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Unread 11-24-2009, 06:04 AM
 
129 posts, read 288,217 times
Reputation: 107
Default how do you know if a guy likes you or hates you

but seriously, how do you know if a guy likes you.

Guy #1
Okay, there's this guy. I'm not really interested in him, but I just want to know if he's interested. So you're probaly wondering, if I'm not interested why do I care? Because the way I see it, based on the clues, he either likes me or he hates me. It's one or the other. And I'm just one of those people who can't stand people disliking me!!! LOL.

He never ever makes eye contact with me.
He never ever talks to me first (but he talks to other people). so he's not shy in general. But I do notice that he doesn't talk that much to girls but a lot to other guys. So is he shy only with girls? But he still talks to other girls a little at least. To me - none. Zero.
When I try to talk to him, he only says short answers and he like still doesn't make eye contact even when I'm talking directly to him.
And I don't even try to talk to him a lot or anything. Just like sometimes.

Okay like I guess for me, I make eye contact with people I'm talking to because I thought that was normal. Like if I say something to him, like he sort of looks to the side.

Okay so I'm like the "new girl". So everyone's really friendly and accomodating and stuff. But like he just like never even amkes any effort to be friends with me. He's never said more than a few words at a time to me. When I first met him, his friends said "this is [his name]". and he just nodded. whenever i ask him questions, he just answers like the basic answers. i mean he's polite and nice but brief. but the never asks me any questionws back or elaborates on his answers. So, I'm just like, whoa he either thinks i'm like a huge freak that he hates or he's really shy to me because he likes me?

what do you think? If he dislikes me, actually, that's fine too. But I just want to KNOW what's true.
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Unread 11-24-2009, 06:15 AM
 
176 posts, read 292,974 times
Reputation: 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by aek11 View Post
but seriously, how do you know if a guy likes you.

Guy #1
Okay, there's this guy. I'm not really interested in him, but I just want to know if he's interested. So you're probaly wondering, if I'm not interested why do I care? Because the way I see it, based on the clues, he either likes me or he hates me. It's one or the other. And I'm just one of those people who can't stand people disliking me!!! LOL.

He never ever makes eye contact with me.
He never ever talks to me first (but he talks to other people). so he's not shy in general. But I do notice that he doesn't talk that much to girls but a lot to other guys. So is he shy only with girls? But he still talks to other girls a little at least. To me - none. Zero.
When I try to talk to him, he only says short answers and he like still doesn't make eye contact even when I'm talking directly to him.
And I don't even try to talk to him a lot or anything. Just like sometimes.

Okay like I guess for me, I make eye contact with people I'm talking to because I thought that was normal. Like if I say something to him, like he sort of looks to the side.

Okay so I'm like the "new girl". So everyone's really friendly and accomodating and stuff. But like he just like never even amkes any effort to be friends with me. He's never said more than a few words at a time to me. When I first met him, his friends said "this is [his name]". and he just nodded. whenever i ask him questions, he just answers like the basic answers. i mean he's polite and nice but brief. but the never asks me any questionws back or elaborates on his answers. So, I'm just like, whoa he either thinks i'm like a huge freak that he hates or he's really shy to me because he likes me?

what do you think? If he dislikes me, actually, that's fine too. But I just want to KNOW what's true.
Hate is a strong word, and what he is showing isn't hate. He might like you, or he might not find you any interesting. But it's hard to dislike a person you don't know, and from what i read you two don't really know eachother too well.

My vote is that he is a very shy person. Have you two ever spoke when you were alone? As in just the two of you? When there are alot of people around the shy people tend to sit back and just do brief answers. Some have it easier when they are in public, some have it harder. So try talk with him alone, just the two of you and see how it goes.
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Unread 11-24-2009, 06:18 AM
 
16,175 posts, read 12,038,764 times
Reputation: 10968
speak with him one-on-one. group dynamics can get complicated.
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Unread 11-24-2009, 06:35 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,401,071 times
Reputation: 6058
i don't want to get your hopes up, but i can be like that with new people if i'm attracted to them.

i'm quite shy, so it takes me a while to be comfortable. it's almost like i try to be robotic to stop my body giving out signs of attraction !!

stick with it, see if you can get some quality "1 on 1" time with him, and see if he begins to open up to you.

if not, then he's probably just ignorant.
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Unread 11-24-2009, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Bucks County, PA
4,982 posts, read 5,556,293 times
Reputation: 5633
If he finds the "valley girl" usage of word "like" as annoying as I do, I'm guessing he dislikes you.

