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This is one of the reasons I'm so grateful that I'm not single anymore!
Why is it that so many girls and guys want someone who is already taken? Definitely not a good idea to do. And, I do like Dr. Phil! Some people just don't like being asked "what the heck are you doing to yourself?"
How and where did you meet this guy to begin with? I'm guessing his girlfriend doesn't know about you? Maybe he's stringing you along as a potential side-piece. Proceed with caution.
Aargh okay so I met this guy, He's great. Just amazing. Rare. He's just what I wanted. We text and talk a lot. I really thought he likes me. Then one day he told me he actually have a girlfriend. They've been together for a few years now. sigh. I was so disappointed when i found that out. but we're still really good friends. Amazing how close we've gotten within just one month. Just one month! If you see us together and what we talk about, you'd think we've known each other for years. We go hang out just the two of us, chat/text/talk until late at night. I'm not sure if his girlfriend actually knows. I know he told his girlfriend about me, his new friend, but I'm not sure if she knows everything. Or maybe she does.
Im really confused. I know I probably shouldnt let my feelings grow but I couldnt help it. When I try not to have any contact with him, he'll send me a text or call me and I'll be all soft again.
What should i do? Why is he being so nice?
Why if you now know he has a girlfriend are you still texting/chatting/seeing and talking to him knowing that you like him a lot? Would you like to have a boyfriend someday and have another girl do that to you? How would that make you feel? Your boyfriend texting,chatting it up seeing and talking to another girl out of the blue for what? Not nice. What on earth do you have that he needs to make you his friend? He is trying to be a player, play his girl and have you on the low. If that's how you get down that's on you. But think about it if someone did it to you and what you do will eventually come back to you someday.
Don't do to other's what you wouldn't want done to you.
I think you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. He may just be naturally charming and really likes you only as a friend. Some men have the capability to be friends with the opposite sex, especially if you are able understand/discuss topics with a man's point of view in mind. It makes conversations easy going for them.
I would suspect if he wanted more, he would have pushed the envelope by now and certainly would not have mentioned a girlfriend.
OK, this is something I've never understood, the mindset that unless a person is married, they are fair game to chase and pursue. Isn't there ANY respect for two people who are in a serious and committed relationship? Some of those connections lead to marriage, you know.
If I meet a guy and he is with a longtime girlfriend he is building a future with or feels serious about, I do not intrude. If any man would want to see ME while he is with a girlfriend he's supposedly committed to, I do not want to see HIM. This means he's incapable of showing his partner respect, openness and honesty and he'd do the same with me if we began dating. I don't want that in a partner and I don't have respect for those that lie like that, when there's no good reason to and they can just break up.
Now if a man leaves his partner, clears the slate and THEN pursues someone else, that's fine. He's a single man. But cheating is not something that just happens in marriage. It happens in serious non-marriage relationships too where people ARE building a connection.
Additionally, people who think marriage is the only valid committed relationship are saying that relationships of people who choose NOT to get married but are serious are fair game to intrude upon. I do not agree with this at all either.
Why if you now know he has a girlfriend are you still texting/chatting/seeing and talking to him knowing that you like him a lot? Would you like to have a boyfriend someday and have another girl do that to you? How would that make you feel? Your boyfriend texting,chatting it up seeing and talking to another girl out of the blue for what? Not nice. What on earth do you have that he needs to make you his friend? He is trying to be a player, play his girl and have you on the low. If that's how you get down that's on you. But think about it if someone did it to you and what you do will eventually come back to you someday.
Don't do to other's what you wouldn't want done to you.
Well said. Couldn't have put this any better. Men and women like this don't stop at all to think about angle.
The problem is the person intruding but it is namely the boyfriend or girlfriend who is allowing others to come in and disrupt their relationship for whatever reason. Disrespectful men/women wouldn't have a chance to hook any attached people if those people put down some boundaries and respected their relationships. They are essentially the gatekeepers of their relationships from any outside influences.
could be my boyfriend you're dealing with. So my first instinct is to get angry with you. It is difficult to be the girlfriend when he has a lot of females he texts with. However, you are actually hanging out with this man? And he is taken? Seems he wasn't upfront about his relationship, wanted to see how you felt , make sure he had you hooked before letting that cat out of the bag? How would you like to be the next giflfriend knowing he has female friends like this , who , of course will sooner or later come to like him becasue of the many qualities you see in the beginning? Can't you see the downside to this charming guy? Im guessing others have said similar things, but maybe not because they are probably not in a position similar to mine and will want to advise you and help you. Then again, Id say all advice should be same: if you can accept , later on, that he will continue to have female friends and know you'll start to wonder if they , too, have feelings for him, just as you do. hang around and go for it when time is right. But he seems sneaky to me. Maybe Im to close to the other side of a similar situation to be objective , just my 2cents.
1 month is enough to produce the "in love" chemical in your brain that you become addicted to. After about 18 to 24 months, you become immune to the addictive nature of this brain chemical.
Most people will get this in love brain chemical in the beginning of new relationships.
In the 1 month time you spent with each other, you were emotionally fulfilled by the very nature of your interaction with him. But alas, he has commitment elsewhere and it takes 2 to have a relationship to move forward. Thus you must choose to move on and find someone who can be that person to you. Good luck.
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