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I am with you teatime. We all know that sex life is very important in a marriage, so I am surprised that everybody here is saying there are other qualities that should matter. No doubt but how about good healthy sex life?
I am with you teatime. We all know that sex life is very important in a marriage, so I am surprised that everybody here is saying there are other qualities that should matter. No doubt but how about good healthy sex life?
Ladybug, it seems like most of the people here who responded angrily at me are MEN. I suspect there's a double standard at play here. Women are expected to just accept the big beer guts or whatever other unflattering characteristics their men develop and not bat an eye. But if women gain a bunch of weight or don't take good care of themselves, then the men are on here complaining and asking if this would justify "getting it" somewhere else.
I've seen those threads here! And that's partly why I asked the question. Men don't seem to tolerate big flaws in their women -- and in more than 25 years of being an adult female, I've had many married men propositioning me and using that as an excuse. Oh, but let a MAN get large, unkempt and unpleasant and the women are expected to see beyond that and remain just as loving as ever or else they're "shallow." Uh-huh.
Regardless of the gender, I think it's ultimately uncaring to allow one's SO to live an unhealthy lifestyle without trying to help and do something about it.
Now some of us are just "pervs and weirdos"! NOT, I'd just like to judge you and see how you like it!
Oh, please. Every time you leave your home someone is looking at you and making judgments. I know that and accept that. If you can't, then you've got a problem.
But the bottom line is that I MAKE SURE I look good because I know that prospective employers, friends, and others form their initial impressions of you based on how you look. Even retailers profile their customers. If you look good and are well-dressed, then you get better service than if you are slovenly, fat, and unpleasant. That's the way the world works.
So, I'm used to being "judged" and it's always worked out in my favor. I use my appearance to my advantage. I suspect that is not the case with you, so you'd best look in the mirror honestly and get to work.
Oh, please. Every time you leave your home someone is looking at you and making judgments. I know that and accept that. If you can't, then you've got a problem.
But the bottom line is that I MAKE SURE I look good because I know that prospective employers, friends, and others form their initial impressions of you based on how you look. Even retailers profile their customers. If you look good and are well-dressed, then you get better service than if you are slovenly, fat, and unpleasant. That's the way the world works.
So, I'm used to being "judged" and it's always worked out in my favor. I use my appearance to my advantage. I suspect that is not the case with you, so you'd best look in the mirror honestly and get to work.
The two highlighted lines are so true. People judge others everywhere on looks, even in the church I have even overheard women comment on someone else or men doing the same. It's simply the status quo and one's gotta live with the fact that a good heart and great inner qualities are not visible like head hair.
Prospective employers are worse. How you dress and carry yourself goes a long way in landing the job, unless otherwise you are taking a telephonic interview. In my interviews, I had both. Telephone screening and they would fly me in to see me personally. (But I did go to one interview in shorts and a polo, coz I wanted to get rejected badly, and still got the job )
Agree. It shouldn't be news for an adult person, that world is cruel and everybody gets judged upon their looks. Even if some people find it wrong, that is how it works.. People are very judgemental for the most part and I find nothing wrong with that.
Oh, please. Every time you leave your home someone is looking at you and making judgments. I know that and accept that. If you can't, then you've got a problem.
But the bottom line is that I MAKE SURE I look good because I know that prospective employers, friends, and others form their initial impressions of you based on how you look. Even retailers profile their customers. If you look good and are well-dressed, then you get better service than if you are slovenly, fat, and unpleasant. That's the way the world works.
So, I'm used to being "judged" and it's always worked out in my favor. I use my appearance to my advantage. I suspect that is not the case with you, so you'd best look in the mirror honestly and get to work.
I have no problems....those that look for and find fault in others are the ones with problems.. And I'd say you are at the top of that pile!
I guess you are referring to that I am obese, well I'm not...
And I have hit a nerve with you...You can criticize others but you cant' take it if someone does the same to you..
You may have a serious mental problem if you have to put others down to make yourself feel better!
Ladybug, it seems like most of the people here who responded angrily at me are MEN. I suspect there's a double standard at play here. Women are expected to just accept the big beer guts or whatever other unflattering characteristics their men develop and not bat an eye. But if women gain a bunch of weight or don't take good care of themselves, then the men are on here complaining and asking if this would justify "getting it" somewhere else.
I've seen those threads here! And that's partly why I asked the question. Men don't seem to tolerate big flaws in their women -- and in more than 25 years of being an adult female, I've had many married men propositioning me and using that as an excuse. Oh, but let a MAN get large, unkempt and unpleasant and the women are expected to see beyond that and remain just as loving as ever or else they're "shallow." Uh-huh.
Regardless of the gender, I think it's ultimately uncaring to allow one's SO to live an unhealthy lifestyle without trying to help and do something about it.
"I was SHOCKED!!! He is fat, had bad skin and an ugly face there is no way I'd want to wake up to every morning, and he was unpleasant and coarse, to boot!"
Then how do you explain the two bolded areas? Lady you have a serious problem....I suggest you get help with it!
Ladybug, it seems like most of the people here who responded angrily at me are MEN.
I've seen those threads here! And that's partly why I asked the question. Men don't seem to tolerate big flaws in their women -- and in more than 25 years of being an adult female, I've had many married men propositioning me and using that as an excuse. Oh, but let a MAN get large, unkempt and unpleasant and the women are expected to see beyond that and remain just as loving as ever or else they're "shallow." Uh-huh.
Regardless of the gender, I think it's ultimately uncaring to allow one's SO to live an unhealthy lifestyle without trying to help and do something about it.
To answer your original question of "how does one handle this situation?"...
I read somewhere that if the answer to any of these three questions is no- then you keep silent.
1) Is is true?
2) Is it helpful?
3) Is it kind?
Oh, please. Every time you leave your home someone is looking at you and making judgments. I know that and accept that. If you can't, then you've got a problem.
But the bottom line is that I MAKE SURE I look good because I know that prospective employers, friends, and others form their initial impressions of you based on how you look. Even retailers profile their customers. If you look good and are well-dressed, then you get better service than if you are slovenly, fat, and unpleasant. That's the way the world works.
So, I'm used to being "judged" and it's always worked out in my favor. I use my appearance to my advantage. I suspect that is not the case with you, so you'd best look in the mirror honestly and get to work.
I use that to my advantage--I get them to leave me alone.
I've already said I have no problem with a women of "normal" weight. Size 12 to 14 if just fine with me. And that would mean she'd outweigh me. So--all men base their attraction on looks alone? No, not ALL of us do.
Oh, please. Every time you leave your home someone is looking at you and making judgments. I know that and accept that. If you can't, then you've got a problem.
But the bottom line is that I MAKE SURE I look good because I know that prospective employers, friends, and others form their initial impressions of you based on how you look. Even retailers profile their customers. If you look good and are well-dressed, then you get better service than if you are slovenly, fat, and unpleasant. That's the way the world works.
So, I'm used to being "judged" and it's always worked out in my favor. I use my appearance to my advantage. I suspect that is not the case with you, so you'd best look in the mirror honestly and get to work.
I'd rep you a hundred times for this, if I could.
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I have even overheard women comment on someone else or men doing the same. It's simply the status quo and one's gotta live with the fact that a good heart and great inner qualities are not visible like head hair.
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