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Old 11-29-2009, 04:06 PM
FBJ
 
32,732 posts, read 21,001,780 times
Reputation: 7046
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jays1983 View Post
I agree it would be tough to date these days without any income. For sure.

For the average man, its tough to date WITH INCOME so you know that without income dating should never enter your mind-lol
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Old 11-29-2009, 04:15 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,727,336 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bones100 View Post
It doesn't look like he's deflecting responsibility at all. Why can't people accept that he, along with millions of other people in this country hit a severe run of bad luck and may need some sort of helping hand, or a confidence boost? Instead, the American (or Republican) way is to blame what is often the victim and give them a swift kick to the you know whats when they're down, rather than try to understand how it is to walk in another person's shoes.

Honestly, it's a wonder that the suicide rate in this country isn't considerably higher. It seems that it's either succeed or fail here, win or lose., with no tolerance for any form of weakness.

Exactly.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3OFWYb4GWk
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Old 11-29-2009, 04:48 PM
Status: "Humming "Suicide is painless"" (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,246 posts, read 15,049,789 times
Reputation: 10756
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jays1983 View Post
Nah, it ain't all about the money always. The main thing, when you're down on your luck, your insecurities and disappointments tend to permeate outward and females can smell that **** a mile away, lol. Like I said, just work your butt off and get right with yourself first.
Yup. When we're not feeling good about ourselves, others can sense it. It doesn't feel good to be out of work and moving back in with mom and dad. On the bright side, if that did feel good and you oozed confidence and happiness because of it, then there'd really be something wrong with you and we'd stear clear even more.

If you want to meet women in a bad economy, hang out in places that don't cost money to go to. Find a singles group in a church. Take up an inexpensive hobby (like hiking or biking) and join a group. One problem is that the normal venue for getting to know each other is talking over dinner in a public place (read safe place). You can't very well invite a woman over for dinner you just met. That's kind of scary. We want to get to know you before we agree to be alone with you at your place.

It's not greed for most of us (there are some). It's your attitude and concerns that not being able to spend anything will result in not being out in public during the get to know you phase. For the first several dates, I'd much rather go out. I want to be on neutral ground. If I've just met you, I'll probably meet you at the restaurant so I have my car in case I need to make a quick get away.
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Old 11-29-2009, 05:02 PM
Status: "Humming "Suicide is painless"" (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Whoville....
21,246 posts, read 15,049,789 times
Reputation: 10756
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bones100 View Post
It doesn't look like he's deflecting responsibility at all. Why can't people accept that he, along with millions of other people in this country hit a severe run of bad luck and may need some sort of helping hand, or a confidence boost? Instead, the American (or Republican) way is to blame what is often the victim and give them a swift kick to the you know whats when they're down, rather than try to understand how it is to walk in another person's shoes.

Honestly, it's a wonder that the suicide rate in this country isn't considerably higher. It seems that it's either succeed or fail here, win or lose., with no tolerance for any form of weakness.
People may need a confidence boost but they're not going to find it in the dating scene. They need to look elsewhere.

Think about it. What are we doing when dating except trying on potential mates. If you're not in position to take care of yourself, how can you take care of someone else? I really question why someone who is down on their luck is looking to date. There's really nowhere for the relationship to go until their luck changes.

That said, I once went out with a guy who lived in a tent in his brother's back yard. Once. Sitting in his brother's back yard wasn't much of a date and it was depressing.
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Old 11-29-2009, 05:23 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,727,336 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
People may need a confidence boost but they're not going to find it in the dating scene. They need to look elsewhere.

Think about it. What are we doing when dating except trying on potential mates. If you're not in position to take care of yourself, how can you take care of someone else? I really question why someone who is down on their luck is looking to date. There's really nowhere for the relationship to go until their luck changes.

That said, I once went out with a guy who lived in a tent in his brother's back yard. Once. Sitting in his brother's back yard wasn't much of a date and it was depressing.
I see your point IT but "mates" is all in the eye of the beholder. There are many poor women who really have no desire to meet a guy who has money; they just want a GOOD GUY! Also, there are many women who have money and they don't care to meet their equal they just want a GOOD GUY!

This whole idea that you should not date until you have x amount of money or assets gets just ridiculous at times. If that's the case, then most Americans need to get out of the dating pool and let me swim alone because most Americans are up to there necks in debt and they have little or NO savings.
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Old 11-29-2009, 05:33 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,680 posts, read 20,795,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
I see your point IT but "mates" is all in the eye of the beholder. There are many poor women who really have no desire to meet a guy who has money; they just want a GOOD GUY! Also, there are many women who have money and they don't care to meet their equal they just want a GOOD GUY!

This whole idea that you should not date until you have x amount of money or assets gets just ridiculous at times. If that's the case, then most Americans need to get out of the dating pool and let me swim alone because most Americans are up to there necks in debt and they have little or NO savings.
Morphous01 - How can you say that "many" women would feel this way? Where do you get your numbers from?

And you're a man, and what you are saying is more in line with the way a MAN thinks. men don't care as much about the wage-earning capabilities of their dates, because traditionally, men are the breadwinners and husbands take financial care of their wives and children. And most women don't just want a "nice man" to hang out with, they want a nice guy that will marry them who they can start a family with. Remember than most women have those pesky biological clocks ticking away.

