Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,003,071 times
Reputation: 9418
Advertisements
Almost every woman has a prince charming--at least one--someone who knocks their socks off, but there are no Mr. Perfects. The closest you can get is 'perfect for me' and I've only found one of those.
39, and I'm fully well prepared to settle. It was a bitter pill to swallow, figuring out that I screwed up in the relationship department and am considered past my prime. Such is life!
Apparently throghout the 20's they still hold onto that dream
Would you say early 30's when the bioligical clock is ticking and they are forced by social stigmas of being single and the bioligical clock is ticking that they realize the perfect guy physically and emotionally doesnt exist and they "settle"??
There are women with unreasonable expectations, sure. But, when I hear men complain that women are looking for Mr. Perfect, I laugh for the most part. It's usually the duds doing the griping and they still won't be in the running once women "realize" and decide to "settle".
I don't know that there is a particular age group, other than what the masses dictate, and there are women already settling in their 20's for a variety of reasons. I know I did from the moment I started dating up until the last few years. I'm 40 and I won't settle ever again. I'm never lonely because I'm in good company and I have no problem with the idea of never being married. I'd love to be someday, but I'd rather be happy alone than just content with someone else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onglet39
39, and I'm fully well prepared to settle. It was a bitter pill to swallow, figuring out that I screwed up in the relationship department and am considered past my prime. Such is life!
I screwed up royally, that does not stop me from expecting what is best for me.
Who considers you past your prime? A bunch of people who could care less about you and don't even know you exist? Why allow them to define your life and your marketability for you? You'd be surprised how many men prefer a more mature woman.
There are women with unreasonable expectations, sure. But, when I hear men complain that women are looking for Mr. Perfect, I laugh for the most part. It's usually the duds doing the griping and they still won't be in the running once women "realize" and decide to "settle".
this is the same thing I was going to say. Most men who complain that women have unrealistic expectations are the other 98% of men whom women consider "duds". I personally am well aware that Im not what many women perceive as the ideal male or that Im considered a dud as some may think. I actually think that is something that the vast majority of men figure out pretty quickly for themselves. Which is why its incumbent on women to realize that unless they do settle for said duds or change their definition of Prince Charming, they will forever be whining about the same lack of "good men" or bickering over the same 2% of men who are Prince Charming...
But I was also wondering whether you would agree that in a lot of ways, the above is somewhat of an outdated model. Having the resources, I would think, is subjective to many if not most women today. Many of them have their own resources, and the resources a man has may or may not be adequate enough to earn their affections. And although women say they like confidence, they often perceive the appearance of too much of it as offputting cockiness. Too, confidence is only really marketable to women when a man is confident about the things that are actually important to women. A man's money, independence, work ethic, and earning potential is no longer the benchmark of importance for many women. For today, there is a burgeoning sect of single women who actually do just as you stated: get it while the getting is good, and then scramble for someone at age 45.
I have always found it interesting how more women dont realize that for the majority of them, there are really only a few truly desirable males for them, based on the standards of that majority of women. And those men have their pick of which women, if any, they find commitment worthy. The rest will (dare I say) just have to settle. Unlike men, who encounter a consortium of ideal partners almost regularly, women (in accordance with their standards)really only have access to a handful of "alpha" males from which to select. This is fine, and it works out well for those women who are the most desirable of females themselves; those "alpha" males may or may not commit to them eventually. But the problem is that only time will tell that fate, and no one has their youth nor health forever. And as these women wait for the commitment of the most desirable men to evolve, they dont realize that those few men will always have access to a replenishing pool of new women, there is no timeframe for their commital.
But in the long run, it seems that too many females must compete for the top dogs, so to speak. And for most women, changing or lowering their standards isnt a consideration until they begin aging. Well most people know that by then, those ideal men are either A) still pursuing and obtaining several women B) have already committed to the most desirable of women. or C) have begun seeking younger and often more attractive females.
I think that until now, this culling of less preferable men until late in life, by women has worked out well for some women. They chased dream lovers and men who would never commit to them in their younger years, and in their older years they scoop up some desperate bum who just wants another warm body to live with.
But now that many social and political factors are changing (wars, rise in violence, homosexual rights movement, disease) fewer men will be alive or accessible to those women in their later years, which I would think makes the issue of reprioritizing their preferences even more pressing for women.
