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Okay, so i have been friends with benifits with this guy tyler for 2 or 3 months and he doesnt want to go any farther with the relationship, but i have an ex named danny who is writing me love emails and calling me just to see if im okay for no appearent reason, but i really want to be in a relationship with tyler...but then danny seems to be the better choice..i need advice on who is better for me....
Neither - which is fine because there are millions of guys out there
Tyler doesn't want a relationship - so you aren't going to get one
Danny sounds like a wuss who can't move on - and if you don't want to be with him, then there's no relationship there, but I have a feeling that if Tyler wasn't in the picture you just "settle" for Danny
Sounds to me like 1) you are very young 2) you just want to be in a relationship the way you want it - without thinking about the actual connection to begin with
I have to echo what CityGirl72 stated. You have to make your own decisions and not expect someone else to do the thinking for you. Do what you think is absolutely the wisest thing for you with the least consequence to you and the other person. Life is just too, too short. Be happy.
Just try to have both the dudes. Tyler will come around if you don't pressure him very much. For a back up try to bag a third or fourth dude.
You never can have too many BF's, be too skinny or smile too much. That friends with benefits thing sounds like a hot deal for most dudes. Danny probably just needs a bit of comfort with some fringe benefits. He is only part time dude so, his package might not be as great.
If you start out being friends and want more it's not going to work. He is probably loving having it this way and wouldn't change it. If he is able to have sex with you and not gain any more feelings than friendship by now then he isn't going to. I know it hurts but you have to move on before you get hurt even more.
Danny seems a little obsessed. I had a guy like that and in the end I felt creepy around him.
Okay, so i have been friends with benifits with this guy tyler for 2 or 3 months and he doesnt want to go any farther with the relationship, but i have an ex named danny who is writing me love emails and calling me just to see if im okay for no appearent reason, but i really want to be in a relationship with tyler...but then danny seems to be the better choice..i need advice on who is better for me....
It sounds as if this Danny is hanging on...and as if you are hanging onto this Tyler.
Why does it have to be these two? Why not someone else?
Who knows, maybe you are seeming too...."jocking", to Tyler, he knows you're "d-whipped", and if you stop seeing him maybe he'll come around.
Please don't settle. Please. You won't be too happy in the longrun. Sure, things might go OK...but you will always regret the choice you made, with what you should have done, and now it's too late because you're old and no one might want you, and you have kids so you don't want to ruin their lives...wait, I think I just moved the subject off of you and possibly onto someone else
Tyler is using you for sex which is OK since that seems to be what you have SAID you want...but if you think if you hang around long enough he will fall in love with you and want only you, your kidding yourself...
In fact he probably has already put you in the category of women you sleep with but can't take home to meet Mom AND the kind of woman he wouldn't want to have his children...
Well why did he sleep with me in the first place you say???
Because for many men out there sex is just sex...they are able to seperate the relationship thing from the getting off thing...I don't mean all men are like this and I can't even say I think a majority of men are like this but this guy certainly seems to be like this.
IN MY OPINION, sex means something completely different to these kind of men then it seems to mean to you...
Neither - which is fine because there are millions of guys out there
Although I would add Neither - because you don't NEED a man in your life at all! I know it sounds radical, but it's the ONLY way you have an opportunity to discover who you really are, and not just a reflection of what someone else thinks or feels about you.
I remember the adreniline rush of knowing a man wanted me, found me desirable, worthy of his attention and adoration. But also the fear of NOT being chosen, not being adored by a man, in competition with someone else he may find more desirable or interested in being with. If that happened, then I concluded it was because there was something wrong with who I was, that I wasn't good enough. And I exerted even more time, energy, money into making myself "better." But better was being defined by someone else. My self-value and self-worth was entirely dependent upon someone else's reaction to me.
So I walked away from a looong-term relationship that was making me feel shtty about myself, (even though it was hard to do and it made me very sad for a long while ) and took the time to do an internal check on what was important to ME, what I valued, what my goals were, what I wanted to spend my time on if I wasn't with a guy or trying to get a guy...and then I stepped confidently back into the world, not looking for a partner to complete me (as I now know that I AM complete unto myself), but open to sharing myself with someone ONLY if he met my standards, understood my values and supported me wholly in achieving the goals I set for myself.
It's a VERY empowering thing to do for yourself! It's an opportunity to realize how very valuable you are, exactly as you are, in all your natural beauty, with all of the very special qualities you bring to the world, deserving of respect and dignity and adoration, whether anyone else recognizes it or not.
So I say it once again -- You DO NOT need a man to find love or prove your loveability. Only you can validate your worth with your belief in yourself, knowing you are fully capable of loving and caring for yourself. IMO, it's much easier to focus on yourself when you are not exerting all of your energy on getting and keeping "the man."
Because for many men out there sex is just sex...they are able to seperate the relationship thing from the getting off thing...I don't mean all men are like this and I can't even say I think a majority of men are like this but this guy certainly seems to be like this.
IN MY OPINION, sex means something completely different to these kind of men then it seems to mean to you...
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Naw that is bad advice above
I know it sounds radical, but it's the ONLY way you have an opportunity to discover who you really are, and not just a reflection of what someone else thinks or feels about you.
) and took the time to do an internal check on what was important to ME, what I valued, what my goals were, what I wanted to spend my time on if I wasn't with a guy or trying to get a guy...and then I stepped confidently back into the world, not looking for a partner to complete me (as I now know that I AM complete unto myself), but open to sharing myself with someone ONLY if he met my standards, understood my values and supported me wholly in achieving the goals I set for myself.