Otherwise, again the age of the people involved have a lot to do with how much they care about how much their date or s/o makes. When one is a teenager or young adult, what their date makes is of little concern to them. But after a few relationships, I'd say that most women that are older than 25 and on through their prime time window of childbearing years, those women do care very much how much their boyfriends make. The O.P. is 32 years old and an unemployed pizza delivery man with a pile of student loan debt... so really lousy potential husband material. And a rich woman would have to really like the O.P. in order to consider marrying him and taking on his student loan debts.
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Old 11-29-2009, 05:45 PM
 
3,220 posts, read 3,806,807 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
For every 1 girl that thinks you're a bum for living with your parents and having no job there are 2 girls out there who with fall madly in love with you despite your situation. Hell, there are women out there who have money and they will even TAKE CARE OF YOU!! I have seen it!

I don't know what it is with guys, they get turned down by ONE girl and they assume ALL other girls are the same.
I had to control the beverage in my mouth when I read this.

Anyway, let me know if they exist in NJ and if so where (NOT) - lol!
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Old 11-29-2009, 06:47 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,727,336 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Morphous01 - How can you say that "many" women would feel this way? Where do you get your numbers from?
My numbers come from the mean streets. I would not have believed it if I had not seen it myself.


Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
And most women don't just want a "nice man" to hang out with, they want a nice guy that will marry them who they can start a family with. Remember than most women have those pesky biological clocks ticking away.
Not all women are like that, some women don't want any kids others after the 2nd-3rd divorce are just looking for male company but nothing serious. The op is in his 30s so there are TONS of single hot 35-45 year olds who are alone and in need of a man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Otherwise, again the age of the people involved have a lot to do with how much they care about how much their date or s/o makes. When one is a teenager or young adult, what their date makes is of little concern to them. But after a few relationships, I'd say that most women that are older than 25 and on through their prime time window of childbearing years, those women do care very much how much their boyfriends make. The O.P. is 32 years old and an unemployed pizza delivery man with a pile of student loan debt... so really lousy potential husband material. And a rich woman would have to really like the O.P. in order to consider marrying him and taking on his student loan debts.

And there are women today who have nothing to offer other then what's between their legs so it goes both ways.

Regardless Miu, I understand your point. The only thing I'm trying to get thorough to you is that not all women look at men as mobile banks. So if I was the OP, I would look for a woman who could take care of herself and does not want (or have) any children. That could at least offset his financial situation.
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Old 11-29-2009, 07:05 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,727,336 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njguy View Post
I had to control the beverage in my mouth when I read this.

Anyway, let me know if they exist in NJ and if so where (NOT) - lol!
I'm sorry, I should have put up a disclaimer. This only works if you are an above average handsome guy. Just think about it, if you come to the table with a financial deficit you need to have good looks/charm to offset the financial situation, for example.

This is my whole point with guys who cry about "I'm broke and that's why I can't get a girl!"... Geez, even if you gave those guys money they still probably would not find a girl simply because they have no communication skills.

Hell, don't people watch the news? There are guys in prison, some for LIFE (no future!!!) but they still manage to get girls on the outside to fall in love with them, and so forth.... It never fails, some guy kills a bunch of people then the news report says the killer who is now locked up gets tons of mail from women around the world... Some eventually get married....
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Old 11-29-2009, 07:24 PM
 
26 posts, read 6,390 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
I'm sorry, I should have put up a disclaimer. This only works if you are an above average handsome guy. Just think about it, if you come to the table with a financial deficit you need to have good looks/charm to offset the financial situation, for example.

This is my whole point with guys who cry about "I'm broke and that's why I can't get a girl!"... Geez, even if you gave those guys money they still probably would not find a girl simply because they have no communication skills.

Hell, don't people watch the news? There are guys in prison, some for LIFE (no future!!!) but they still manage to get girls on the outside to fall in love with them, and so forth.... It never fails, some guy kills a bunch of people then the news report says the killer who is now locked up gets tons of mail from women around the world... Some eventually get married....
Like I said in another thread, women have equality now, so I don't understand the constant harping on about "security" and all that BS. Equality has ensured that both men and women can make their own way in life, so you'd think that women would cease looking at a man as a potential source of income and security.

Of course, our society has evolved into a "gimme" society, in which money, status and credentials have become far more important than such ridiculous things as compassion, honesty, companionship and kindness. Having lived in 3 different countries and having traveled extensively, I won't sugar coat my opinion that when it comes to women, American women are more guilty of this than women in other countries (countries where one can live a far more simple/bohemian life and not be judged based on how much $$$ he brings to the table). Women want security just like men, which is fine, but here in the 21st century, there is no need to depend on a man for that, especially when women have come so far (the US almost had a female president). Sadly, many of the female members who post here on this forum are doing nothing more than perpetuating those negative stereotypes.

Maybe my post belongs in the repulsive "Should broke / unemployed men be dating?" thread. Should such men be dating? Who are any of you to say no, especially in this economy? Since women have equality now, what's wrong with the idea of a woman taking a man out on a date and picking up the tab? If my girlfriend were broke or unemployed, I wouldn't hesitate to help out and I'd expect the same in return (since neither of us are American, that wouldn't be an issue anyway). Many things in life are more important than money, especially love, trust and companionship and knowing that if times turn tough, my partner will stand by me, no matter what.

Back to the OP, why shouldn't he date? Why do so many of you pass judgment on him and his life, as if you get some sort of sick, smug pleasure out of it?

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. I've said my piece and I don't expect many of you to agree with any of the above.
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