To the men: Would you date a woman who just came out of an abusive relationship, almost ruined financially?

[sophialee]

Originally Posted by plaidmom

I must be hotter than I think I am . Or just super-duper lucky. Or something.

Because I have had this situation twice now, in my life, and both times, no problem with dating after-the-fact.

I think of myself as a risk-taker, an adventurer and an entrepreneur. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes....not so much.

Luckily, the men in my life have been able to look the other way. To even offer support and encouragement, and yes, $$$, when needed.

ZOMG! You took MONEY? from a MAN? You GOLDDIGGERRRRRR!!!


Lolololololol.

That was a joke for those who didn't get it.

[plaidmom]

Originally Posted by sophialee

ZOMG! You took MONEY? from a MAN? You GOLDDIGGERRRRRR!!!


Lolololololol.

That was a joke for those who didn't get it.

"What's with the handbasket and where are we ......"

Yeah, that's me.

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by miu

If she's beautiful, sane, educated and not too old, then she should do fine in the dating world. But if she's just come out of a relationship, especially an abusive one, she shouldn't be jumping into the dating scene right away. She ought to give herself at least a few months to recover emotionally.

So how exactly has she been out of this abusive relationship? Is it truly over with and no chance of her going back to the jerk? And what's her rush to dive into another relationship?

A new man in her life might be afraid that she's not completely over her last boyfriend, if she doesn't wait awhile before dating again.

I had to go back to the original thread I started about her, it was in August that she left him. She seems to be over him with no desire to go back and is now just trying to pick up the pieces in her life. She's not ready to dive into anything, she says she is ready to start dating but she is concerned that men won't want her because of her situation.

Originally Posted by malamute

I think you're being harsh with HansProof. There is almost no way that years of putting up with abuse isn't going to mess up someone's mind. It might not mean the victim was messed up before the abuse and it doesn't mean he/she cannot recover but living in an abusive relationship messes most people up.

That's why it's better for those trying to heal not to jump right back into dating.

I agree with you, but that is not the message he was sending. He is the type who thinks he knows it all, all self-righteous and pompous, yet he has no clue as to what he is even talking about. Bad enough to be stuck in that situation only to have idiots on the outside blaming the victim and kicking them when they're down. And wouldn't you know it, this is exactly how abusers behave.

Originally Posted by CESpeed

I agree that it is ignorant to say that someone who is abused doesn't deserve to have new arelationship or that they "allowed" themsselves t be abused. Congradulations on never getting into such a relationship but shame on you for being so insensitive to something you clearly understand little about. No one wants to be abused, but htey live in a constant state of fear. The sad but true stats of women killed trying to escape an abusive relationship is proof that their fear is justified. Abusers are very dangerous people. And whether you believe it or not, it is not as easy as packing a bag and walking away.

I just love actual facts, don't you?

[etacarinae]

Yes , I would date a lady in that situation.
Dependent upon her psyche following the aftermath - if she was homicidal , I'd attempt to change her viewpoints by being the kindest , sweetest , guy she'd met in years. Hopefully it would work and not culminate in my demise.