learned the hard way, through many situations in the past, to trust that "lightbulb" when it suddenly comes on. It has yet to be wrong!
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:12 AM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,365,699 times
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perhaps a lack of confidence is key.

slights should be like water off a duck's back.
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:22 AM
 
Location: MN
314 posts, read 717,769 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunnydee View Post
Yes, I can relate. I used to ignore it, but that proved to be an unwise course of action. I've learned that my gut instincts are usually correct, so I take note of it and proceed with that info in the back of my mind.
DOUBLE DITTO almost every time I ignored my gut it was proven correct. Women especially can be taken advantage of because we are taught to be "nice" when everything in us is screaming to "run away". I can always apologize if I am standoffish and wrong but sometimes the cost of being nice has been WAY too high!
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:29 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,764 posts, read 40,037,481 times
Reputation: 18066
My gut instincts about the new hires at work always has been right. And if I get bad vibes from a new acquaintance, I will be cautious around them and avoid them if need be. There are plenty of other people out there that don't give me bad vibes. No biggie for me, and honestly it doesn't and hasn't hurt those that I've decided not to associate with. Some of this is just avoiding future trouble and dramas, and other times it's just not really clicking with those people as in a personality clash thing.
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Old 11-16-2009, 08:05 AM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,365,699 times
Reputation: 1612
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I have ignored my instincts and better judgment most of my life. Thinking back, just about every person I felt poorly about turned out to be a huge disappointment or worse. I've been learning, over the last few years, to pay attention to these feelings while trying to maintain a balanced approach and view.

I was away this weekend with the guy I am dating. We met up with some of his friends and co-workers. One in particular, a woman I have met a few times before, was also there. I really have no reason to dislike her; she has done nothing to me. But there is something nagging at me about her that I pick up on every time I see her. There's a certain disingenuous, sneakiness about her; it's dark. I've felt this way from the moment I met her. I don't treat her any differently and, until she does something to offend me, it will stay that way.

Can anyone relate? I'm not talking about catty, estrogenic pettiness or paranoia. Just really bad vibes. Do you believe in them? Do you pay attention?
i think a lot of people get them. it's just instinct. which i find is generally correct.
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Old 11-16-2009, 08:15 AM
 
4,897 posts, read 18,445,777 times
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i do get those feelings, and i am usually right. i just try to stay away from them to be honest. usually these people feel that i am ignoring them and they in turn become bains of my existence. but i just cant help it! i dont want these people around me.
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