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The answer lies in the third sentence. Because she is attractive you subconsciously assumed her husband would be as well.
Had your friend been an ogre you wouldn't have been at all suprised.
You're right! And her personality is such that she is meticulous about everything she does. I really expected that the spouse would reflect the standards she sets for everything else. That's why it was a shock.
..hmmm...wonder what your SO's collegues think when they meet you..."well, she may not be fat, what a judgemental piece she is"...
How funny! There you are, judging me and even assuming or making up crap! If you had ANY clue about me, you'd know from my posts that I love my freedom and don't buy into marriage. In fact, I said as much on this very thread!
Sooooo, let me make this very plain for you, OK? I don't HAVE an SO, I don't WANT an SO, and it's partly because I have seen WAY too many disappointments and outright tragedies when people tie themselves inextricably to each other.
Oh, and you spelled "judgmental" and "colleagues" wrong. Judge that!
1) Why on earth do you care?
2) Don't you have anything better in life to do? I'm guessing not.
3) Methinks there are deeper reasons you don't have or can't get an SO and it's easier to judge other's relationships to take the pain and embarrassment away that you feel.
4) Yes, you ARE shallow. You've judged someone you don't know, judged a relationship you don't know and you've trashed someone who is probably a wonderful person because he doesn't fit YOUR picture of what's appropriate.
I'm sorry, you're disgusting. Mind your own business.
I sympathize. I have SLE (Lupus) with an overlap of Crohn's so I totally understand. I don't go out and don't let anyone near me during bad flares! I'm really, really vigilant about my weight and skin because of the prednisone and Lupus. I don't want to look like I feel!!! Totally off-topic but has your hubby tried Remicade infusions? They made a huge difference for me in controlling the Crohn's. There are other infusion therapies out now, too!
Yes, he was on Remicade (known by it's drug name Infliximab in England) for over a year at one point. His doctor said it was his last hope - if it didn't work, he'd need surgery. Luckily, it eventually started working but it was a gradual process. He's now in remission and not taking any medication (and he immediately started losing weight once the steroids were out of his system) but he still has pain and other problems on a daily basis. He has a pretty high tolerance for pain though so he still goes about his everyday life as best he can when he's having a flare up.
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The wife has never mentioned her husband having health problems. But when I met him, he didn't even say hello to me -- he just launched into questioning me about a sensitive problem I was facing. I thought that was super-rude and I was rather perturbed that she had even told him about it! Didn't leave a good impression.
Well, like I say, sometimes people are just socially awkward, who knows what he is like at home with his wife.
1) Why on earth do you care?
2) Don't you have anything better in life to do? I'm guessing not.
3) Methinks there are deeper reasons you don't have or can't get an SO and it's easier to judge other's relationships to take the pain and embarrassment away that you feel.
4) Yes, you ARE shallow. You've judged someone you don't know, judged a relationship you don't know and you've trashed someone who is probably a wonderful person because he doesn't fit YOUR picture of what's appropriate.
I'm sorry, you're disgusting. Mind your own business.
Interesting. You have just made FAR more nasty and disgusting "judgments" about me and my life than I ever said about the husband. Heh, and you've never even seen or met me.
Sorry, but saying someone is fat and unattractive isn't a "judgment" -- it's an OBSERVATION. What YOU have said about me is, indeed, a judgment because you are speculating about my life. So, why don't YOU get one of your own and lose a few, if that's what has your undies in a knot?
Americans have become obese and unhealthy. All of the outrage and denial here about obesity just FEEDS into the problem, pun intended.
I think it's pretty normal to assume that one's SO would be rather similar in appearance/education level/social adeptness, whatever. So it really comes as no surprise that anyone would go, "HUH???" when they are introduced to someone's SO, and they are the complete antithesis. I know I have thought the same thing.
That said, who knows why/how they are/got together? It's interesting to speculate about it, b/c to most of us, it doesn't make any sense. But only those 2 really know what is going on in their marriage, and the rest of us will just scratch our heads about it and wonder how it works.
I recently met the spouse of a colleague. I was SHOCKED!!! He is fat, had bad skin and an ugly face there is no way I'd want to wake up to every morning, and he was unpleasant and coarse, to boot! The colleague is attractive, nice, and really a good person. I know she's a devoted Christian, so I'm sure that's part of the equation but I'm wondering...
How on EARTH do you remain committed when your spouse has turned into a fat, unpleasant troll??? I'm not totally superficial, LOL. I've actually fallen for homely guys at times because they had absolutely wonderful qualities. But, to me, when someone lets himself or herself get obese, that shows a lack of self-respect and respect for one's partner, too. I can overlook a lot of things if the person is kind and talented, but obesity is something I can't abide.
What's up with this and what do y'all do about it?
I find it funny that some of you decided to attack me instead of answering the question. I'm simply being honest. I would have a big problem if my SO allowed himself to get obese and, if he refused to lose weight and get healthy, I probably would leave. To me, it indicates a lack of respect for oneself and one's loved ones. It says, "I don't care enough about myself or you to remain healthy and attractive." How on Earth can you have a healthy sex life if you have to play "find the genitalia?" Maybe it just happened so slowly over time she doesn't notice?
And to the person who said he was attracted to her and not to me, um, sorry to ruin your attack but I didn't meet the guy until recently.
Frankly, with all of the whining about cheating on this forum, I'll bet this is one of the causes of it. Finally SOMEONE on this forum is puting 2 and 2 together! People think that once the spouse is snagged and the ring is on the finger, they don't even have to TRY anymore. Physical appearance will start to go out the window at some point in everyone's lives and especially women (haven't you heard men get more attractive with age?), I just hope you can somehow find a way to break time and reality so you can uphold your argument. Assuming you AREN'T unattractive, you should probably try to get married ASAP and lock someone in otherwise if you wait to your 30's you may not ever find someone.
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People think that once the spouse is snagged and the ring is on the finger, they don't even have to TRY anymore. Physical appearance will start to go out the window at some point in everyone's lives and especially women (haven't you heard men get more attractive with age?), I just hope you can somehow find a way to break time and reality so you can uphold your argument. Assuming you AREN'T unattractive, you should probably try to get married ASAP and lock someone in otherwise if you wait to your 30's you may not ever find someone.