In closing, I guess I would say that the question isnt really when women realize that the proverbial prince charming doesnt exist. But rather the question is: At what age do women realize their place in the hierarchy of womanhood and in the society of women in general? At what age do they realize that they may not have ever been the ideal woman who had what it took to obtain one of the few proverbial Prince Charmings? I suspect that it is in their late 20's or early 30's
Hi solytaire,
I do think selling one self as a mere provider is somewhat outdated. The idea is that you have some resources a screw up bad boy does not have. Some of these guys just have attitude. Many young women do not look much for materialism until they get a bit older. So it should still be about the man. The thing about men is they do have a lot to sell in a personality. It seems most men's personalities are worse around attractive women because of fear. Getting over this helps improve status. One can also simply learn to project confidence. You don't want to go the provider route anyway. You want a woman to fall in love with you. Having nothing may give rise to the proverb that love is not enough. Having some resources simply removes this pit fall. I also think certain male traits are attractive. I don't worry or panic but simply engage the problem. Don't provide what her girl friends already do.
However there is one other thing overlooked here on just how important confidence is. Not only is it attractive to women but it also means you may circulate. If am fearful perhaps I will get up the nerve to speak to a few women. However with confidence, I may meet every women in the room.
There are women with unreasonable expectations, sure. But, when I hear men complain that women are looking for Mr. Perfect, I laugh for the most part. It's usually the duds doing the griping and they still won't be in the running once women "realize" and decide to "settle".
I don't know that there is a particular age group, other than what the masses dictate, and there are women already settling in their 20's for a variety of reasons. I know I did from the moment I started dating up until the last few years. I'm 40 and I won't settle ever again. I'm never lonely because I'm in good company and I have no problem with the idea of never being married. I'd love to be someday, but I'd rather be happy alone than just content with someone else.
I screwed up royally, that does not stop me from expecting what is best for me.
Who considers you past your prime? A bunch of people who could care less about you and don't even know you exist? Why allow them to define your life and your marketability for you? You'd be surprised how many men prefer a more mature woman.
Hi PassTheChocolate,
Why live in a delusion? Love, commitment, friendship do exist but not so much until such time a life is made with someone. We are commodities on the dating market. I didn't try to solve issues in one swoop. I always increased my odds.
There is a market for more mature women. It is more often the short term market. I posted on how chimpanzees prefer older females because they are more successful in the present at raising young rather than young inexperienced females. The reason is long term monogamy does not tend to exist thus its always short term. As to the cougar effect younger men are often still not in their prime while older women are past theirs thus it is simply similar status on either end of the curve. Also there are simply fewer men past 40.
The above does not mean anything in particular but on the whole that is what it is. If women were in their "prime" at 40 I cannot for the life of me understand how we would not be extinct. Women of child bearing age are in their prime for the obvious reason that this all revolves around reproduction. We all have a prime and we all will be past it. I am certainly on the down slope myself. I never could get the best there is even in my prime so its not anything new.
This discussion reminds me of some of these stupid dating web sites. Many women that go these websites think that one day they will find "Prince Charming" online. Basically, the man has to be exactly the way they want him to be and they want him to say only what they want to hear. Indeed, very freaking immature!
Almost every woman has a prince charming--at least one--someone who knocks their socks off, but there are no Mr. Perfects. The closest you can get is 'perfect for me' and I've only found one of those.
too often even those of us to have been chosen as prince charming fall prey to the reverse frog syndrome, usual is 24 months but i have been known to do it in 6 weeks.
but then again i am an exceptional frog.
I find it funny that all the men are answering the question when they have no idea what goes on in a woman's head. I never held on to the prince charming notion. I never even thought about it actually. Maybe it had something to do with my broken-home upbringing, who knows.
There is no such thing as perfect, or even perfect-for-me.There will always be something.
I find someone that I like and hope he's not a serial killer, that's about all I can do these days.
Exactly what's bolded. Things other than serial killers that I've found I do not want are men who lock their Alzheimered mothers in the bedroom hoping that this will allow them to have sex with you uninterrupted but of course you are distracted by the sounds of her trying to get out...men who hope you will share their love of cgi/cartoon porn...men who hope you will share their love of mud-immersion porn...
A man who reads entire books and can discuss them would be a sort of prince charming at 50. Bald and chubby is expected for princes of that age. Teeth are preferred, although it's not fair at that point to be picky about whether they are store-bought or not.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