But there is no way to know without just asking him. I would just pull him aside and say something along the lines of "I noticed you're kind of cold with me - you avoid eye contact and barely speak to me but you're not like that with everyone else. Have I done something to offend you? I'd really like to make things more comfortable between us." I would not mention to him that you have considered the idea that he actually is attracted to you instead - that would come across as arrogant. Plus, if it's true, it might make him even more uncomfortable.
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Unread 11-24-2009, 07:05 AM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 2,281,975 times
Reputation: 1568
It sounds to me like he's shy. Probably moreso around girls and then even moreso around you because you're the "new girl."

It seems like you're more the outgoing type, asking him questions and trying to engage him in conversation. At the same time, you're wondering to yourself - "Does he like me? Does he hate me?" Sometimes those burning questions in our head come across in how we talk to someone. Kind of like when you're nervous and you say the wrong thing or just keep talking. Know what I mean? So when you do talk to him, get the "does he like me or not" questions out of your head and see if it makes a difference in how he reacts to you. Another approach would be to ask less questions and do more talking. Talk about something you know would be of interest to him. Nobody likes being bombarded with a bunch of questions, like you're trying to investigate everything about them

BUT - if you're not interested in him and are only looking to find out if he likes you or hates you...your time could probably be served better in getting to know people you are actually interested in. Those types of games are better left to the grade school playground
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Unread 11-24-2009, 07:16 AM
 
Location: Incognito
6,988 posts, read 11,706,911 times
Reputation: 5237
If you're not interested why bother? Why such a curiosity?
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Unread 11-24-2009, 07:48 AM
 
1,860 posts, read 2,317,793 times
Reputation: 1335
Quote:
Originally Posted by aek11 View Post
but seriously, how do you know if a guy likes you.

Guy #1
Okay, there's this guy. I'm not really interested in him, but I just want to know if he's interested. So you're probaly wondering, if I'm not interested why do I care? Because the way I see it, based on the clues, he either likes me or he hates me. It's one or the other. And I'm just one of those people who can't stand people disliking me!!! LOL.

He never ever makes eye contact with me.
He never ever talks to me first (but he talks to other people). so he's not shy in general. But I do notice that he doesn't talk that much to girls but a lot to other guys. So is he shy only with girls? But he still talks to other girls a little at least. To me - none. Zero.
When I try to talk to him, he only says short answers and he like still doesn't make eye contact even when I'm talking directly to him.
And I don't even try to talk to him a lot or anything. Just like sometimes.

Okay like I guess for me, I make eye contact with people I'm talking to because I thought that was normal. Like if I say something to him, like he sort of looks to the side.

Okay so I'm like the "new girl". So everyone's really friendly and accomodating and stuff. But like he just like never even amkes any effort to be friends with me. He's never said more than a few words at a time to me. When I first met him, his friends said "this is [his name]". and he just nodded. whenever i ask him questions, he just answers like the basic answers. i mean he's polite and nice but brief. but the never asks me any questionws back or elaborates on his answers. So, I'm just like, whoa he either thinks i'm like a huge freak that he hates or he's really shy to me because he likes me?

what do you think? If he dislikes me, actually, that's fine too. But I just want to KNOW what's true.
Unless he's very strange or unless you rubbed him the wrong way, there is no logical reason he could have to hate you.

Perhaps he's intimidated by you, or perhaps he saw you do something (not necessarily to him) which made him carry a negative impression of you.

Or, he likes you - and feels uncomfortable or even nervous around you. At 36, yes it still happens to me. I sometimes feel uneasy or awkward around women I'm very attracted to and "compensate" by ignoring them or being cold - because I don't want them to nice I like them.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Hopefully in time you'll break in. A lot of folks can be cliquish and maybe that's what he is, as you are the "new girl."
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Unread 11-24-2009, 07:52 AM
 
4,892 posts, read 11,007,155 times
Reputation: 3592
he likes you
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Unread 11-24-2009, 08:17 AM
 
6,585 posts, read 5,020,988 times
Reputation: 5681
Do you have a controlling personality?

I know people like that. They feel they need to be liked by everyone. If they don't like them then they will go out to hurt them or discredit them.

This guy doesn't want to bother talking to you for some reason. Deal with it. You could approach him but I think he will shy away.

Body language is a big thing. I always had a scowl on my face and people would get the impression I was mean. Untrue. Deep thinker who isn't out to make facial contact with every person to give them a smile. Over the years I have toned down though and have had more people approach me.

This guy sounds shy. That's all. Alittle uncomfortable around women. Maybe attractive women. I don't know. If you are interested in getting together with him to get to know him better then that's up to you. Just do it for the benefit of becoming friends with him. Make sure you are not doing it just to find out what his deal is and if he "hates" you as you say then to get revenge. There are people like that out there called "Passive-aggressive" people.
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